Grandkids

Here's a story..

When my oldest grandson was three.. we went to dinner with my son, DIL, him and his baby sister. After we left the restaurant, we were walking down a narrow path. My DIL and grandson were side by side in front.. My Husband and I were next. and my son was behind my husband carrying the baby. I turned my head to say something to my son.. My grandson tripped and fell, and I fell over him.. chipping his one front baby tooth in half. It was a horrible scene.. I cried, he cried, my DIL cried... We found an emergency dentist and took him in.. He ended up needing a root canal.. which I felt so guilty about, I paid for it.

NOW.. this was a complete accident... however, I found out years later that my DIL had been harboring hatred for me ever since then... Went around telling everyone in the family or anyone who would listen that I was drunk and staggering. Hardly true on one glass of wine with dinner. BUT.. It did confirm one thing.. I was not going to ever watch the kids again.. and was never allowed to. I have to think that if I were HER mother, all would have been forgiven.

He's now 13 and has his adult teeth... by the way..
 

QuickSilver said:
Here's a story..

When my oldest grandson was three.. we went to dinner with my son, DIL, him and his baby sister. After we left the restaurant, we were walking down a narrow path. My DIL and grandson were side by side in front.. My Husband and I were next. and my son was behind my husband carrying the baby. I turned my head to say something to my son.. My grandson tripped and fell, and I fell over him.. chipping his one front baby tooth in half. It was a horrible scene.. I cried, he cried, my DIL cried... We found an emergency dentist and took him in.. He ended up needing a root canal.. which I felt so guilty about, I paid for it.

NOW.. this was a complete accident... however, I found out years later that my DIL had been harboring hatred for me ever since then... Went around telling everyone in the family or anyone who would listen that I was drunk and staggering. Hardly true on one glass of wine with dinner. BUT.. It did confirm one thing.. I was not going to ever watch the kids again.. and was never allowed to. I have to think that if I were HER mother, all would have been forgiven.

He's now 13 hand has his adult teeth... by the way..
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How awful! Yes, if she was your daughter it would have been different. I've got a DIL from hell and for the life of me will never figure out why my son got together with her.
 
Ameriscot said:
How awful! Yes, if she was your daughter it would have been different. I've got a DIL from hell and for the life of me will never figure out why my son got together with her.
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I didn't know for 10 years how much she hated me.. and how much her family did too.. Apparently every word, every movement, every facial expression was critiqued and discussed.. I knew something was wrong with how she was acting, and how my son always seemed to be a bundle of nerves when we were together. I just couldn't put my finger on it... I kept asking my son, and never got an answer. Finally it all came to a head over something, which I cannot remember.. Oh.. yes.. I innocently sent her a FB friend request.. anyway.. a huge argument ensued and she ended up telling me everything she hated, and accused me of doing and saying things to her family that I have no recollection of.. Long story short. She is no longer allowed in my home.. nor she ever be. My son brings his kids to see me, and she and I do not interact.. which is fine with me.
 

QuickSilver said:
I didn't know for 10 years how much she hated me.. and how much her family did too.. Apparently every word, every movement, every facial expression was critiqued and discussed.. I knew something was wrong with how she was acting, and how my son always seemed to be a bundle of nerves when we were together. I just couldn't put my finger on it... I kept asking my son, and never got an answer. Finally it all came to a head over something, which I cannot remember.. Oh.. yes.. I innocently sent her a FB friend request.. anyway.. a huge argument ensued and she ended up telling me everything she hated, and accused me of doing and saying things to her family that I have no recollection of.. Long story short. She is no longer allowed in my home.. nor she ever be. My son brings his kids to see me, and she and I do not interact.. which is fine with me.
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That's a shame. What a b*tch.
 
QuickSilver said:
No loss as far as I'm concerned. I just wish I would have known sooner.
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Yes, that would have been helpful.

I envy my sister getting along so well with her two dils and one sil. They're all lovely people. And she's also friends with her kids mother and father in laws, but one set more than the others.
 
I am blessed that my DIL and I get along just fine. She has been a great help to me many times, like when I had my hips replaced, she was the one who took me to the hospital, and popped in to help me out when I was recovering. My son works various places out of town and is gone for long stretches of time sometimes. I don't know what I'd have done without my DIL when I had the hips done. She's also the one I called when I fell and dislocated my shoulder and she dropped everything and took me to the ER and stayed with me during the whole ordeal. She also has my medical power of attorney, in case someone needs to make decisions and I am not able to do so. I love and trust her -- she's a true gem.
 
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QuickSilver said:
I didn't know for 10 years how much she hated me.. and how much her family did too.. Apparently every word, every movement, every facial expression was critiqued and discussed.. I knew something was wrong with how she was acting, and how my son always seemed to be a bundle of nerves when we were together. I just couldn't put my finger on it... I kept asking my son, and never got an answer. Finally it all came to a head over something, which I cannot remember.. Oh.. yes.. I innocently sent her a FB friend request.. anyway.. a huge argument ensued and she ended up telling me everything she hated, and accused me of doing and saying things to her family that I have no recollection of.. Long story short. She is no longer allowed in my home.. nor she ever be. My son brings his kids to see me, and she and I do not interact.. which is fine with me.
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So sorry you had to endure all that. Strange people. Bless your son. It is good he enables you to see your grandchildren, for both you and the children. Enjoy your zoo day.
 
Butterfly said:
I am blessed that my DIL and I get along just fine. She has been a great help to me many times, like when I had my hips replaced, she was the one who took me to the hospital, and popped in to help me out when I was recovering. My son works various places out of town and is gone for long stretches of time sometimes. I don't know what I'd have done without my DIL when I had the hips done. She's also the one I called when I fell and dislocated my shoulder and she dropped everything and took me to the ER and stayed with me during the whole ordeal. She also has my medical power of attorney, in case someone needs to make decisions and I am not able to do so. I love and trust her -- she's a true gem.
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You are truly blessed.
 
Robusta said:
I don't know how to answer. We love our granddaughter unconditionally. She is the absolute light of our lives.
Problem/Joy I don't know. We are the baby sitters. Her parents both work unconventional shifts with varying hours,making it impossible to have daycare. We step in with having her overnite two days a week and cover a three hour shift change the other days of the week.
Do we like it? No! We do not like the commitment that takes so much of free time!
Yes! We love having her around and helping her have as close to an idyllic childhood as we can provide. Parents don't always have the time to engage her fully where we are able to take our time and teach her the beauty and love that surrounds her.
Family is paramount on my side. We take pride in multigenerational gatherings with close and extended family. We take great joy in letting her know that she will never be alone in the world as long as there is a family member to support her.
I guess that my sense of duty to family out weighs my personal desire to be unencumbered by responsibilities
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Can so relate. I too lost years of my life having grandchildren live with me. Though I mourn the time I gave away....I do not regret the time I had with them. And even now, though I love them all, am closer to the ones that lived with me.
 
During visits with my grand kids, they have gotten scrapes, scratches, bumps, bruises, splinters & bee stings and I have yet to loose my grandparent privileges! More important than if those grand kids are your son's or daughter's children, is that their parents trust putting them in your care.
 
maplebeez said:
During visits with my grand kids, they have gotten scrapes, scratches, bumps, bruises, splinters & bee stings and I have yet to loose my grandparent privileges! More important than if those grand kids are your son's or daughter's children, is that their parents trust putting them in your care.
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My son does.. DIL.... absolutely not.
 
I'm now waiting to see the great grand children. Being much older now, I don't expect to be trusted to look after them very much but I will do my best to support their parents where I can.

I really loved every minute I was able to spend with my six grand children and I'm pleased to say that they like having me around now, even though the opportunities are much less than they used to be.
 
I have 7 grandkids confirmed, one unconfirmed, and 1 on the way.
We rarely get to see any of them due to parental squabbling, due to custody issues so I don't really get to see them or bond with them. This is ok because they are loud and run to fast. I am not good grandma material.
 
I have 1 grandchild who he and my daughter live with me. She doesn't contributes nothing but part of the cable bill, she works PT. That doesn't bother me as much As I feel she tries to take advantage of me to watch him. He's in preschool for about 4 hours. My health is not good, I had to retire early because of my health. She knows this. I watch him on Monday's for about 5 hours. And sometimes she goes to the store and is gone for like 2-3 hour's. Right now she's not speaking to me much because I had refused to watch him. He's everything to me, his energy could light up New York, he reaks havoc in the house, she doesn't clean up after him and leaves piles of dishes in the sink. She told my other daughter that because he's my grandson that I should want to watch him? That really PISST me off!!! I didn't retire to be his nanny. Her disaplining of him is laughable, she doesn't follow through on what she says, I end up handling him. I'm done with this, so next year I'am going to look for a room to rent, I've only been staying here for them. Now I see she doesn't appreciate what I've done for her. I never asked to be a grandma. Through I wouldn't trade him for the world, I think this would be better for our relationship?
 
Patnono said:
You are correct? I feel trapped, he's so active when he's around it gets my anxiety going. I do hate feeling this way.
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You said above you were thinking about getting out next year. Were I you, I would do it a lot sooner than that. Life is to short to stay in a situation that is tearing you up and affecting your health. Your daughter's childcare issues are not your responsibility, and it is not your problem that she only has a part time job. What IS your problem is your health, both physical and mental -- do not sacrifice your life on the altar of your daughter's irresponsibility, she apparently doesn't appreciate your help anyway.
 
I agree, she doesn't appreciate it, but my mom did that to my sister without warning and she ended up homeless living with me and my ex-husband. The kids always end up paying the price, doing this for my grandson. My daughter and I are just staying out of each others way. And someone else is watching him. She hasn't asked me. He's in preschool for 4-5 hour's Tuesday-Friday
 
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