Husband leaves wife in labour with first baby to play football for the team

Anyway - in my opinion - the guy is a professional football player. The coach probably could have changed the lineup but he was on the play roster. I say he needed to be at the game.

And good on his wife for saying the same thing.
 

Coach Wayne Bennett is very much a family man. I don't believe that there was any pressure coming from him, especially as the Broncos were playing the Rabittohs and they were coming twelfth on the leader board.

His wife has said these things after the event. I would do the same rather than tell anyone that I felt let down but I would feel it all the same.
 
Butterfly said:
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Personally, I think it's all about what the wife wanted at that moment. And if she wanted him at her side, he should have been and if she sent him off to play....her choices. Now if he'd gone to play a stupid game (is my bias showing:playful:) and she wanted him to stay, then in my book, he'd be a less than stellar husband. Whomever is lying in that bed gets to decide.

When my friend was sick and dying in the hospital, she sent her husband off for a weekend because she could see that he was getting frazzled and worn from the effects of her illness on their lives. He went to his buddy's place for a couple days, to unwind and play chess and get his equilibrium back before returning to her side. Unfortunately, she died while he was at Cliff's and he couldn't get back to her side in time. Was he wrong for going, in my opinion no, because she released him, she sent him off. Maybe she knew that her time was imminent and she wanted him to not have to go through it because it was her journey. I don't know about that, but she was in charge because she was the one laying in the bed.
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Over the years, I have been privileged to have been present as a doula in over 100 births. In not one of them, have I ever heard a woman say, "it's ok, honey, you go play ball, I'll be fine," or any other activity, professional or otherwise. I can see it

happening if a woman is a veteran of multiple births, (doubtful,) perhaps, or if hubby has proven himself less than helpful during the birthing process during earlier births, (more likely.) But, a first time mother? Not in my experience, and not in the experience of the three other doulas I

questioned re their experiences. Some questioned whether the husband used the game as a "get out of jail free" card, in order to avoid the birth process. Not all men are comfortable with the nitty gritties of childbirth.
 
We wouldn't be talking about this if he hadn't gone on The Footie Show patting himself on the back for putting the team and his mates first. He was not complaining about missing the birth for contractual reasons. It may have been bravado or machismo but IMO it reveals a certain amount of emotional immaturity. That is the defining characteristic of The Footie Show. That, and stunted intellect.
 
Would the CEO of a major corporation get basted if he missed a child's birth because it was "imperative" he attend a board meeting regarding the company's financial woes?

Football is James Robert's profession, he is very well paid, and it's a relatively short career.

And give his wife some credit!
 
Just my weird opinion, but I don't believe I would *want* a husband in the delivery room. Maybe outside in the waiting room, but then, he might as well go do something productive. Unless maybe you wanted to play the pity card?:confused:
 
Would the CEO of a major corporation get basted if he missed a child's birth because it was "imperative" he attend a board meeting regarding the company's financial woes?
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I can't answer that but I suspect that even a highly successful businessman might make the effort to be present at his child's birth. This footballer is not that eminent and his team is/was not in any danger of losing the match.
 
Cookie said:
If the husband was in in any other kind of work, he would probably have got leave of absence to be with his wife during the birth of their child. Even if he was professional sports player he could have got leave if he wanted to. What is it about sports teams that make them take priority above everything else.

It's not at all selfish to want the husband with you during the birth, since it is both partners' child, shouldn't the father share in the experience. To me it seems like the man is the selfish one, and sexist on top of it, to be out playing sports while his wife is alone and struggling giving birth. In the old days the women often had to face labor alone and with not much moral or emotional support, because men considered it women's business. In fact it is very much like being alone in a cabin in the backwoods if you are with a bunch of strangers during the birth. But since she was with her extended family, she was OK and not complaining, which she probably would dare not anyway, as that would look bad for her husband and his team.
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You are correct many companies would've given paid leave of absence for something like the birth of a child. But the argument in professional sport even though basically year round now a days with practices all year round is that they argue only so many games per year. Unless the professional athlete is at least present to play even if not listed as a starter they aren't doing their job and there for won't get paid-lame argument especially with star athlete salaries. But that's a problem too, individual contracts sort of negate many of the benefits the average employee might get. But those same contracts give the athlete enough financial freedom that they can afford to miss a few games and some money.
 
Warrigal said:
I can't answer that but I suspect that even a highly successful businessman might make the effort to be present at his child's birth. This footballer is not that eminent and his team is/was not in any danger of losing the match.
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Warrigal, I'm glad you don't have intimate knowledge of corporate life. It's cut-throat. When my brother was involved, he was denied time off to attend our grandmother's funeral because he'd already missed "imperative" meetings to go see her in the hospital. That's when he decided to work for a lot less at our dad's (growing) company, which is thriving now.

I still say Robert's wife isn't lying to protect his image or whatever. She's wife of a professional athlete and understands the sacrifices.
 
Wrigley's said:
Would the CEO of a major corporation get basted if he missed a child's birth because it was "imperative" he attend a board meeting regarding the company's financial woes?

Football is James Robert's profession, he is very well paid, and it's a relatively short career.

And give his wife some credit!
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I think whether his coach insisted on his playing in that game or not, this was a personal decision and you're right, it was his job. Putting that aside, we all have different priorities, to some of us the husband being present at the moment of birth would not crucial and wouldn't define his worth as a loving husband, a provider or a good father.

I do give his wife credit, she was surrounded by family and loved ones for the birth of her child, it's too bad her husband is being beaten down for this. Price you pay for being in the public eye I guess.
 
I think her husband is being beaten down for this because many women, and some men, believe his place was at his wife's side. I suspect if men who support his choice experienced the realities of labour first hand, their attitude might change. No one who has not done so, has much credibility IMHO.
 
Shalimar said:
I think her husband is being beaten down for this because many women, and some men, believe his place was at his wife's side.
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What many other people believe is fine for their own situations, but IMO, everyone should live their lives for themselves and those close loved ones who really matter, preferably without criticism and judgment from the public outsiders. Realistically, many men and women (probably even his wife) don't have a problem with his going about his business during this personal time. I don't think it's fair at all to demonize him for this.
 
Shalimar said:
I think her husband is being beaten down for this because many women, and some men, believe his place was at his wife's side. I suspect if men who support his choice experienced the realities of labour first hand, their attitude might change. No one who has not done so, has much credibility IMHO.
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Mr and Mrs James Roberts have total credibility. That's why I take their side.

Wow. Think about all the doctors who miss their kids' births. I'm sure that's more excusable, but it's a lot of missed births. And their wives understand.
 
I remember both my births pretty clearly and I can say categorically, that if my husband hadn't been there, it wouldn't have bothered me a bit. He tried to be helpful as I recall, but I hardly remember his presence at all. I was otherwise occupied:p!
 

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