Has anybody ever had a problem with a Peeping Tom?

S

Stormy

Guest
A friend of mine lives alone in her own little house she's a little older than me and very attractive. Where she lives the houses are very close to each other with just a narrow grassy patch in between and the windows of one house almost line up directly with the next. A couple just moved in next door and she said they were nice people but the woman is gone all day working and her husband stays home all day and they have a couple of cats. She told me she's been creeped out because she thinks this guy is trying to look into her window during the day. She likes to keep that curtain open so she gets air and light and her cat likes to look out all windows.

She said that she finds herself always looking at that window now out of the corner of her eye to see if he's there because sometimes he just stands or sits there petting his cat. He hasn't made any faces or even made eye contact with her but she suddenly feels uncomfortable until the wife comes home, then nobody's by the window. I told her to give him the benefit of the doubt because he might just be checking out his new house and lounging around with nothing bad in mind. I just told her to stay fully dressed unless that curtain is closed and the shades are down. Has anybody here ever really had a problem with a Peeping Tom? I never did and maybe my friend is just paranoid and overreacting she said the people who lived there before were never even by that window
 

No never. If she's creeped out by this couldn't she let the cats sun themselves at another window so she could close the one he's using? It's a lousy feeling to think someone may be sort of spying on you. I wouldn't like it either.
 
If I were a US resident I wouldn't hesitate, get a gun, and aim low.

They never stop at "peeping" and next time it might be a little girl.
 

IMO if the man is sitting in his home looking out of his window I wouldn't consider him a peeping Tom, I would consider him a neighbor looking out of his window. I believe in this situation your neighbor should draw the drapes if it bothers her.
 
Aunt Bea said:
IMO if the man is sitting in his home looking out of his window I wouldn't consider him a peeping Tom, I would consider him a neighbor looking out of his window. I believe in this situation your neighbor should draw the drapes if it bothers her.
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Agree, the problem is the closeness of the houses and the alignment of the windows. Maybe you need some kind of privacy fence or bushy tree. Heck, he may think he is being peeped. LOL
 
This man has done nothing but sit in a window and pet his cat? Is he a perv? Is he a guy that just likes to pet his cat while looking outside?
Has this friend ever introduced herself to the couple? Does she know anything at all about them?

Just on what is laid out it seems that she has decided to become a victim. But a victim of what, an actual threat or her own hysteria.

I am a strong believer in standing up for yourself and confronting your problems.

Is it possible that he thinks she is a perv because she sits in the window petting her cat.

Seems as though with the proximity of the windows, she could just say,"Good Morning, Nice looking cat. My name is xxx, and you are? Maybe sometime when your wife is home we could all get together for coffee."
 
If the man is sitting inside his own home by the window and not exposing himself or making any sort of lewd gesture than I say 'what the hell is your problem'.
If the man is outside next to your window than I say call the police.
this country has gotten to damn paranoid about what other people "might" be doing before investigating whether or not they are.
 
Your replies are very interesting. :) I just wondered if anyone had a real problem with a peeping Tom here I think most members agree with what I told her about not being too paranoid or read too much into it. The man shouldn't be called a pervert because he really hasn't done anything out of the ordinary. I think just living alone she feels vulnerable now with new people near to her but she did meet them both and said they were very nice. She just confided in me as a friend and asked my opinion but if he was on foot peering into her windows she would have immediately called the cops. I told her to relax and who knows they may be good neighbors and friends in the end for the next 20 years then she'll look back and laugh at this
 
I think he doesn't know what to do with himself when his wife is at work. Is he looking into a bedroom or bathroom window? Does he have a view of the front yard from that window?

If it really bothers you, tell his wife. He might have dementia or be handicapped in some other way. I don't think he is a peeping tom at all. If he were a peeping tom, he would be sneaking around outside at night looking in windows when neighbor's lights are on.
 
If she plans on staying in this house long term, planting something that will grow fast of additional lattice fencing is a good idea. Lace curtains allow you to look out but not others to look in.

I had a harasser when I owned a house. He could look right into my kitchen window from his back deck when the apple and cherry trees had no leaves. His house was slightly higher up than mine. He started harassing me as soon as he found out I was a woman living alone. If I walked into my kitchen he would yell out. Why I stayed in that house 7 years I'll never know. And there really is no recourse or protection.
 
Robusta said:
This man has done nothing but sit in a window and pet his cat? Is he a perv? Is he a guy that just likes to pet his cat while looking outside?
Has this friend ever introduced herself to the couple? Does she know anything at all about them?

Just on what is laid out it seems that she has decided to become a victim. But a victim of what, an actual threat or her own hysteria.

I am a strong believer in standing up for yourself and confronting your problems.

Is it possible that he thinks she is a perv because she sits in the window petting her cat.

Seems as though with the proximity of the windows, she could just say,"Good Morning, Nice looking cat. My name is xxx, and you are? Maybe sometime when your wife is home we could all get together for coffee."
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Thank you.
 
Have the lady Google "window covering that lets in light but you can't see through". There is a raft of product out there from window film to specially designed shades and/or curtains. Many apartments lose their privacy if they want the window to let in light. Have her order and install one of the high light/low visibility products and everyone is happy.
 
The friend sounds like a drama queen. Bored man hater perhaps.Last summer I was working in my back yard and a single neighbour woman was sitting in her backyard reading a book. She is a couple doors down and the only obstacle blocking the view is my shed. Well it was very hot and I was sweating up a storm so I removed my shirt. When I entered my shed I noticed her look up and when I came out she had left. I realize I'm not a pretty sight and I'm pretty sure she was offended by my upper nekkidness and maybe she felt I was violating her privacy although I was some distance away. It seemed weird to me. We have never exchanged a word or a wave in the years I've lived here. She used to have another woman living with her and I've never seen a man around. Man hating lesbo?
 
applepie_luvr said:
The friend sounds like a drama queen. Bored man hater perhaps.

Last summer I was working in my back yard and a single neighbour woman was sitting in her backyard reading a book. She is a couple doors down and the only obstacle blocking the view is my shed. Well it was very hot and I was sweating up a storm so I removed my shirt. When I entered my shed I noticed her look up and when I came out she had left. I realize I'm not a pretty sight and I'm pretty sure she was offended by my upper nekkidness and maybe she felt I was violating her privacy although I was some distance away. It seemed weird to me. We have never exchanged a word or a wave in the years I've lived here. She used to have another woman living with her and I've never seen a man around. Man hating lesbo?
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I think I have to go a re-read my original post to get so many colorful replies here, lol. Applepie she just felt a bit weird with the possible suspicion, in no way did she get hysterical over this or can be considered a drama queen. Now to man hater, you really have me laughing at the suppositions, she doesn't hate men at all and has had some very loving and deep relationships with men, especially her husband of many years who she lost to cancer. Since he passed she's been all on her own for the time being.

Now, lets get to your personal concerns. You think this neighbor lady of yours actually went back into her house because you were a couple of doors down and sweating and took off your shirt? You might not be a pretty sight, but do you really think you had anything to do with her leaving? I think you give much more power to your nekkidness than reality allows. :laugh: Yes, if she had a woman living with her she must have definitely been a man hating lesbo. People are either passing around the wacky weed here today or spending too much time celebrating the superbowl with their buddy Jim Beam. :D

Anyway, thank you all for your unique replies.
 
applepie_luvr said:
The friend sounds like a drama queen. Bored man hater perhaps.Last summer I was working in my back yard and a single neighbour woman was sitting in her backyard reading a book. She is a couple doors down and the only obstacle blocking the view is my shed. Well it was very hot and I was sweating up a storm so I removed my shirt. When I entered my shed I noticed her look up and when I came out she had left. I realize I'm not a pretty sight and I'm pretty sure she was offended by my upper nekkidness and maybe she felt I was violating her privacy although I was some distance away. It seemed weird to me. We have never exchanged a word or a wave in the years I've lived here. She used to have another woman living with her and I've never seen a man around. Man hating lesbo?
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"Man hating lesbo"????? You mean people still talk like that? SMH
 
applepie_luvr said:
The friend sounds like a drama queen. Bored man hater perhaps.Last summer I was working in my back yard and a single neighbour woman was sitting in her backyard reading a book. She is a couple doors down and the only obstacle blocking the view is my shed. Well it was very hot and I was sweating up a storm so I removed my shirt. When I entered my shed I noticed her look up and when I came out she had left. I realize I'm not a pretty sight and I'm pretty sure she was offended by my upper nekkidness and maybe she felt I was violating her privacy although I was some distance away. It seemed weird to me. We have never exchanged a word or a wave in the years I've lived here. She used to have another woman living with her and I've never seen a man around. Man hating lesbo?
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Funny how you noticed right away that she wasn't there. Maybe she was being polite and went inside so you wouldn't see her laughing at "a pretty sight".
 
applepie_luvr said:
The friend sounds like a drama queen. Bored man hater perhaps.Last summer I was working in my back yard and a single neighbour woman was sitting in her backyard reading a book. She is a couple doors down and the only obstacle blocking the view is my shed. Well it was very hot and I was sweating up a storm so I removed my shirt. When I entered my shed I noticed her look up and when I came out she had left. I realize I'm not a pretty sight and I'm pretty sure she was offended by my upper nekkidness and maybe she felt I was violating her privacy although I was some distance away. It seemed weird to me. We have never exchanged a word or a wave in the years I've lived here. She used to have another woman living with her and I've never seen a man around. Man hating lesbo?
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Or maybe she went in to answer a phone or to go to the bathroom?
 
She should put up cafe curtains that cover the bottom half of the window, and nothing of interest would be visible.
 
Sounds to me like much ado over nothing. All this man is "guilty" of, apparently, is looking out of the window in his own house. He could accuse her of being a Peeping Tom because she's looking back at him!

About the cat, give me a break. Like the cat really cares about looking out through that particular window.

There are all kinds of curtains and blinds she could use if she was bothered enough by seeing a neighbor looking out of his own window.
 

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