Ideal for me

Of course, I didn't say so but while not an expert on the downunder, I did see Crocodile
Dundee, which practically makes most viewers knowledgeable about something. By the way, welcome to the forum.
 

I have a cyber-friends in Perth and friends in Adelaide, and Melbourne, Brisbane, and the Gold Coast, and outside Goolagong. Have known and communicated with them since 2007; one since 2003. Good people, And,
Well I might be a weirdo loner by comparison to them. don't expect too much ;)
 
Im obsessing now. About something at work that is not even worth reporting here. I think because my adrenalin is going, so is my mind.
The problem being I might make this problem worse if I over react tomorrow.
Stay cool Hypo. Long deeeep breath. Iiiiin Ooooooouuut. That's it.
You will stay calm. If you cant add something positive to the conversation, say nothing. Not worth losing your job over it.
And you are a good worker. Whatever she says, she cant paint you as a slacker. because you are careful and you do care. and you are competent. Just don't turn it into a dogfight.
 

New boss doesn't like the way I clean. The faults she finds in my cleaning may very well be valid but why didn't my previous boss pick them up? I had the previous boss for 3 years.The previous boss held my in high esteem as a good cleaner. Now Im suddenly a crap cleaner? its hard not to think this isn't personal. Maybe I should be more a sycophant. Sorry im too old for sycophancy.
 
Mental Health deteriorating. God, if I ever needed you I need you now. I need stability asap. But my mind and emotions are playing tricks. I feel panicked. Im not blaming anyone but myself. Just wish I didn't have to blame myself again either. Yet part of me refuses to accept any blame for this. I remain too stubborn perhaps? Is it ego? How do I remedy this asap? My mind and thoughts are racing. I cant sleep. I don't want this to be a downward spiral. Maybe its time to get some real faith. instead of the fake kind. Maybe its time to finally grow up after all these years of running away. Its like watching a movie with a hopeless main character, and you just cant watch him fail anymore.
 
Has anyone gone to one of those Born Again Christian meetings and faked their renewal? That must have happened surely. Part of me might get some pleasure from doing that. How strange is my thinking and feeling today.
I feel alien to myself today. perverse. Uncentred.
I took 6 decades to get to this point. Why couldn't I get all this immaturity out of the road in my teens. All the angst out of my system.
Some people might get annoyed at me writing like this. I just find it is better to write it out, until it slowly heals. But healing feels a long way away now.
 
I'm not an expert on anything and I really can't offer any advice about even my own mental condition and certainly no one else's. I am rich in good and bad experience. I've been the most low on the pole underling and I've been the boss. Sometime a boss wants to bring in his/her own people and will ride an existing employee holping they might quit. Sometime they go ahead and fire an employee, because of personality conflicts, in which case the fired or laid off employee must find another job. Some things we can not control. Apparently you'll soon find out. Either way it is not the end of the world. Whatever happens we have to keep on keeping on. Sometime it turns out for the better.
 
I Maybe its time to finally grow up after all these years of running away. Its like watching a movie with a hopeless main character, and you just cant watch him fail anymore.

Maybe that running man isn't a hopeless character. Maybe he's been running in a direction he's been stopping himself to actually get to. Sometimes opportunities look like misfortunes when misfortunes can be the life inside you pushing you to take that plunge off the wing of the plane.

Some time ago there was a book (and updated annually) titled "What is the color of your parachute." Maybe it's time to give yourself more credit than you have been doing so far.
 
Winning. Winning or triumphing in debate or even a court case is not quite the ecstatic feeling one had imagined. I say this only from brief experiences of winning in life. winning wears off. it doesnt last.
becoming rich is good for a while. but the joy doesnt last either. being rich just distracts us for a while. and we can becime children again and buy new toys.
Learning to be happy in life with or without success is the key.
im too attached to creature comforts is my problem. I would go downhill fast if homeless.
 
Old fashioned Catholicism. Devotion to Mary. The rosary.
It became tired an cliched for me but i respect people who love it. For them they get into the whole mystery and holiness of it.
We more liberal minded catholics are sometimes made to feel like heretics though.
There is especially a lot of politicking of Catholicism in America. conservatives/Traditionalists versus progressive/liberals. Some of the liberal ones disappoint me as much as the dogmatic right wingers.
They satirise and poke fun at conservatives for being too lifeless. Yet are they necessarily on the "true" path. I dont think so. they might be guilty of diluting their faith to fit in more comfortably with the atheistic minset that is prevalent these days.
 
making good decisions
sometimes we are torn. torn between two desires/responsibilities
example
in a workplace. just started a new job.
in the second week you get called for jury duty. you dont want to lose your job but at the same time this opportunity of a unique life experience rarely comes up. my boss said no anyway. so i caved in to toeing the line to keep my job.
how often do we choose the softer option of toeing the line?
you have to know when to stand your ground and when to cave in. often its a tough call. from experience i know that caving in all the time affects your self esteem. by the same token, standing your ground and demanding your rights all the time might be considered
selfish and even unwise. i just wish life didnt require so much wisdom! 😀
 
If i were to teach again I would be more likely to indoctrinate than teach.
And get fired for it. Because my views now are probably obsolete. Id be going against the grain. Im not politically correct enough to survive in many worplaces either.
 
who is suffering right now?
maybe we dont know what really awful suffering is like.
but that doesnt make us feel any better.
our degree of suffering
even a lot of our suffering is imagined or made worse by our anxious minds.
is it better to focus on others suffering rather than our own?
i guess so. it distracts us at least.
 
i try to write unfiltered. Fact is I am a Jesus freak. And a Christian freak and a Catholic freak. Add to that my politics being conservative and would turn off a huge majority of the world population.
But why should I be ashamed of that?
im not. Im proud of it. But pride is the root of all evil. So better I not be too proud.
Pride causes wars. But if we have no pride, people walk all over us. Pride is a tricky one. We just need to stand our ground and learn to fight fair.
 
And currently a Jesuit Freak. James Martin has got me into this. He really has promoted them.
They are fascinating. So practical and the spirituality is like free therapy. Got sime fresh perspectuves and hidden gems
Now if I could rewrite my personal history i would at least do one of their month long retreats. Visit America and Spain. Get to know some Jesuits .
Im discovering this stuff now. Is it too late?
 
My back is good this morning. i hope its good this afternoon. How can I optmistically look for another job with this back pain?
Pain makes you self centred. But it makes you more understanding of others pain too.
if we never suffer we never know how others who suffer feel. Is it better that none of us suffer? Does suffering have a purpose? Suffering does seem unnecessary sometimes.
 
That injection didn't work. what a shame. oh well. back to the gp. life goes on. pain goes on. but only at work at least.
and talk about work. man. reading the latest meltdown from the boss. it gets predictable after a while. it just causes morale to sink further down. admittedly though some of her meltdowns are justified.
 
When I was younger the boss was always yelling at someone. I used to tell people I'm going to have her job. They of course went to her and told her what I said. She started yelling at me more. I'd turn to the person next to me and say, see, I'm going to have her job. She's really worried now. When I finally quit, she went out and bought me a farewell card. She said a lot of nice things to me in it. I was quite surprised.
 
If God isnt our compass we are screwed. But some of us have an instinctive rather than intellectual faith. Like the humble farmer who lives in nature every day. Or the smiling Dalai Lama. This kind of spanner in the works throws the theologians in a spin. Theologians can be overrated of course.
 


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