I'm becoming a misanthrope

PeppermintPatty said:
I’ve been like this for a long time and only broke free mainly for my husbands sake since he wanted to retire out east. I did the inviting the neighbours over for dinner chit but so glad that was short lived. Some people will walk all over you if you let them.

People suck. I’ve never been a huge people fan but since the pandemic and learning about global warming and what we’ve done to our planet and all the other 82% of species we had shared it with but killed off due to our greed and selfishness, I’m even less of a fan.

In a way I’m glad I’m going soon. This isn’t the world I remember and I’m glad I never had children or grandchildren who have to live through whatever future it holds.

Bah. Humbug. 😂 I even sound like an old bitter woman. 😅
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Everyone is different. With different perspectives on the same thing.

As a young child I was locked in a backyard for three years. So you would think I am bitter towards people. But, surprisingly, no. I learned something from the experience. Maybe because it forced me inwards, made me think, and slow down a lot.

I've found that everyone has a good side and a not so good side. In most work situations, which is where I met most people, I found bitterness, anger, competitiveness, pushy behavior. But, in the park sitting all around me I found people who were calm, relaxed, and happy.

I found if I walked up to someone's door in the evening and knocked they'd open the door annoyed because I interrupted their TV program. But, walking past their house in the evening with them sitting on their front porch they'd wave, say hello, and offer a chat.

So, you see? It is more the situation that you engage people in that often makes them what they present themselves to be. They are all the same people. They and we all have our good and bad sides. We just got to remember that we don't have to hate or dislike someone just because we encountered their bad side. They have a good side, too. You'd like and dislike everyone if you'd look hard enough. And, that's just the way it is.
 

Been There said:
I see it most everyday. People have become more selfish than they were before. Too many people think they are entitled. It doesn’t matter if it’s running a light or a stop sign, or going 90 mph on the freeway. Too many people have the belief that they are entitled to do as they please or get away with whatever they can. There is no respect for the law or other people’s rights.

I have seen people be so disrespectful of others, it makes me ill at times. I live in kind of an upscale neighborhood. About 2 weeks ago, I was walking behind 3 boys (about 15) who were about 30 feet in front of me. There was a small boy about 6 or 7 playing with his cars on the sidewalk. Instead of the 3 boys walking around the little boy, they walked right over top of his cars, stepping on them and breaking some.

I yelled at them and they looked at me and laughed. I thought to myself about what I would like to do to them, but didn’t say anything. I helped the little boy pick up his toys and broken pieces and placed them in the box he had. I reached in my pocket and took out a $5 bill and handed it to him and told him to tell his parents the money is to pay for the broken cars the other boys stepped on.

A lady in the yard saw me do that and told me I should have made the boy’s parents pay for the broken cars. I didn’t know those kids from Adam, so I did what I thought was right and to teach the little boy that not everyone in this world is a jerk.
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You did such a good thing, you put right just one thing in a world full of injustices.
 

Robb.hisself said:
Everyone is different. With different perspectives on the same thing.

As a young child I was locked in a backyard for three years. So you would think I am bitter towards people. But, surprisingly, no. I learned something from the experience. Maybe because it forced me inwards, made me think, and slow down a lot.

I've found that everyone has a good side and a not so good side. In most work situations, which is where I met most people, I found bitterness, anger, competitiveness, pushy behavior. But, in the park sitting all around me I found people who were calm, relaxed, and happy.

I found if I walked up to someone's door in the evening and knocked they'd open the door annoyed because I interrupted their TV program. But, walking past their house in the evening with them sitting on their front porch they'd wave, say hello, and offer a chat.

So, you see? It is more the situation that you engage people in that often makes them what they present themselves to be. They are all the same people. They and we all have our good and bad sides. We just got to remember that we don't have to hate or dislike someone just because we encountered their bad side. They have a good side, too. You'd like and dislike everyone if you'd look hard enough. And, that's just the way it is.
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What an experience, to be locked up like that for three years. So were you rescued and given a new life?
I led a lonely life as a child, having parents who were not fit to be parents - but not as bad as your situation was I'm sure.
 
Been There said:
I see it most everyday. People have become more selfish than they were before. Too many people think they are entitled. It doesn’t matter if it’s running a light or a stop sign, or going 90 mph on the freeway. Too many people have the belief that they are entitled to do as they please or get away with whatever they can. There is no respect for the law or other people’s rights.

I have seen people be so disrespectful of others, it makes me ill at times. I live in kind of an upscale neighborhood. About 2 weeks ago, I was walking behind 3 boys (about 15) who were about 30 feet in front of me. There was a small boy about 6 or 7 playing with his cars on the sidewalk. Instead of the 3 boys walking around the little boy, they walked right over top of his cars, stepping on them and breaking some.

I yelled at them and they looked at me and laughed. I thought to myself about what I would like to do to them, but didn’t say anything. I helped the little boy pick up his toys and broken pieces and placed them in the box he had. I reached in my pocket and took out a $5 bill and handed it to him and told him to tell his parents the money is to pay for the broken cars the other boys stepped on.

A lady in the yard saw me do that and told me I should have made the boy’s parents pay for the broken cars. I didn’t know those kids from Adam, so I did what I thought was right and to teach the little boy that not everyone in this world is a jerk.
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:) You were magnificent, Been There! I'm glad you didn't interfere with the bullies, it would have been fruitless --and dangerous for the little boy as well as yourself.
 
Robb.hisself said:
Everyone is different. With different perspectives on the same thing.

As a young child I was locked in a backyard for three years. So you would think I am bitter towards people. But, surprisingly, no. I learned something from the experience. Maybe because it forced me inwards, made me think, and slow down a lot.

I've found that everyone has a good side and a not so good side. In most work situations, which is where I met most people, I found bitterness, anger, competitiveness, pushy behavior. But, in the park sitting all around me I found people who were calm, relaxed, and happy.

I found if I walked up to someone's door in the evening and knocked they'd open the door annoyed because I interrupted their TV program. But, walking past their house in the evening with them sitting on their front porch they'd wave, say hello, and offer a chat.

So, you see? It is more the situation that you engage people in that often makes them what they present themselves to be. They are all the same people. They and we all have our good and bad sides. We just got to remember that we don't have to hate or dislike someone just because we encountered their bad side. They have a good side, too. You'd like and dislike everyone if you'd look hard enough. And, that's just the way it is.
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:) Yes, easy to judge others, but more productive to look at ourselves critically in the mirror.
 
The unfortunate things that happen. I know this can push one towards anger and bitterness. In my youth a huge loss happened. Loss can send you to a bad place. I have experienced that. It took a long time to realize that loss was going to keep on happening. The only thing I could do was change my attitude about it. Accept it. Integrate it. Enjoy every day for what it brings, good and bad. Others will always disappoint us in some way. We all have imperfection. I rather not dwell on it.
Peace & Love (thanks Ringo!)
 
gruntlabor said:
:) You were magnificent, Been There! I'm glad you didn't interfere with the bullies, it would have been fruitless --and dangerous for the little boy as well as yourself.
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You can teach life's simplest of lessons if we stop and think for a moment. What those boys did was disrespectful. I didn't want that little boy to think what they did was OK. I would have liked to have been a schoolteacher earlier in my life, but once I got into the military, I felt that is where I belong.

I don't have a teacher's degree, but here in Virginia, I could teach as a substitute. They are really hurting for teachers around here. I thought about doing that, but I'm not sure I am cut out for putting up with some of these kids today.
 
I don't know if I fit the description, but I'm losing my patience with people. Like running into someone I used to work with. That I didn't particularly care for. But it was in my interest to get along with them. In the past I would have engaged with them. Been friendly. Now I'm not.
 
Rose65 said:
How do I deal with this process? As time goes on, I am less and less impressed with human behaviour, less inclined to trust anyone and I increasingly value solitude.

The way people behaved throughout the pandemic especially influenced and appalled me. It brought out the worst in so many. That experience has changed me forever, all the panic and fear, especially caused by the media. I switch the news on now and never see anything good or useful.The TV schedule is full of stupid noisy people, it's hard to find anything edifying. So reading books is my best bet.

The word misanthrope increasingly seems appropriate to describe me. I can only tolerate my husband and my dog these days, I don't like socialising like I did. Is it ok and healthy to be like this or is it just part of aging?
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I don't know how to advise you about your feeling. I will say that I have continued to watch World News Tonight (ABC 6:30 p.m.) because, besides loving David Muir, at the end of every broadcast they feature America Strong about Americans or American companies doing something remarkable and heartwarming or Person (or People) of the Week with the same theme. Some of the stories are downright amazing. And at the end of every broadcast, I'm smiling.
 
Rose65 said:
How do I deal with this process? As time goes on, I am less and less impressed with human behaviour, less inclined to trust anyone and I increasingly value solitude.

The way people behaved throughout the pandemic especially influenced and appalled me. It brought out the worst in so many. That experience has changed me forever, all the panic and fear, especially caused by the media. I switch the news on now and never see anything good or useful.The TV schedule is full of stupid noisy people, it's hard to find anything edifying. So reading books is my best bet.

The word misanthrope increasingly seems appropriate to describe me. I can only tolerate my husband and my dog these days, I don't like socialising like I did. Is it ok and healthy to be like this or is it just part of aging?
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I think it's both fine, and not fine. If you are happy and content, it's fine. On the other hand, it's sad to let that social interaction go. My big thing is listening to music, and there was a time when people would visit - or I would visit them - just for the purposes of listening to music. This no longer happens. On the one hand, it doesn't bother me it no longer happens, I can still listen to my music. On the other, it's good to have the company.

We only get to be old once, but I've come to the conclusion that the biggest danger for us old folk is loneliness. Isolation. I'm sometimes lonely. It's not a good feeling. So it's both good and bad.
 
VaughanJB said:
I've come to the conclusion that the biggest danger for us old folk is loneliness. Isolation. I'm sometimes lonely. It's not a good feeling. So it's both good and bad.
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I was very engaged with people and working full time until I retired. I’ve always valued my privacy and I enjoyed the isolation of retirement at first until it became a permanent long term thing. Then I realized that old folks who are single need a mutual support group of local quality friends. But there is no system in place for finding them in most communities.
 
Rose...after i read all these replies..i will venture to say that not all kindness and consideration are lost...
after the passing of my husband this past week..i am certainly feeling the results of no friends...
just me and peaches..our last little dog....
i will need to expand my interaction with people...my daughter is wonderful but i feel it puts considerable worry on her to fill this void...
Life's a chance..
 
Been There said:
I see it most everyday. People have become more selfish than they were before. Too many people think they are entitled. It doesn’t matter if it’s running a light or a stop sign, or going 90 mph on the freeway. Too many people have the belief that they are entitled to do as they please or get away with whatever they can. There is no respect for the law or other people’s rights.

I have seen people be so disrespectful of others, it makes me ill at times. I live in kind of an upscale neighborhood. About 2 weeks ago, I was walking behind 3 boys (about 15) who were about 30 feet in front of me. There was a small boy about 6 or 7 playing with his cars on the sidewalk. Instead of the 3 boys walking around the little boy, they walked right over top of his cars, stepping on them and breaking some.

I yelled at them and they looked at me and laughed. I thought to myself about what I would like to do to them, but didn’t say anything. I helped the little boy pick up his toys and broken pieces and placed them in the box he had. I reached in my pocket and took out a $5 bill and handed it to him and told him to tell his parents the money is to pay for the broken cars the other boys stepped on.

A lady in the yard saw me do that and told me I should have made the boy’s parents pay for the broken cars. I didn’t know those kids from Adam, so I did what I thought was right and to teach the little boy that not everyone in this world is a jerk.
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That was really very sweet. What a nice thing to do.
 
I found THIS ARTICLE on misanthropy that I thought was fascinating. Here’s an excerpt

“There is a drastic difference between being someone that enjoys being alone and someone who could be identified as a misanthrope. A misanthrope might experience some of the following evidences of misanthropy:

  • Lack of desire to participate in social activities of any kind
  • Indifference or even aversion toward emotional things that most people feel in human connection
  • Tendency to be more sensible and practical than most people
  • Rudeness, lack of effort, and bluntness in conversation
  • Feelings of superiority to everyone else
  • Hiding at home and generally abstaining from society
 
Ronni said:
I found THIS ARTICLE on misanthropy that I thought was fascinating. Here’s an excerpt

“There is a drastic difference between being someone that enjoys being alone and someone who could be identified as a misanthrope. A misanthrope might experience some of the following evidences of misanthropy:

  • Lack of desire to participate in social activities of any kind
  • Indifference or even aversion toward emotional things that most people feel in human connection
  • Tendency to be more sensible and practical than most people
  • Rudeness, lack of effort, and bluntness in conversation
  • Feelings of superiority to everyone else
  • Hiding at home and generally abstaining from society
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Seems like symptoms of depression?
 
PeppermintPatty said:
I’ve been like this for a long time and only broke free mainly for my husbands sake since he wanted to retire out east. I did the inviting the neighbours over for dinner chit but so glad that was short lived. Some people will walk all over you if you let them.

People suck. I’ve never been a huge people fan but since the pandemic and learning about global warming and what we’ve done to our planet and all the other 82% of species we had shared it with but killed off due to our greed and selfishness, I’m even less of a fan.

In a way I’m glad I’m going soon. This isn’t the world I remember and I’m glad I never had children or grandchildren who have to live through whatever future it holds.

Bah. Humbug. 😂 I even sound like an old bitter woman. 😅
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Try this.

 
Pepper said:
Seems like symptoms of depression?
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I guess it can be. Several other articles suggest that. It can also sometimes swerve into superiority over others, like everyone else is beneath you so you don’t want anything to do with them.

Misanthropy isn’t a mental/personality disorder like Narcissism or Bi-Polar or Depression. Rather it’s a personal characteristic, the same way folks can be sour or cheerful, humorous or pessimistic. I think though that it can possibly verge into an actual disorder depending on how far you take it.
 
peramangkelder said:
@Rose65 I'm with you and I have a very good photo to share which says it all I reckon
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I love your tagline:
"Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life until you die."
Do you know where it's from?

I think this kind of thing hits us too quickly and it colors our outlook as we struggle to endure these never-ending surprises.
Like Mark Twain said: "Life is just one damn thing after another".
And Dorothy Parker gave it her viewpoint by constantly asking "What fresh hell is this?"

Hang in there everyone, it going to be a wild ride...
 
Rose65 said:
As time goes on, I am less and less impressed with human behaviour, less inclined to trust anyone and I increasingly value solitude.
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You are not alone in these feelings. The quality of business, government, medicine and personal behavior has declined in the past decade. The U.S. population is increasing by over a million each year and our current systems are not equipped to handle this increase but it will likely continue. Half the people want unlimited immigration and the other half wants unlimited unwanted babies to be born. Both of these increased population groups will require services the country is not equipped to provide and these groups will be ill equipped to improve the situation themselves.
 
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