For the Ladies, Explaining Boys...

fureverywhere

fureverywhere

beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
Location
Northern NJ, USA
Dang this is hard. My Mom was a teen in the late 1930's. I was a teen of the mid-70's...sex and drugs and rock and roll...whooo hooo...My poor Mom jeez. Now I'm in the position of trying to explain boys. That you will meet somebody who loves you for YOU...not just how feely they can get. My other daughters grew so distant at her age. This is something new for me. I mean you don't want to tell them " Boys are lying so and so's who will do anything to score". But at the same time...really, wait...and there will be that special guy waiting for you...it's true. It took me 25 years but he's still with me decades later.
 

Men can have casual or loving sex, but they will have sex. Women screw around a lot more since the sixties, but they do not appreciate booty calls as much...
 
It's a sad fact of life but young women often are poor pickers when it comes to the men in their life. All one has to do is see the number of single mothers raising kids with little if any support from the father. If these young women would listen to their daddy they would be much better off. Or a brother. Or just about any male relative who cares for them. We can sniff out the jerks. Just as women can sniff out the floozies, fortune hunters and vain women. Do sons listen any better?
 
A floozie used to be what young men went looking for in the old days for pure and simple sex. More recent terms are easy, loose, or slut...
 
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We could have a field day of fun talking about the various ways modern women judge men.

The issue in talking to a daughter about 'boys' is simple. If you get pregnant you are the one who ends up having an abortion ( a difficult thing to do regardless of one's position on its legality) or taking care of the baby for at least 18 more years.

All young folks should carefully think about whether or not they wish to be tied to a person for 18 years or more just because he/she is a parent of their child. I know many women who end up single moms with no help from the father. But, I also know good men who want to be part of their child's life who are badly treated and manipulated by a mother who is out for revenge or other nasty form of vengeance. Think hard about anybody you might make a child with. 18 years is a long time.
 
Brookswood said:
We could have a field day of fun talking about the various ways modern women judge men.

The issue in talking to a daughter about 'boys' is simple. If you get pregnant you are the one who ends up having an abortion ( a difficult thing to do regardless of one's position on its legality) or taking care of the baby for at least 18 more years.

All young folks should carefully think about whether or not they wish to be tied to a person for 18 years of more just because he/she is a parent of their child. I know many women who end up single moms with no help from the father. But, I also know good men who want to be part of their child's life who are badly treated and manipulated by a mother who is out for revenge or other nasty form of vengeance. Think hard about anybody you might make a child with. 18 years is a long time.
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Lots of young folks know about birth control, too, these days. All of my nieces and nephews do.
 
My sons were easy. Both had their flock of male buddies. Between working and video games, girls didn't fit into the equation. At maybe 25 the older son met his wife and they will be happily ever after by all accounts. The younger one is enjoying his freedom. Him and his friends went white water rafting a few weeks back. Next trip they're planning is Vegas...having too much fun to worry about commitment just yet.
 
True, yet out of wedlock births are at or near historical highs.

As a former teacher at an elementary school I can't tell you how many times a mother commented she was glad her son was in my class since "now he will have a good male role model". I do my best, but it is very sad that a paid public servant, even if he is a teacher, must be a young boy's only male role model.
 
Out of wedlock births are no longer a phenomenon in the non teen set either. Many peeps chose either to delay marriage, or to forgo it all together. I did. No regrets. My adult son still has an agreeable relationship with his dad, long after he and I parted company.
 
Brookswood said:
It's a sad fact of life but young women often are poor pickers when it comes to the men in their life. All one has to do is see the number of single mothers raising kids with little if any support from the father. If these young women would listen to their daddy they would be much better off. Or a brother. Or just about any male relative who cares for them. We can sniff out the jerks. Just as women can sniff out the floozies, fortune hunters and vain women. Do sons listen any better?
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Short answer: no. Young men make equally poor choices in women, manage to find women that will manipulate them / use them for their own purposes.
 
I think is is extremely important that girls (and boys, too) get a really good, down to earth understanding of birth control and STD's and what's at stake if they fail to act responsibly. Not necessarily a pretty or romantic subject, but vital to their future health and welfare. Life doesn't have a "delete" key.
 
Of course safe sex is one of the most important lessons kids need. But the other emphasis has to be helping them realize their teens and twenties is when they need to concentrate on education and gainful employment. They'll have the rest of their life for romance...becoming self supporting is the important thing. If I knew then what I know now, I would have stayed a virgin till twenty five.
 
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