I opened my door and...

[dusty]

there she was again today. I was going to the mail room and when I opened my door to go out, there she was, just standing there. I jumped a mile because I didn't expect to see her and I immediately went back into my apartment and locked the door. The police were called and came. They talked with her for over an hour and then left.

I won't do a restaining order as she lives here and an order wouldn't work. I'll be viligent and careful.

 

[Jules]

Too bad the police don’t report back with what she says.

She is 72, but what’s her physical condition. Does she look strong? For some reason I’ve thought you are fit and could handle yourself better than many seniors.

 

[dusty]

No, to the fit part for me. I have arthritis in my hips and have difficulty walking and use a walker. All I know about her is she can walk...nothing else as far as her health.

 

[Fritz]

stay safe dusty. the cops didn't tell you anything?

 

[hollydolly]

A whole hour they spoke to her?.. they must have had some real concerns about what she was saying to them...

 

[dusty]

I have no idea what transpired between the police and her and they wouldn't tell me if I asked. It's all about privacy. I am waiting for the apliciation in the mail for a brand new built place near here.

 

[hollydolly]

I have no idea what transpired between the police and her and they wouldn't tell me if I asked. It's all about privacy. I am waiting for the apliciation in the mail for a brand new built place near here.

OMG I hope you get moved..this woman is too unhinged.. the police talking to her for an hour is a concern... it only takes a few minutes to be told that she's being a nuisance and that she could be arrested if she does it again... so an hour means they must have had a few more concerns about her replies...

here the police tell us what's said by other parties... if we make a complaint about them...

 

[GoodEnuff]

In my personal opinion, for what it's worth (probably not much but...): You need to scare this person! It is your choice to fight or flee. Fleeing only encourages more of that same behavior. It is time to fight.

I would confront her. Go to her door and when she opens it, loudly let her know that she is not welcome in your space and that if she continues in this manner, you will "take steps". Maybe hire an attorney and sue her for everything she has. I would also carry some sort of self-defense weapon. Here it is legal to open carry a firearm. That is what I would do. If you aren't comfortable with that, carry pepper spray and make it obvious that you have it.

You need to make her afraid of you. Time to act.

 

[Paco Dennis]

In my personal opinion, for what it's worth (probably not much but...): You need to scare this person! It is your choice to fight or flee. Fleeing only encourages more of that same behavior. It is time to fight.

I would confront her. Go to her door and when she opens it, loudly let her know that she is not welcome in your space and that if she continues in this manner, you will "take steps". Maybe hire an attorney and sue her for everything she has. I would also carry some sort of self-defense weapon. Here it is legal to open carry a firearm. That is what I would do. If you aren't comfortable with that, carry pepper spray and make it obvious that you have it.

You need to make her afraid of you. Time to act.

Sorry my instincts tell me she will not scare, she is obsessed with something and if confronted in the wrong way may become seriously violent. This reminds me of a lot of the mental patients they released during Reagan I think,. I knew several people like this...stay away as much as possible is what feels right to me. Not running from her, but plan my life to not run into her, except by accident with my car.

 

[Oldeagle66]

You may want to protect yourself. Maybe get a weapon or some form of self defense, even if nothing more than pepper spray or stun gun. Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it. She sounds pretty unhinged and the police won't be always be available.

 

[GoodEnuff]

OMG I hope you get moved..this woman is too unhinged..

If she has access to so much personal information, she will find you at your new place.

 

[January]

I think it is best to not engage - totally ignore her and ring police if she is on your doorstep like you did.

Engaging with stalkers in any way just feeds their behaviour.

 

[MACKTEXAS]

If you initiate any approach toward her, it will diminish your credibility with police. If she appears, have camera in hand switched to video mode which will record anything she says, even if you don't aim it at her to make a video.

 

[hollydolly]

If she has access to so much personal information, she will find you at your new place.

yes but at least she won't be living in the same buidling

 

[hollydolly]

I don't agree with anyone who says to confront this woman... Dusty is disabled, she can't run if this woman turns violent if Dusty goes to her door and the woman attacks... plus the police would look at it that Dusty was the instigator..

best to just not open the door to her... but get into the habit of turning the phone onto video... as she opens her door to go out anywhere ..in case this demented woman is standing out there.. so she can immediately record any interaction

This is a very frightening way for anyone to live...

 

[Sunny]

Is this a continuation of a previous discussion? I have a feeling that it is, so I'm missing a few facts.

Dusty, the first time you saw her standing there, did you say hello, ask if she was waiting for someone, etc.? Or did you just run back into your apartment? Is this a chronic situation?

She could be mentally ill, autistic, or something of the kind. Or could she be waiting to meet with someone, and unfortunately her meeting place is right outside your apartment.

Sorry if this sounds dumb, but your first OP doesn't give us enough information to go on. (Unless this is a continuation of a previous discussion.)

(But I will add that going to her apartment and confronting her would be the worst thing you could do, and possibly dangerous.)

 

[CallMeKate]

I'm with the "don't confront/don't engage" answers. I don't think confronting her or trying to scare her is a good approach. Neither is calling the police every time she steps into the hallway. If she knocks, don't open. If you have to go for mail or something, I like the idea of having the phone ready to video the interaction. You don't want to end up being the aggressor. Did you ever find out how she knew so much private information about you, by the way?

 

[hollydolly]

Is this a continuation of a previous discussion? I have a feeling that it is, so I'm missing a few facts.

Dusty, the first time you saw her standing there, did you say hello, ask if she was waiting for someone, etc.? Or did you just run back into your apartment? Is this a chronic situation?

She could be mentally ill, autistic, or something of the kind. Or could she be waiting to meet with someone, and unfortunately her meeting place is right outside your apartment.

Sorry if this sounds dumb, but your first OP doesn't give us enough information to go on. (Unless this is a continuation of a previous discussion.)

(But I will add that going to her apartment and confronting her would be the worst thing you could do, and possibly dangerous.)

It is a continuation Sunny...from this thread...

Weird visit this afternoon

 

[HoneyNut]

The police were called and came. They talked with her for over an hour and then left.

So the only effect of the police talking to her multiple times is that instead of knocking on your door, she lurks outside your door? That is so creepy. I'm glad you have the option to apply for a different apartment, I hope you get it soon!

 

[Knight]

Since you use a walker confrontation would be crazy. Then there is the police talked to her for an hour & didn't tell you the content of their discussion. I'd want to know why.

Seems you have good cooperation by the police. Maybe if you could get the police to set up a conversation with that woman with a police officer present you could get all the info you need to ease your mind.

 

[CallMeKate]

Maybe if you could get the police to set up a conversation with that woman with a police officer present you could get all the info you need to ease your mind.

... And my own first question would be "how and WHY do you have an entire dossier on me and on my son going back to my childhood years and people I knew back then?!"

 

[dusty]

Thanks everyone for all the comments. They really do help me look at this from all sides. First I have decided not to call the officers everytime she is outside my door. Second, if I move she will know where I have gone as this is a small area and everyone knows everyone. But my new place is ten miles away.

While I am waiting on the new place, I am still searching for another place

that I would tell no one about. I know things can leak out, but a second place will be farther away from here. I will lose some things and gain others in a move but I can accept that as I have moved so many times before. (Secret Service moves about every 2 years in the beginning)

I have had several weapons over the years, handguns but sold my last one, a Sig 9mm and will not get another. I might be dangerous!!

 

[That Lady in PA]

Maybe hire an attorney and sue her for everything she has.

On what grounds?
As far as I know, you cannot sue because a neighbor is creepy.
The OP needs to NOT engage with this person.

 

[Sunny]

Not to make light of this situation as it sounds as if it could be very serious. But wow, what a great movie this would make!

 

[dusty]

Not to make light of this situation as it sounds as if it could be very serious. But wow, what a great movie this would make!

Yeah, it could play off my fear of staying here, the struggle of finding a new place on a limited income, the fear of going someplace new and not knowing if it is any better there then it is here and the fact that nothing I can find near here where all my needs are met (drs, stores ) is affordable.

Great movie if you are a sadist.