How much did you have to do with the timing of your family?

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
An odd question maybe, with smutty connotations, and aimed at the boys really, if that isn't obvious, (though women's input welcome too!).

However, my wife was twenty one years old when we married, (and twenty six years old when our daughter arrived), and although both of us knew we wanted children when we married, I admit I encouraged her "not to leave it too late before starting our family".

I believe young women today starting their families are on average over thirty years old, and more fertility problems are likely too, though more medical assistance with fertility is available as well, so maybe men/women don't concern themselves as much as I did back then(?). :)
 

LOL - "Smutty Connotations." :ROFLMAO:
Well it does have smutty connotations for my family. It was the second marriage for both my mom & dad. My mom's first (arranged) marriage was in the Middle East & it lasted a month & was annulled. She had a daughter that she left there with her ex & moved to Chicago where she met my dad, who was a successful attorney who had some very wealthy "clients"/mobsters. They started dating & he got her pregnant during one of their many trips to Las Vegas - where he represented other "clients." Back then, around 1950, I guess they had to get married in that situation.
 
Right before my husband and I got married he got drafted. He went into the navy. We married when he was on leave. I was 20yrs old at the time. My Husband thought it would better if we didn't start a family until he got out of the Navy. He served 4yrs and we had our first child right before I was 25yrs old.
 
I was age 20, when my oldest was born, age 29, when my youngest was born, and the timing to start having babies was in keeping with what dear husband and I wanted.

In my parents day, the 1950's and 60's, the only people I knew of (and there weren't many) that had babies later in life were those who enjoyed a surprise, otherwise teen and 20's pregnancies were the norm.

Personally, I wouldn't even consider getting pregnant in my 40's. No thanks to that.
 
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Aunt Marg said:
I was age 20, when my oldest was born, age 29, when my youngest was born, and the timing to start having babies was in keeping with what dear husband and I wanted.

In my parents day, the 1950's and 60's, the only people I knew of (and there weren't many) that had babies later in life were those who enjoyed a surprise, otherwise teen and 20's pregnancies were the norm.

Personally, I wouldn't even consider getting pregnant in my 40's. No thanks to that.
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I know a woman who had one of those surprise babies in her late forties. She thought she was finished with the menopause, but clearly, she was wrong. She wasn't happy about it at the time, but of course loved the child, now grown, dearly.

No way would I have wanted another child in my 40s!
 
Butterfly said:
I know a woman who had one of those surprise babies in her late forties. She thought she was finished with the menopause, but clearly, she was wrong. She wasn't happy about it at the time, but of course loved the child, now grown, dearly.

No way would I have wanted another child in my 40s!
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I had a friend in high-school who's mom gave birth our senior year, one of those unexpected surprises to the family.

Needless to say, that baby was loved like no other, but I do remember my friends mom expressing how embarrassed she was when it happened.
 
Sassycakes said:
Right before my husband and I got married he got drafted. He went into the navy. We married when he was on leave. I was 20yrs old at the time. My Husband thought it would better if we didn't start a family until he got out of the Navy. He served 4yrs and we had our first child right before I was 25yrs old.
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My dad went into the army shortly after he married my mother...it ended up being 7 years before I was born.

I don't have kids, so no planning there, just circumstances. I didn't even get to pick my own wedding date, my mother-in-law decided...
 
I couldn't wait to have babies and got pregnant on my honeymoon. My others were planned and much wanted too. My mother had three unplanned pregnancies and, boy, did we know it!!
 

How much did you have to do with the timing of your family?​


Hmmmm........picture if you would.........horny couples all over the world........ ladies, laying there, waiting all prepared on the baby making bed.......... the men, poised with their stop-watchs, ready to pounce at the precise moment. ;)šŸ˜Š
 
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Were we supposed to ""plan". LOL Our first child was born in 1957, exactly one year from our marriage. I was discharged that same month so there we were - -no job, no home, no nuthin'.
Over the next 5 years we had 3 more kids (I did get a job. btw), built a new home on family land, and 3 years after that (1965) lost my mom, dad, and wife's mom.

Busy times back then but having the kids at a young age (wife was 20 for the first) has been a blessing later in life. They're family but also became best friends and make up our social life as we all aged. Whenever I hear folks speak of late births (in their 40's) it's not so much the birth but the fact that they are in their 60's when the kids hit 20 and are working or still in college. That's the tough part in my mind.
 
I got married when I was 26 going on 27 and my wife was 24. We had our son a little more than a year later. I wanted to wait longer and we were just beginning to think about planning when she got pregnant when we thought she wasn't fertile. We knew we'd have kids in the near future (next couple of years) so it wasn't a complete shock but it was earlier than I wanted it to be.
 
There is an obvious inequality between men and women in terms of the age you might be able to successfully start a family.

An entertainer called Des O'Connor has just died at 88 years old, leaving a sixteen year old son from his second marriage I believe, obviously to a much younger woman, (Des O'Connor had some success in the US I believe, and appeared in Las Vegas for a couple of years they say, so you may have heard of him?).

I wasn't concerned by the age he became a father, but some are. :)
 
My late first husband had everything to do with the "planning" and I had nothing to do with it. I wasn't ready and really if it were up to me, I may not have gotten pregnant at all (I was afraid). But he announced to me that he had impregnated me on that fateful night. LOL One of the biggest blessings I've ever gotten was my beautiful baby, who's turned out to be a wonderful son..
 
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Gary O' said:
Smutty?
Maybe
But
If I'd had more condoms, I'd have had less kids
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A fine excuse, did you have a shortage of rubber at any time, maybe during an oil crisis, cos I never heard it got that bad in the 1970s/1980s when gasoline supplies were a bit tight admittedly(?).

"You sure you were using them the right way up?" :)
 
Ferocious said:
Hmmmm........picture if you would.........horny couples all over the world........ ladies, laying there, waiting all prepared on the baby making bed.......... the men, poised with their stop-watchs, ready to pounce at the precise moment. ;)šŸ˜Š
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Do you know, there was something of that about it, when our child was conceived, (much as you can tell anyway?), so spooky as it might sound, it did bring back memories. :)

However, a mate and his wife used to have fun arguments about who amongst them was most responsible when she got pregnant again. She claimed it was him, but as he said, hinting at his own fecundity, "she released the egg"!

(what I think he was saying was there was never a time when his you know what, ("man juice"), wasn't present),:)
 
grahamg said:
A fine excuse, did you have a shortage of rubber at any time, maybe during an oil crisis
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'twas a heat of the moment thing

I mean, as a preteen, I proudly carried a Trojan around in my billfold until it rotted

As a young married, we got it on whenever we were finally alone
Anywhere
Any time
Seldom the bedroom (where the condom stash existed)

Never did we say.....'wait, I gotta go the the drug store' when the heat was on

Think the kitchen sink scene in Fatal Attraction
 
grahamg said:
A fine excuse, did you have a shortage of rubber at any time, maybe during an oil crisis, cos I never heard it got that bad in the 1970s/1980s when gasoline supplies were a bit tight admittedly(?).

"You sure you were using them the right way up?" :)
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I know I was using them right. In fact, I kept them conveniently tacked to my headboard. And I also wore a mask as backup.
 

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