Getting old has no benefits.

HoneyNut said:
I wonder if they make TVs that have Siri/Alexa that we could just tell them out loud to turn on/off and change channel? I remember when my father was old one time I came in to find him watching static on the TV because he couldn't work the remote. I felt really sad about it.
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We use Roku Streaming service. They have a remote that has a microphone button, when you push it a microphone icon appears in a corner and you can tell it what you need it to do: What channel, to search for movies or shows on a channel, to pause or resume.

I'm usually telling it 'Oops, pushed you by mistake.'
 

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Mitch86 said:
Funny that you and others brought up a "professional." My brother had a psychiatrist and died in his office 2 years ago. He had cancer, heart disease and COVID19. In the end no one really knew what killed him. He was 83. Personally, I think "professionals" like psychiatrists and psychologists push only BS. They are a total waste of time. They can NOT heal any illnesses we have. They are the modern equivalent of the witch doctors in Africa. The mind cannot reverse the decline and illnesses of aging all of which end in DEATH. Personally, I don't believe in any "gods," heaven or hell. I only believe in one real Master of the Universe, DEATH! Father Death rescues all of us at the end from pain and suffering by causing us to cease living upon which time all our problems are solved.
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Western medicine can do many amazing things, but they do not have much to offer to ease pain. It seems like with every medical "solution" there is some undesirable side effect.

Mitch86 said:
In the meantime I live each day as if it was my last enjoying my PC and all the game programs and other internet locations and just have FUN until Father Death claims me.
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If you're enjoying your time then I'd say that is a big plus.
 
The way that I see it, the biggest benefit of growing older has been not having to die young.
Everyone gets the chance to be young once but not everyone gets the chance to grow old.
Granted, it’s not ideal. Some days are better than others. But I plan on hanging in here for as long as it reasonably lasts. And I also plan to be reasonably cheerful whenever possible because I know it’s no fun to be around someone who’s consistently negative and complaining.
 

Chris P Bacon said:
The way that I see it, the biggest benefit of growing older has been not having to die young.
Everyone gets the chance to be young once but not everyone gets the chance to grow old.
Granted, it’s not ideal. Some days are better than others. But I plan on hanging in here for as long as it reasonably lasts. And I also plan to be reasonably cheerful whenever possible because I know it’s no fun to be around someone who’s consistently negative and complaining.
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View attachment 213681
 
I notice I can totally sublimate pain by keeping busy every minute playing computer games and going to internet chat rooms and forums like this one. Even with my neck bent over at a steep angle, as you can see from my picture, I can still enjoy all the things on my PC. By the way, I am MitchW and I access the chat room, channel 97, at the Internet Chess Club a lot.
 
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My brother, 3 years younger than me, knows nothing about computers or technology. He doesn't use data on his cell phone, recently in a conundrum because his cable provider tied the internet in with his cable tv. Sadly, he is not willing or motivated to change his lifestyle simply because he has resigned himself as unteachable. So sad, and he was the smart one who aced the GED exam without preparation. Go figure?
 
Mr. Ed said:
My brother, 3 years younger than me, knows nothing about computers or technology. He doesn't use data on his cell phone, recently in a conundrum because his cable provider tied the internet in with his cable tv. Sadly, he is not willing or motivated to change his lifestyle simply because he has resigned himself as unteachable. So sad, and he was the smart one who aced the GED exam without preparation. Go figure?
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Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. - Henry Ford
 
Chris P Bacon said:
The way that I see it, the biggest benefit of growing older has been not having to die young.
Everyone gets the chance to be young once but not everyone gets the chance to grow old.
Granted, it’s not ideal. Some days are better than others. But I plan on hanging in here for as long as it reasonably lasts. And I also plan to be reasonably cheerful whenever possible because I know it’s no fun to be around someone who’s consistently negative and complaining.
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Oh :poop:. That hurt me deeply.
 
RFW said:
Oh :poop:. That hurt me deeply​
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iu
 
Mitch86 said:
The older I get, the more things I cannot do. My neck is bent over and I can barely operate a PC or watch TV. I have totally forgotten how my TV remotes work. I'll call the TV company for that. Walking is getting difficult. Soon I will need a wheel chair. Everyone I once knew is no DEAD. Even family doesn't to talk to me or visit me since it is too depressing for them. My wife is still alive so we can talk to each other. If she dies, I will be all alone and may end up in a nursing home.
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I am very very sorry to hear this Mitch. I am 61. I have profound injuries from car accidents. It certainly is not an easy ride.

I live in constant, severe pain and I can't tolerate pain killers.

It is hardly an easy life.

I have great sympathy for all those who struggle in pain and difficulties.

And this has been going on for a long time. My first serious problem happened way back in 1982.

What I would say, from experiencing great difficulties all this time...is that no matter how bad it gets, there is always some way, to see it in a better light.

Some joy, some beauty, some peace...will always pierce through the dark clouds a bit. May take a good deal of work to find it and feel it...but I do think it is always there.

One of my injuries was in my neck. It is still a problem. It was so bad that the natural "C" curve flattened out fully, and started to curve in the opposite direction.

What helped me was chiropractic work and also a similar therapy, called cranio-sacral therapy. I would certainly suggest that looking into both of those might help some.

And I would ask the therapist there for a specialized pillow that would work best for your neck problems. I sleep on a special pillow..it helps tremendously.

As a disabled person, I have had the same experience. Family and friends just don't want to interact much. But I would not give up on it all. Maybe just do less? You know, maybe just call relatives for birthdays and Holidays...and allow yourself a little bit of contact, even if it is not as much as you would like, or not have the quality of contact that you would like.

And always remember, that whatever burden we are to our relatives...it is THEIR duty to be accommodating to us, not the reverse. We are the ones in pain, who need and deserve proper attention and care.

I hope you can find your way to some peace and some happiness.


Take care now...
 
@JonSR77 said:

"...that whatever burden we are to our relatives...it is THEIR duty to be accommodating to us, not the reverse. We are the ones in pain, who need and deserve proper attention and care."

As you read what I'm about say keep in mind that if my mother had survived her the stroke she had just weeks before her 60th birthday my brother and i would have stepped up to be caregivers despite our problematic relationships with her because her last spouse way too self absorbed and controlling to fill that roll well. Also i didn't hear from my beloved Dad from the time imy parents divorced when i was 11 till i physically went to his home when i was almost 20 totally unsure of the reception i would get (a story for a different time) but when he was terminally ill almost 30 years later my then husband, 11 yr old daughter and i cared for him his final weeks so he could die at home as he wished.

Duty? Of whom? Which relatives? Parents,siblings, children, spouses? That may sound reasonable to you, but when you consider the broad spectrum of family dynamics, it may not be.
Does an abuse survivor have any duty or obligation to provide care for a now weak and vulnerable, yet often unrepentant abuser? And would that even be wise, safe?

We'll never know for sure how many cases of elder neglect or abuse stem from a reversal of roles. But readings i did as part of BA studies suggest it a fairly common scenario.

My Maternal Grandmother was physically and verbally abusive to her 3 daughters while spoiling her son. Yes she lived with my Uncle after grandpa died, but only till her inheritance from grandpa ran out and her only income was spousal SSA, cause she was never employed. Then she lived with first my Mom, her youngest, for afew years and then the eldest till her issues required 24/7 supervision.

The middle sister, who was most like their Mother (hypercritical and mean spirited) refused to be under the same roof except for big holiday meals, but at least contributed $$ to her care, while the son she so adored who had used her inheritance to relocate and set himself up well never contributed a dime.

Even when she was in the nursing home her eldest and youngest visited regular, tho she was in and out of lucidity. My eldest Aunt had medical power of attorney, and during the last year of grandma's life when her heart was stopping frequently the nursing home urged her to sign a DNR. She told them they'd have to catch her mother in a lucid moment because Aunt Maddy didn't trust herself about it. "Would I be signing it so she could be at peace, or so we could be finally free of her?" Is how she explained it to me, and yet she also faulted herself for how much her mother was suffering, hanging on to life.

One final question, do you really think the elderly are the only ones with pain and/or difficulties?

Personally, if i thought my daughter was here out of duty/obligation now or in the future i would not want her with me. Nor my sons.
 
Those with some forms of painful terminal cancers face the same reality. But then you aren't there yet. Humans will usually do what they can to quickly end the lives of broken animals agonizing in pain on our highways.

Although the positives many have related are generally valid towards continuing life, the needle increasingly points in the other direction with pain and hopelessness. At a vague level where pain cannot be reduced increases to a level that prevents a person from experiencing or doing much of anything worthwhile, the balance of life versus death is not too clear that any cheerleading has little value promoting. Yes today medical science has powerful medicines to surpress pain but if the person left is relegated to cringing up in a ball in the corner or worse, that has little to offer continuing. For those that may think otherwise, recall the last time you had a bad toothache passing the hours second by second before a dental appointment finally performed that root canal? What if that appointment wasn't an option? So yeah @Mitch86 I can se where you are looking towards your possible future situation that you can hope isn't near.
 
There is a benefit that seems to be missing. LIVING TO REACH OLD AGE. Many threads have been posted where within the thread posters have reflected on great memories as they aged.

I can't relate to what Mitch 86 is experiencing so this thread of his gives me a better understanding as to how fortunate I am.
 
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Sometimes, maybe sadly but still, the benefit of old age is not to the benefit of the aged one but to those around them. Someone grumpy and dissatisfied with life, who constantly talks about how they long for it to be over with, when they get there, I suppose it would benefit those who were subjected to the negativity for the life’s duration of the unhappy one. I’m all for death with dignity but life without unnecessary frustration seems appealing too. Why not use induced comas?
 
Just to see how euthanasia is handled these days, Physician-assisted suicide and euthanasia Physician-assisted suicide and/or voluntary active euthanasia has been legalized in a few countries. PAS is legal in Switzerland, the Netherlands. and the U.S. state of Oregon and active euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands and Belgium.

The big question is society right to let their citizens dwell in terrible pain for years without any choices or should Euthanasia be legalized. However, here in America we have Living Wills and Advanced Directives whereby anyone can refuse all all medication including nutrition and hydration when they face serious pain with no hope of recovery. I have a Living Will and Advanced Directive just "in case."

At least 47 states have adopted laws allowing living wills or advance medical directives, and 11 of them placed restrictions on advance directives for pregnant individuals. Besides Idaho, the others are Alabama, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Missouri, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and Wisconsin, according to Legal Voice.

One organization helping folks exit insoluble pain and suffering is Exit International which can be reached here:

https://www.exitinternational.net/
 
feywon said:
@JonSR77 said:

"...that whatever burden we are to our relatives...it is THEIR duty to be accommodating to us, not the reverse. We are the ones in pain, who need and deserve proper attention and care."

As you read what I'm about say keep in mind that if my mother had survived her the stroke she had just weeks before her 60th birthday my brother and i would have stepped up to be caregivers despite our problematic relationships with her because her last spouse way too self absorbed and controlling to fill that roll well. Also i didn't hear from my beloved Dad from the time imy parents divorced when i was 11 till i physically went to his home when i was almost 20 totally unsure of the reception i would get (a story for a different time) but when he was terminally ill almost 30 years later my then husband, 11 yr old daughter and i cared for him his final weeks so he could die at home as he wished.

Duty? Of whom? Which relatives? Parents,siblings, children, spouses? That may sound reasonable to you, but when you consider the broad spectrum of family dynamics, it may not be.
Does an abuse survivor have any duty or obligation to provide care for a now weak and vulnerable, yet often unrepentant abuser? And would that even be wise, safe?

We'll never know for sure how many cases of elder neglect or abuse stem from a reversal of roles. But readings i did as part of BA studies suggest it a fairly common scenario.

My Maternal Grandmother was physically and verbally abusive to her 3 daughters while spoiling her son. Yes she lived with my Uncle after grandpa died, but only till her inheritance from grandpa ran out and her only income was spousal SSA, cause she was never employed. Then she lived with first my Mom, her youngest, for afew years and then the eldest till her issues required 24/7 supervision.

The middle sister, who was most like their Mother (hypercritical and mean spirited) refused to be under the same roof except for big holiday meals, but at least contributed $$ to her care, while the son she so adored who had used her inheritance to relocate and set himself up well never contributed a dime.

Even when she was in the nursing home her eldest and youngest visited regular, tho she was in and out of lucidity. My eldest Aunt had medical power of attorney, and during the last year of grandma's life when her heart was stopping frequently the nursing home urged her to sign a DNR. She told them they'd have to catch her mother in a lucid moment because Aunt Maddy didn't trust herself about it. "Would I be signing it so she could be at peace, or so we could be finally free of her?" Is how she explained it to me, and yet she also faulted herself for how much her mother was suffering, hanging on to life.

One final question, do you really think the elderly are the only ones with pain and/or difficulties?

Personally, if i thought my daughter was here out of duty/obligation now or in the future i would not want her with me. Nor my sons.
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sorry if my post was upsetting in any way.
 
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JonSR77 said:
so sorry about all the difficulties.
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Hey Jon. Thought I should say something here. Whenever my PTSD kicks into high gear, it always compels me to abandon all hope as I am nothing but a burden to my family. But the thought of family losing me stops me every time especially when there's one nearby. While I don't think they should be responsible for the illness they had no part in, they are undeniably the ones who keep me alive to this day. I see some truth in your words.

I appreciate your candor, nonetheless.
 
RFW said:
Hey Jon. Thought I should say something here. Whenever my PTSD kicks into high gear, it always compels me to abandon all hope as I am nothing but a burden to my family. But the thought of family losing me stops me every time especially when there's one nearby. While I don't think they should be responsible for the illness they had no part in, they are undeniably the ones who keep me alive to this day. I see some truth in your words.

I appreciate your candor, nonetheless.
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I am a former monastic. I am quite confident in my opinions about humanity and compassion.
 
JonSR77 said:
sorry if my post was upsetting in any way.
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JonSR77 said:
so sorry about all the difficulties.
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Thank you, but my reaction is born of my experiences and of having known way too many people who were neglected and/or abused as children. As well as the knowledge that dysfunction and abuse is often passed from generation to generation and how hard it can be to break the cycle.

You were looking it at it from one perspective. I was seeing it thru the eyes of people dear to me who agonized over doing right by aging relatives, and suffered further for theIr choice to do right.

I was not upset with you personally just the idea that people should feel obligated to cater to elders no matter how those elders had behaved toward them. I'm sorry for coming on so strong.
 
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Mitch86 said:
Just to see how euthanasia is handled these days, Physician-assisted suicide and euthanasia Physician-assisted suicide and/or voluntary active euthanasia has been legalized in a few countries. PAS is legal in Switzerland, the Netherlands. and the U.S. state of Oregon and active euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands and Belgium.

The big question is society right to let their citizens dwell in terrible pain for years without any choices or should Euthanasia be legalized. However, here in America we have Living Wills and Advanced Directives whereby anyone can refuse all all medication including nutrition and hydration when they face serious pain with no hope of recovery. I have a Living Will and Advanced Directive just "in case."

At least 47 states have adopted laws allowing living wills or advance medical directives, and 11 of them placed restrictions on advance directives for pregnant individuals. Besides Idaho, the others are Alabama, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Missouri, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and Wisconsin, according to Legal Voice.

One organization helping folks exit insoluble pain and suffering is Exit International which can be reached here:

https://www.exitinternational.net/
Click to expand...
This i agree with you on, we each should be able to define when our 'quality of life' has drops below an acceptable level.
 

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