Finish this: As life passes, I realize more and more . . . . . .

As life passes, I realize more and more . . . . . .​


Heh, wrote this over four years ago
Nothing seems to have changed



It’s so so very easy for me to mix it up
Growing up, it was fun
Youth has these challenges
I met most face on

It can follow one thru young adulthood
Boxing is no cure…thought it might be

A verbal skirmish is just a weak compromise
But it’s the same thing, really

Heh, even got paid to do that
Thought I got good at it
Pride is such a disguised enabler

Get old enough, you come to some determinations, some real values, seems

People, any, are of immeasurable value
Maybe they don’t even know it
Don’t matter
I know it

Sometimes I revert to my old ways
It disgusts me
I don’t hate myself for it
I just get sickened, low in spirit, then angry
Butchering wood helps
Then I swear, never again
When ‘again’ happens, I do more swearing, in earnest

I am very sorry to have brought myself so low to have verbally skirmished with anyone here, including Ric…known here as Traveler
Nobody needs that, nobody, not in this day
There’s plenty of travail to circle the globe all by itself without my assistance
A sorta proving of perpetual motion

This was me
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This needs to be me
I like that me;
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Those of whom I’ve hurt here, in any way…please forgive me
You don't have to tell me, just do it in yer heart

Tomorrow, I butcher wood

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keep a fire
 
The passage of days, weeks, months, years, is like in a seaside town, a bowling ball rolling down a long paved downhill street with a tall sea cliff at the bottom of the road end. My life just keeps accelerating faster and faster towards that inevitable sad ending while picking up more and more sticky tossed chewing gum, dripped motor oil, cigarette butts, squirrel road kill, french fries with ketchup, and COVID surgical masks, making for an increasingly bumpy ride towards the eternal brink. 😧
 

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