Here in the early morning hours thinking back to our youth

B

Blessed

Well-known Member
Where do we be begin in the beginning, becoming our own person, falling in love for the first time. What a strange and wonderful time it was, To meet a boy that turned out to be the love of your life at 15, to have him become your whole life, To love his whole huge family with out reserve, to know you fit, no questions asked, none needed.

Then 36 years later you have to let it all go when he dies of cancer at 51. WTF, how did that happen so fast, we had already lost so many of the older generation. We did not know death was coming for so many of our generation. I have just been thinking so much of my husband and our youth tonight, times at the lake, all day long, when when we were in our prime.

When I could wear a little turquouis blue bikini againt tanned skin and long brown hair streaming down my back. He thought he was the luckiest boy in the world, he never knew he was the most handsome boy on the beach, muscles tanned from the sun and beautiful long brown hair.

I have posted this to remind each and every one of us were beautiful or handsome in our time. Do not forget that feeling, it was and is a part of the most joy filled times of our lifes. We were there, we had it all in those days. They have passed but if you reach back in your memories it is all right there. Think back and remember, feel the joy!!
 

As a nurse, I met kids, when they were about an hour old. They were individuals right from the beginning. One kid, Bernard, I knew was going to be either a billionaire, or a lifer in prison. I always wanted to find out which, but I only remember his first name. We start out being unique, then life adds layers onto our uniqueness.
 

Blessed said:
I have posted this to remind each and every one of us were beautiful or handsome in our time. Do not forget that feeling, it was and is a part of the most joy filled times of our lifes. We were there, we had it all in those days. They have passed but if you reach back in your memories it is all right there. Think back and remember, feel the joy!!
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My wife had to attend the doctor today, being a little slower than me I turned and waited for her. Just looking at her I was reminiscing how we did gymnastic lifts as part of our rock & roll dance routine. Mulling that over a lady approached us and said, "you two are dancers," she had some concert leaflets for this coming Saturday. Perhaps the lady might be feeling a little better by Saturday. We won't be doing any rock and roll though.
 
I try to think back on my youth as little as possible since I don't remember ever feeling beautiful. When some of those sad memories of the darn past do try to creep back in, I get busy reading or watching tv to get my mind on other things. ("Getting busy" doing housework or going for a walk, etc. doesn't work; I gotta get my mind on something besides the past. That's why physicality doesn't work for me--and I'm sticking to that, lol.)
 
Well said, Blessed.

I spend a lot of my time thinking about that these days. Must be a senior thing. Life was so effortless back then. Has me wondering where all that energy went. Been nice if some of that energy could have been banked for use later in life. But back then 'old' was something that happened to other people.

Arnold
 
@Blessed I am glad for you and others that had good childhood. It truly must be great to be able to look back and see such happy memories.

I look back as well. For me, and others, we did not become the people we were meant to be. Our lives are so scarred by childhood abuse. I don’t want to hurt a happy thread. Just want to acknowledge that we all had different experiences and different memories.
 
For me youthful good looks and the the accompanying memories are a double edged sword. Enormous joy, but the pain was huge as well. They called me beautiful, although I never felt so, men were attracted, some were wonderful,

others ripped my soul to shreds. Certainly, belly dancing helped pay for university, but I am not certain it compensated for some of the other experiences. I try to avoid reminiscing about such things. The stark contrasts leave me sad.
 
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officerripley said:
I try to think back on my youth as little as possible since I don't remember ever feeling beautiful. When some of those sad memories of the darn past do try to creep back in, I get busy reading or watching tv to get my mind on other things. ("Getting busy" doing housework or going for a walk, etc. doesn't work; I gotta get my mind on something besides the past. That's why physicality doesn't work for me--and I'm sticking to that, lol.)
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Yes, @Blessed 's post was beautiful, and it's good to remember some things.

But mostly, I work hard at forgetting the past.
 
Shalimar said:
For me youthful good looks and the the accompanying memories are a double edged sword. Enormous joy, but the pain was huge as well. They called me beautiful, although I never felt so, men were attracted, some were wonderful,

others ripped my soul to shreds. Certainly, belly dancing helped pay for university, but I am not certain it compensated for some of the other experiences. I try to avoid reminiscing about such things. The stark contrasts leave me sad.
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I was never beautiful but for some reason, my sweetheart, thought I was. That is all that counts, met at 15 married at 20. Sorry that the beauty you have now and back then caused you heartbreak.
 
Thank you for starting this thread. Whilst out walking this morning I was thinking about the past and the joys that it bought. Sadly as we are reminded not all our memories are positive ones, hopefully, for those who suffered I pray that they found joy moving forward. We can only live in the now , I try very hard to do that.
 
When I think back and feel any sadness at all I remember the thought ..it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I think that is true. Some have never experienced the joys we had.
We can remember the good times and smile and even look at the bad times and forgive the situation and others involved and forgive ourselves for continuing to allow the experiences to make us sad
 
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I don't look back with any great joy. Some times were good, but they were interrupted by bad things, and 'people' I can never forgive. The best times started when I met the girl who became my wife, 49 years ago. Beautiful? she always will be to me.
Yes, we're getting on a bit, but we're looking forward to even better times and growing old absolutely DISGRACEFULLY!
 
PamfromTx said:
@Blessed

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officerripley said:
I try to think back on my youth as little as possible since I don't remember ever feeling beautiful. When some of those sad memories of the darn past do try to creep back in, I get busy reading or watching tv to get my mind on other things. ("Getting busy" doing housework or going for a walk, etc. doesn't work; I gotta get my mind on something besides the past. That's why physicality doesn't work for me--and I'm sticking to that, lol.)
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I never felt pretty or beautiful until I met my husband to be. That made all the difference. If this handsome boy liked me, I must be special. This was at that strange awkward time in our lifes, 15. We both went from ducklings to beautiful swans. The time in between was sharing all our thoughts, feelings and dreams.
 
Aneeda72 said:
@Blessed I am glad for you and others that had good childhood. It truly must be great to be able to look back and see such happy memories.

I look back as well. For me, and others, we did not become the people we were meant to be. Our lives are so scarred by childhood abuse. I don’t want to hurt a happy thread. Just want to acknowledge that we all had different experiences and different memories.
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I am so sorry you went through that. growing up we did not have money but we had a warm wonderful home. My Dad died when I was 3, but I had a stepdad that was wonderful to me. Trust me, I know I was lucky!! My husband came from the same background
 
NorthernLight said:
But mostly, I work hard at forgetting the past.
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Aneeda72's post resonated with me, as did this one. My own childhood was a happy time until shortly before my tenth birthday. My mother, aged just 33, passed away leaving Dad with four children to raise alone, this was 1956. I was the eldest.

Five years later, when crossing over the road on a pedestrian crossing I was knocked down by a speeding car. It put me in hospital for almost a year. Thankfully my shattered leg was saved from being amputated but the shock of it all and what with mother's death, leaving him to raise his family alone, my father almost died too. An ulcer caused by the anxiety of it all, ruptured. Dad pulled through though, he was made of sterner stuff. In fact he lived until he was 92. For all his human frailties he was my Dad, and very proud of him I am.

That childhood shaped me, we endured hardship and came out of it for the better. I never forget my past, nor do I dwell on it. I like to think that Dad's sacrifice helped all his kids realise how fortunate we all were to have him as our Dad and how his example made us what we are.
 
horseless carriage said:
Aneeda72's post resonated with me, as did this one. My own childhood was a happy time until shortly before my tenth birthday. My mother, aged just 33, passed away leaving Dad with four children to raise alone, this was 1956. I was the eldest.

Five years later, when crossing over the road on a pedestrian crossing I was knocked down by a speeding car. It put me in hospital for almost a year. Thankfully my shattered leg was saved from being amputated but the shock of it all and what with mother's death, leaving him to raise his family alone, my father almost died too. An ulcer caused by the anxiety of it all, ruptured. Dad pulled through though, he was made of sterner stuff. In fact he lived until he was 92. For all his human frailties he was my Dad, and very proud of him I am.

That childhood shaped me, we endured hardship and came out of it for the better. I never forget my past, nor do I dwell on it. I like to think that Dad's sacrifice helped all his kids realise how fortunate we all were to have him as our Dad and how his example made us what we are.
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I can relate to your situation, my Dad died of a heart attack at 36. My Mom did the best she could, she married a man that had to little boys, they had lost their Mom to cancer. The kids were 7, 6, 5 and 4, me the youngest. I loved my stepdad, he was good to me, kind, patient and took his time to teach me how to garden.

When we became teenagers my oldest step brother started running with a bad crowd, drugs etc. My Mom said the child had to go to protect the other three. Stepdad left with his boys. We won't go there, it went very bad for those boys.

We were fine. Mom got her widow and childrens benefits back as my Bio Dad was career airforce when he died. Mom, who left school in 9 th grade, to take care of the younger brothers and sisters, when her Mom died in childbirth. She went back to school. got her GED, went on to the community college and got her AA degree, while working and taking care of two teenage girls. Trust me. we were not one handful but two.

What is not to be admired and thankful for having such a Mom!!

I married at 20 to a boy I loved. We started to date at 15. He passed at 51 1/2 exactly. So were in love 36 years. We only had one son, we wanted more children but God did not send them. Doctors told us we would not have children so we were thrilled when after we tried some treatments we got pregnant with our son!! I still miss him and think of him everyday. I talk to him everyday and hope he can hear me. If we are not united in another, spiritual world someday, I can rest easy knowing his ashes are here and will mixed with mine in our resting place.
 
Blessed said:
I never felt pretty or beautiful until I met my husband to be. That made all the difference. If this handsome boy liked me, I must be special. This was at that strange awkward time in our lifes, 15. We both went from ducklings to beautiful swans. The time in between was sharing all our thoughts, feelings and dreams.
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You were lucky. All of the 15-year-old boys I was around when I was that age didn't seem to like anything other than trying to get someone to buy them beer, get a girl in the back seat of a car, and they really seemed to enjoy bullying too. (What I get for growing up poor around "new" money people; all of the boys had "future frat bro" written all over them.)
 
I can remember my father towards the end of his life commenting that he would look into the mirror, see this old guy looking back, and think “that’s not me!” While the world judges by physical appearance and all but worships youth, flesh is grass, and life is a mist that vanishes. The inner self that you’ve built over the years and which only a few perceive alone persists incorruptible…
 

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