I am a believer in whatever happens in life is as it should be.

Mr. Ed said:
Ok as it should be and how it was/is are two different scenarios. How do we know how life should be? It seems what should have been but wasn't takes precedent over what actually was. If this is the case then whatever life should have been is at most wishful thinking on our part for a different outcome.
Emotional logic interjects feelings, prejudice and biases that distorts our understanding of life and why things happen or don't happen. Life performs as it is meant to, even though we may not like it, it is the only thing we have to go on.

I didn't say life was fair, I don't think life is meant to be fair because life is not driven by emotions. Life and death are driven by circumstances and events based on the choices of humanity. How many times have humans altered the natural course of life through war, productivity and industry?

Mankind is the catalyst of our demise, life simply puts us together and breaks us down for future generations. There is also a matter of over population that life giveth and taketh away.

Be assured of your ability.
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Meaningless word salad.
 

Mr. Ed said:
How do you feel about forgiveness? I felt I had to forgive my dad to have peace from him. Sometimes I don’t believe he deserved my forgiveness.
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I forgave her, in my heart, where it matters. I forgave her for my salvation, not hers, when I was very young and still read the Bible. I forgave her because I am a believer in God. She has continued to be cruel to me over these many years with many hurtful words. But I take her phone calls, although at one point I tried not to.

It is hard to explain, and you may all think me crazy if you wish, but she was so cruel that last day. I am sure she planned it all out, what she would say, to cause me the most pain. I left, and told her she would never see me again, she never has. And this is hard on me. I am a nice person.

Shortly, after we got in the car to leave, I had my “angel” encounter. 😂 I can, I suppose, tell you all, all about it. It’s not like we personally know each other. Perhaps I was crazy, but I know I wasn’t.

Anyway, a voice asked me “can she go to heaven?” As clear as day, as clear as if some one was sitting in the back seat and we were having a conversation “can she go to heaven?”. As if I had to judge her that very second, and my judgement would seal her fate for all eternity. Crazy, right?

”Yes”. I answered yes, of course. Not a second of hesitation. I have no ideal of what good she has done in her life to outweigh the bad. I know her only as an abused child. I have never seen her through different eyes. I have no right to judge her. So yes, a thousand times yes, let her go to heaven. But, if possible and if I get to heaven, not in the same area. 😂

But, she had no right to demand forgiveness. Forgiveness is not given due to an abusers demand. Forgiveness comes through the grace of God, and she already had that.
 
Shalimar said:
What a horrid ordeal. In my opinion, you survived because of the tenacious strength of your spirit, some of us do, in spite of the hell that was our childhood. Some of the strongest characters are riven with scars.🤗
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Oh Shali you had such a miserable time in your youth. :(

I've also met concentration camp survivors. One was a woman who, after liberation and much psychological therapy, emigrated to Canada where I met her while I was on vacation there. She owned a jewelry store, very popular with the tourists and told me how jewelry making saved her life after the war because it became her therapy, to make beautiful things became the meaning of her life. I credit her with my love of jewelry and my own desire to make beautiful things. But though I am grateful, I wish she hadn't had to suffer so, or anybody else during that terrible time.
 
In youth, since childhood, I learned never be complacent. Don't just let things happen, Organize and Fight Back----with all your heart, with all your soul! Just don't stand there, do something, and as John Lewis, who would have been 81 today said “Get in good trouble, necessary trouble, and help redeem the soul of America.”

What happens to you in life is as it should be is for bystanders.
 
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Mr. Ed said:
Is it ridiculous to wonder what could have, would have happened if circumstances growing up were different? I don't know any life experiences outside of my own. Without mental illness where would I be? What if my family had been different and I actually had a positive relationship with my dad? It doesn't matter who or what I am, life is precious.
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I agree...I also believe that there is a reason we experience what we do. It was 'meant to be' for our own growth and understanding and even as a challenge to overcome. That may sound callous if one has endured violence and other abuse in their lives, but I think there is truth in that idea.
The greatest growth seems to come from the deepest suffering..I never have figured out why that was necessary...
 
Rosemarie said:
All through life we are presented with choices, and our choice determines what happens next in our lives. It's natural to wonder how different life would have been if we had made a different choice. I do it myself.....what if I had chosen to go to boarding school.....what if I had taken that place at college instead of going to Africa.....what if I hadn't married that awful man?
However, I do believe that each of us has a purpose in life, and some have chosen to go through certain experiences.
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Rosemarie... I do the same thing with wondering what if...but then I remind myself maybe 'worse' things would have happened had I taken a different path.:oops: I totally agree we have purpose and therefore opportunity to overcome some weaknesses of our own
 
oldiebutgoody said:
While I agree that life is precious, I cannot agree that whatever happens in life is as it should be. People who have not had a good time in life would generally agree with me. For example, while growing up in New York I became acquainted with several people who survived Hitler's death camps. In discussing their unhappy fates most of them said their ordeals had been so bad and their memories so haunting that they wish they had not survived what they went through.

As for me, I survived years of tortious child abuse at the hands of my alcoholic and neurotic mother. To this day I still cannot understand how I survived my childhood. About a year before she died I told her how lucky she was that she could commit all those crimes against me at a time when child abuse laws were not enforced. I told her that with today's legal standards, if I had children and abused them half as badly as she did to me, I'd be in jail on a charge of attempted murder. I won't be more specific about my childhood ordeal but can assure you that it was worse than anything you can imagine.

While everyone is certainly entitled to their opinion, you'll never get me to believe that everything that happens in life is as it should be. No offense intended but had you gone through Hitler's death camps or a tortured childhood you would dismiss such a thought as nothing more than idealistic delusionalism.
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oldiebutgoodie... I am not disagreeing with you but just curious as to what you think could be the purpose for terrible events, circumstances in ones life....
My heart goes out to all here who have suffered terribly in their childhood and I can not even begin to imagine how one survives physically and emotionally in a death camp.
 
Serenity4321 said:
I agree...I also believe that there is a reason we experience what we do. It was 'meant to be' for our own growth and understanding and even as a challenge to overcome. That may sound callous if one has endured violence and other abuse in their lives, but I think there is truth in that idea.
The greatest growth seems to come from the deepest suffering..I never have figured out why that was necessary...
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I am unable to believe that what I experienced as a child was meant to be, or that it was necessary in order for me to progress as a human being. I am the only one of a stable of fifteen children who survived to adulthood. Then there

were the “disposables,” throwaway kids who met violent ends at the hands of the rich and sadistic chicken hawks who came from abroad. My life was a picnic by comparison. Frankly, I think I would have progressed further had I not been sentenced to a lifetime of battling my personal demons.
 
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hollydolly said:
I could write a book on just how we as children were told to hide what was going on in the home... what would happen to us if we did.. or what would happen to our mother if we did.. after the first time when my brother and I were just 6 and 5 respectively and we didn't know the rules, and we ran to the police station, and the police took us seriously and came to the house, .. and we watched as the lies were told... and the police went away.. and then after they'd gone were learned we were never to tell again....we didn't dare.

my mother took her own life in her 30's and left us kids in the hands of the devil , the youngest only 10... I've never got over her death...

Ultimately when he died in 2008 in his 80's.. I felt only relief, absolute relief, that the world was now free.. that no-one could ever go through horror at his hands or feet.. ever again...
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Oh @hollydolly my heart goes out to you ❤️
I am a Survivor and I have a small medallion on a chain around my neck which is inscribed Survivor
I look at it if I need encouragement at any time day or night
You @hollydolly you are a Survivor too 🤗
 
Shalimar said:
I am so sorry, the favouritism just makes it worse. Gaslighting at its finest.🤗🌺
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That is so true. My mother always favored my older brother. As a teen I told her some day she would regret her favoritism and she eventually did as he became verbally abusive towards her. Then he became an abusive father. They cycle of anger and hate just never ends. This is why I will never be convinced in the mythic ''whatever happens in life is as it should be''.
 
oldiebutgoody said:
That is so true. My mother always favored my older brother. As a teen I told her some day she would regret her favoritism and she eventually did as he became verbally abusive towards her. Then he became an abusive father. They cycle of anger and hate just never ends. This is why I will never be convinced in the mythic ''whatever happens in life is as it should be''.
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QFT
 
I was catching on sports news when I saw this article at ESPN and I thought of this thread right away. Doesn't matter what race or socioeconomic level, child abuse is rampant and generally kept hidden.

A golfer revealed that she was abused at age 7 by a family friend in Sweden.

"This was something I was never going to tell anybody," Sagstrom said Sunday. "It was a story and it was an experience that was deeply hidden within me, and I was never going to share that with anybody, and I just came to realize when I started working with Robert, this has changed me. This has made me who I am today."

https://www.espn.com/golf/story/_/i...om-publicly-reveals-was-sexually-abused-child
 

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