Feeling unusually sad this evening

Although many feelings, such as lonliness, sadness and anger are heavily criticized, I feel that they exist for a reason.
The key isn't to reject the feelings as fast as possible, but to let them direct you as they are supposed to.
Sometimes, finding someone worse off than yourself, and providing them with help, can lift you up.

I agree with your thoughts. Since my original post, I am feeling much better. I am looking more toward the future. Once the current health issues are behind us, I hope to start volunteering somewhere, and being more active in life.
 

I agree with your thoughts. Since my original post, I am feeling much better. I am looking more toward the future. Once the current health issues are behind us, I hope to start volunteering somewhere, and being more active in life.

Volunteering doesn't necessarily have to be formal.
Nor does it have to be in person. You could, for example, do online tutoring.

https://www.learntobe.org/apply

Some of my experiences might be helpful to readers thinking
about volunteering:

I looked into volunteering to help adults learn to read, or read better.

The group that was searching for "volunteers" required that those volunteers pay what I considered
quite a steep fee to be "trained". I decided that was not for me.

I volunteered to serve as a foster home for a shelter overflowing with cats.
My interactions with the cats and potential new cat owners was very good.
But the woman running the shelter is what I refer to as a "control freak", so I quit doing that.

My point is, be aware of everyone you may have to deal with inside an organization ahead of time.
Some types get involved in things just to satisfy a petty desire to manipulate others.

I got involved in a group that collects donated books, and sends them upon request free of
charge to persons who are in prison. Issues quickly became evident:

1. The demand far outstripped the supply. As you might be aware, the united states locks up a higher
percentage of it's citizens than any other nation on earth. Also, it is possible for states to make money
by taking in (for a fee) convicts from other states, then giving them inadequate
housing, food, etc. to make a profit.

So.....Texas is full of prisons, which often have no prison library or prison education program.
We got a lot of requests.

2. Donations didn't match needs. Out of date computer manuals, for example.
Outdated college textbooks, when what were needed were GED study guides.
Romance novels, when the requests in fiction called for Westerns.

3. This was a tiny volunteer group with no funding to speak of. A little know fact is that shipments from overseas were for decades
heavily subsidized by the American taxpayer.
They get USPS shipping rates that are below cost.
( in case anyone is curious: https://thehill.com/opinion/finance/418081-usps-is-done-subsidizing-chinese-package-shipping)

Similarly, a library can mail materials at a special reduced "library rate".
However, no one had tried to get our group officially designated a "library" by the city so we could qualify for that shipping rate.

4. So, I attended a group meeting of the volunteers after a few months of working there, and tried to make
some suggestions. What I discovered, and others may discover, is that while many persons are eager to
talk about a problem, they're not actually interested in a solution.

One book terms this the "Yes but" game. The person wants affirmation that they are not
a failure, but rather that the situation is in fact as insoluble as they perceive it.

One would think that a new member bringing fresh perspective would be quite welcome.
On the contrary, you may discover entrenched cliques that perceive you as a threat.

You may encounter what is sometimes referred to as the Khaneman effect. The more experienced
and intelligent the person, the more likely they are to presume that they are correct in all instances, while
blind to better solutions. Thinking that is "too quick".

For example, I proposed that we solve the dearth of apt donations issue by partnering with
an online book vendor.

My suggestion was that Amazon (for example) would introduce a step in the book-buying process.
Customers could opt out of seeing this step.

We would create a database of needed books. When a customer clicked "buy now" on a book from our list,
they'd see an opportunity to buy two copies, donating one.
I was quite harshly interrupted by a very intelligent woman, a veteran of the group.
She jumped to the wrong conclusion because
she was too intelligent.

"Those listings of used books on Amazon aren't going to save us any money!" she cried out.
She had, like most intelligent persons, not been listening. Her unconscious
internal dialog was "I already know it all"

She said, "when a used book is listed for only a penny, you click "buy now" and what pops up
is a price that includes a shipping rate of ten or twenty dollars, it's a scam!"

Now, while I was well aware of this fact, I had NOT begun my suggestion by saying,
'hey you can get really cheap books from Amazon", nor anything remotely like that.

My idea wasn't actually specific to Amazon, it's just the example I used.

Similarly, my suggestion that we get designated a library was shot down as "impossible".

You may encounter, to your dismay, dysfunctional groups like this.
When you question counter-productive methods, you may hear "We've always done it that way"
as if no other possibility exists!"

Although I do not know anything about it, you might be interested in the volunteer program
Service Corps of Retired Executives.

I was surprised and uplifted to learn that a program was successful in a major city.
There were a great many single mothers, dropouts, with few if any parenting skills.
This program literally taught single mothers how to be a good parent.

I hope you find an excellent way to share the best of yourself with others.

Edit: Of course many readers are going to say, "why not simply give prisoners Electronic Books and save
all the trouble of collecting and mailing physical books?"
Unfortunately, prisoners are preyed upon for profit, and where this has been introduced
it has been used to make money, not help people.
Also, like most censorship, the available book list is arbitrary and absurd.

Of course, some readers will logically think, "prisoners should not be rewarded with
free education!"
I would just point out that if they emerge educated, the chance of their getting a job that
will pay enough tax to cover the cost of their incarceration might be greater.

As seniors living alone, most of us can relate to the concept of "Out of sight, out of mind".
There are pen pal services. You write a letter. The service re-mails it to the prisoner pen pal.
The prisoner never sees your full name, your address, not even your zip code.
 
Last edited:
Volunteering doesn't necessarily have to be formal.
Nor does it have to be in person. You could, for example, do online tutoring.

https://www.learntobe.org/apply

Some of my experiences might be helpful to readers thinking
about volunteering:

I looked into volunteering to help adults learn to read, or read better.

The group that was searching for "volunteers" required that those volunteers pay what I considered
quite a steep fee to be "trained". I decided that was not for me.

I volunteered to serve as a foster home for a shelter overflowing with cats.
My interactions with the cats and potential new cat owners was very good.
But the woman running the shelter is what I refer to as a "control freak", so I quit doing that.

My point is, be aware of everyone you may have to deal with inside an organization ahead of time.
Some types get involved in things just to satisfy a petty desire to manipulate others.

I got involved in a group that collects donated books, and sends them upon request free of
charge to persons who are in prison. Issues quickly became evident:

1. The demand far outstripped the supply. As you might be aware, the united states locks up a higher
percentage of it's citizens than any other nation on earth. Also, it is possible for states to make money
by taking in (for a fee) convicts from other states, then giving them inadequate
housing, food, etc. to make a profit.

So.....Texas is full of prisons, which often have no prison library or prison education program.
We got a lot of requests.

2. Donations didn't match needs. Out of date computer manuals, for example.
Outdated college textbooks, when what were needed were GED study guides.
Romance novels, when the requests in fiction called for Westerns.

3. This was a tiny volunteer group with no funding to speak of. A little know fact is that shipments from overseas were for decades
heavily subsidized by the American taxpayer.
They get USPS shipping rates that are below cost.
( in case anyone is curious: https://thehill.com/opinion/finance/418081-usps-is-done-subsidizing-chinese-package-shipping)

Similarly, a library can mail materials at a special reduced "library rate".
However, no one had tried to get our group officially designated a "library" by the city so we could qualify for that shipping rate.

4. So, I attended a group meeting of the volunteers after a few months of working there, and tried to make
some suggestions. What I discovered, and others may discover, is that while many persons are eager to
talk about a problem, they're not actually interested in a solution.

One book terms this the "Yes but" game. The person wants affirmation that they are not
a failure, but rather that the situation is in fact as insoluble as they perceive it.

One would think that a new member bringing fresh perspective would be quite welcome.
On the contrary, you may discover entrenched cliques that perceive you as a threat.

You may encounter what is sometimes referred to as the Khaneman effect. The more experienced
and intelligent the person, the more likely they are to presume that they are correct in all instances, while
blind to better solutions. Thinking that is "too quick".

For example, I proposed that we solve the dearth of apt donations issue by partnering with
an online book vendor.

My suggestion was that Amazon (for example) would introduce a step in the book-buying process.
Customers could opt out of seeing this step.

We would create a database of needed books. When a customer clicked "buy now" on a book from our list,
they'd see an opportunity to buy two copies, donating one.
I was quite harshly interrupted by a very intelligent woman, a veteran of the group.
She jumped to the wrong conclusion because
she was too intelligent.

"Those listings of used books on Amazon aren't going to save us any money!" she cried out.
She had, like most intelligent persons, not been listening. Her unconscious
internal dialog was "I already know it all"

She said, "when a used book is listed for only a penny, you click "buy now" and what pops up
is a price that includes a shipping rate of ten or twenty dollars, it's a scam!"

Now, while I was well aware of this fact, I had NOT begun my suggestion by saying,
'hey you can get really cheap books from Amazon", nor anything remotely like that.

My idea wasn't actually specific to Amazon, it's just the example I used.

Similarly, my suggestion that we get designated a library was shot down as "impossible".

You may encounter, to your dismay, dysfunctional groups like this.
When you question counter-productive methods, you may hear "We've always done it that way"
as if no other possibility exists!"

Although I do not know anything about it, you might be interested in the volunteer program
Service Corps of Retired Executives.

I was surprised and uplifted to learn that a program was successful in a major city.
There were a great many single mothers, dropouts, with few if any parenting skills.
This program literally taught single mothers how to be a good parent.

I hope you find an excellent way to share the best of yourself with others.

Edit: Of course many readers are going to say, "why not simply give prisoners Electronic Books and save
all the trouble of collecting and mailing physical books?"
Unfortunately, prisoners are preyed upon for profit, and where this has been introduced
it has been used to make money, not help people.
Also, like most censorship, the available book list is arbitrary and absurd.

Of course, some readers will logically think, "prisoners should not be rewarded with
free education!"
I would just point out that if they emerge educated, the chance of their getting a job that
will pay enough tax to cover the cost of their incarceration might be greater.

As seniors living alone, most of us can relate to the concept of "Out of sight, out of mind".
There are pen pal services. You write a letter. The service re-mails it to the prisoner pen pal.
The prisoner never sees your full name, your address, not even your zip code.
thank you for that -- I refer to that particular malady as the "kruger dunning" effect ...look it up I am sure you will enjoy applying to your local moronic culture as I do.....
 
As I have reported here, over the past few months, I have been doing well since Rick died. But this evening has been a bad one. I have been feeling rather down in the dumps. Not really sure why, as I am doing stuff to move on.
I think it may be the winter time blues kicking in. Past few days been very cold (seasonable temps, but cold and snowy). Getting dark early. And with the weather, I cannot just pick up and go for a ride, or do something.
I am wondering if I am feeling symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Or what? This forum has been a good support to me, and I do not mean to whine. Just feeling out of sorts. I am going to my doctor tomorrow, and's my therapist next week. So, I guess I have a lot to talk about.
@Marie5656 That's very normal. My sister passed tragically on my birthday last year. I have down days which are getting far and in between. You may be feeling SAD. So glad you will be going to see your therapist next week. My heart goes out to those that have been effected by C-19 but I have not wrapped my head around it with everything that has been going on in my life.... My sister passed away, my oldest son being in and out the hospital..it's been a bit much. But through it all, I am doing well. Taking one day at a time and enjoying life in between. I pray all is well with you.
 

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