I don't understand? Why do young women love bad guys?

Alligatorob said:
Humans live and have lived in a wide variety of human/family relationships. I suspect the one thing many have in common is a belief that their way is the right one, and others are wrong or immoral.
Click to expand...
The irony is that morality is a construct of culture and so varies across cultures and time. What is considered "right" or "the right way to live" is changeable.
 

Medusa said:
The irony is that morality is a construct of culture and so varies across cultures and time. What is considered "right" or "the right way to live" is changeable.
Click to expand...
Case in point, many of the people on this forum are British or have at least partial British ancestry, me included. How many know how our ancestors lived? To quote the Wikipedia article I cited above:

In The Gallic Wars, Book one, Chapter 14, Julius Caesar writes about the Celts who inhabited Kent in England: "Ten and even twelve have wives common to them, and particularly brothers among brothers, and parents among their children; but if there be any issue by these wives, they are reputed to be the children of those by whom respectively each was first espoused when a virgin."
 
Alligatorob said:
Case in point, many of the people on this forum are British or have at least partial British ancestry, me included. How many know how our ancestors lived? To quote the Wikipedia article I cited above:

In The Gallic Wars, Book one, Chapter 14, Julius Caesar writes about the Celts who inhabited Kent in England: "Ten and even twelve have wives common to them, and particularly brothers among brothers, and parents among their children; but if there be any issue by these wives, they are reputed to be the children of those by whom respectively each was first espoused when a virgin."
Click to expand...
That would be one example, yes, and they are many and varied.

@Alligatorob. On re-read, I'm sounding a little arrogant above. My bad, Alligator. Poor wording.
 
Last edited:
Medusa said:
The irony is that morality is a construct of culture and so varies across cultures and time. What is considered "right" or "the right way to live" is changeable.
Click to expand...

Do you feel it’s possible to have a morality that is not predominantly a construct of culture, but one that mainly, or in part, comes from within? An innate morality perhaps. Or at the very least, one that is influenced by various factors, including genetics, personality traits, and life experiences. With no to very little cultural influence at all?
 
You didn't offend me. It takes a hell of a lot to offend me. Thanks anyway! @Medusa
eta
you also had the choice of just ignoring my comment if it didn't 'fit'. Maybe it's not necessary to comment on every comment like you once ignored a question I posed to you.
 
Medusa said:
@Pepper, I didn't mean to offend and I apologize if I have.
My meaning here is that your comment about my comment was not actually relevant to what I was saying in the comment. ❤️
Click to expand...

I suppose things do get complicated for each and every one of us when reading a forum, and trying to 'interpret' what others are saying. When looking at a computer screen or other devise there is no body language to look at. No facial expression. No voice inflection. And then sometimes the context can be completely lost.

It could be fair to say that in many cases, the only voice & voice inflection that one here's when reading something is their own -- the one of the reader.

UPDATE: We just have to be patient with each other, and then just ask questions for more clarity. Even then, clarity of what was truly in someone mind can be difficult at times to communicate effectively sometimes.
 
Last edited:
Pepper said:
You didn't offend me. It takes a hell of a lot to offend me. Thanks anyway! @Medusa
eta
you also had the choice of just ignoring my comment if it didn't 'fit'. Maybe it's not necessary to comment on every comment like you once ignored a question I posed to you.
Click to expand...
I ignored the question, @Pepper because it was a) a rude question and b) answered within the context of my earlier posts in that thread.
 
Magna-Carta said:
Do you feel it’s possible to have a morality that is not predominantly a construct of culture, but one that mainly, or in part, comes from within? An innate morality perhaps. Or at the very least, one that is influenced by various factors, including genetics, personality traits, and life experiences. With no to very little cultural influence at all?
Click to expand...
I think that morality is predominantly a construct of culture and place in time, but I can't state that it's not possible for some of it to be innate because I don't know that for a fact. (I think C.S. Lewis would agree with your words here).

I don't see morality as being influenced by genetics or personality traits unless it is in the form of certain peoples with certain genetic traits being influential in a culture and thus driving what is considered moral.

Life experiences would be largely influenced by culture, yes?
 
Medusa said:
I ignored the question, @Pepper because it was a) a rude question and b) answered within the context of my earlier posts in that thread.
Click to expand...
That's interesting. You remember. I thought the question was informational, but you were certainly in your rights not to answer, which pretty much gives me the answer.

Can we end this, please? Ennui is setting in.
 
Pepper said:
That's interesting. You remember. I thought the question was informational, but you were certainly in your rights not to answer, which pretty much gives me the answer.

Can we end this, please? Ennui is setting in.
Click to expand...
Again, @Pepper, the answer to your question (which was none of your business to begin with) was nonetheless, answered within the context of my comments earlier in the thread, before your question and again, after your question, had you bothered to look.

I didn't start this, @Pepper, but yes, I'd like very much to end it. ☮️
 
Medusa said:
I think that morality is predominantly a construct of culture and place in time, but I can't state that it's not possible for some of it to be innate because I don't know that for a fact. (I think C.S. Lewis would agree with your words here).

I don't see morality as being influenced by genetics or personality traits unless it is in the form of certain peoples with certain genetic traits being influential in a culture and thus driving what is considered moral.

Life experiences would be largely influenced by culture, yes?
Click to expand...

In a way this might be off topic now, but in a round about way it could be revavant to the topic when trying to develop a better understanding.

How might this be applied to someone who would be considered an 'intraverted thinker': In terms of morality, could a significantly introverted thinker be less influenced by external cultural factors and more likely to rely on their own internal principles and values. They may spend a significant amount of time analysing and reflecting on their beliefs and actions and thoughts, and may be less likely to conform to social norms or expectations of their culture.

Maybe this can vary depending on the individual and their personal experiences and upbringing. That “personal experiences and upbringing” might not necessary be ‘cultural’.
 
I was attracted to bad boys as a teen. They displayed a carefree confidence and usually came on strong initially which was flattering. Took a few guys over several years to learn how fleeting those enticements were.
 
Magna-Carta said:
In a way this might be off topic now, but in a round about way it could be revavant to the topic when trying to develop a better understanding.

How might this be applied to someone who would be considered an 'intraverted thinker': In terms of morality, could a significantly introverted thinker be less influenced by external cultural factors and more likely to rely on their own internal principles and values. They may spend a significant amount of time analysing and reflecting on their beliefs and actions and thoughts, and may be less likely to conform to social norms or expectations of their culture.

Maybe this can vary depending on the individual and their personal experiences and upbringing. That “personal experiences and upbringing” might not necessary be ‘cultural’.
Click to expand...
I think personal experiences and upbringing are culturally influenced because a person's upbringing is being carried out by people who have been influenced by the culture and then pass that along, and the same is true of personal experiences as they will occur with others in the society.

Introverted people might experience the culture in a different way and, as you say, might even be less likely to conform to social norms, but I think overall, they are still products of their society, at least to some extent.

Interesting conversational topic.
 
Magna-Carta said:
In a way this might be off topic now, but in a round about way it could be revavant to the topic when trying to develop a better understanding.

How might this be applied to someone who would be considered an 'intraverted thinker': In terms of morality, could a significantly introverted thinker be less influenced by external cultural factors and more likely to rely on their own internal principles and values. They may spend a significant amount of time analysing and reflecting on their beliefs and actions and thoughts, and may be less likely to conform to social norms or expectations of their culture.

Maybe this can vary depending on the individual and their personal experiences and upbringing. That “personal experiences and upbringing” might not necessary be ‘cultural’.
Click to expand...
I think an ambivert might also be affected in this way.
 
AnnieA said:
I was attracted to bad boys as a teen. They displayed a carefree confidence and usually came on strong initially which was flattering. Took a few guys over several years to learn how fleeting those enticements were.
Click to expand...

Hmmm...?
This kind of moves me on to a different thought. Would you say that there is a fine line for a young woman when 'assessing' a man. In that the line between, say, confidence / excitement, & capacity for uncontrolled aggression (and other) can be difficult for a young woman to see, and perhaps therefor difficult for a young woman to see which side of the line the man mostly resides.

A line that perhaps gets easyer to see as the woman gets older, not just with an existing partner, but when viewing a potential new partner. A better sense of the balance of the man qualities.

Fair to say the same or similar for a young man viewing a woman, but maybe for different reasons.
 
Magna-Carta said:
Hmmm...?
This kind of moves me on to a different thought. Would you say that there is a fine line for a young woman when 'assessing' a man. In that the line between, say, confidence / excitement, & capacity for uncontrolled aggression (and other) can be difficult for a young woman to see, and perhaps therefor difficult for a young woman to see which side of the line the man mostly resides.

A line that perhaps gets easyer to see as the woman gets older, not just with an existing partner, but when viewing a potential new partner. A better sense of the balance of the man qualities.

Fair to say the same or similar for a young man viewing a woman, but maybe for different reasons.
Click to expand...
Sometimes it only takes one thing to see where the balance has tipped when assessing qualities. I was dating Mr. Perfect (see my earlier post) who happened to be married before and still lived in the same house. One day I opened a kitchen cabinet in his house and saw a note taped to the door (in his handwriting) listing household chores to be done and on which days. As I was reading it, red flags started popping up in my head and different scenarios played out. Was she so scatterbrained that he had to tell her what to do and when? Or was he such a control freak that he had to control her, every minute of every day? Is that why he was divorced?
Yes, my "assessment" of his qualities changed dramatically in that instant, just over a note on a cabinet door.

Coincidently, it wasn't long after that when I met my "bad boy" and got my taste of rebel freedom.
 
Magna-Carta said:
Hmmm...?
This kind of moves me on to a different thought. Would you say that there is a fine line for a young woman when 'assessing' a man. In that the line between, say, confidence / excitement, & capacity for uncontrolled aggression (and other) can be difficult for a young woman to see, and perhaps therefor difficult for a young woman to see which side of the line the man mostly resides.

A line that perhaps gets easyer to see as the woman gets older, not just with an existing partner, but when viewing a potential new partner. A better sense of the balance of the man qualities.

Fair to say the same or similar for a young man viewing a woman, but maybe for different reasons.
Click to expand...

The maturity that comes with age and experience improves partner choices for most people. There's a subset that seem to never learn, but I think most do.
 

Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top