Incident At The Thrift Store. (gender identity.)

Remy

Remy

Well-known Member
Location
California, USA
Got another one: Went to a couple thrift stores today. The animal benefit one and the little one in town. Both are all volunteer with good prices.

I was at the one near downtown and a guy walks in with a bigger dog. The volunteer behind the counter asks if it's a therapy dog "sir." And the individual responds "yes and I'm not a sir." Individual goes down an isle, comes back and another volunteer asks if the dog is a therapy dog and again answers "yes." in a not nice tone. Then this volunteer states "we require masks sir." to which this individual, who mind you has a beard, states something like "I'm leaving this is garbage, I'm not a sir. I'm non binary."

Seriously WTF here. This is where the trans/non binary/whatever lose me. Someone walks in with a beard, a dog, no mask and then plays victim when it all didn't go their way.

I was glad he left but was done being there, payed for my 25 cent cute pot holder and left. I did tell the volunteer some people love to be the victim. I know, my mother did.
 

Irwin said:
The appropriate response to the yada-yada while yada-yada was leaving would be: See ya, wouldn't want to be ya.

Some people are just miserable and they try to make everyone else miserable.
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I think that's true. I'm not the most upbeat person but I sure do enjoy thrift shopping and I don't know why someone would want to act this way instead of having fun looking around at the thrift store. I think they go around looking for stuff like this.

They may be on a trans forum right now complaining about their experience, just like I'm writing it now.
 
The non-binary thing doesn't make sense to me. My daughter was referring to someone as "they". I said, wait a minute, are we talking about one person or two. She said "they are non-binary, so one person."

I asked what that was, and she said, "they identify as neither male nor female." Okay, fine. If she invites a non-binary friend over, I will be polite and make sure I don't screw up the pronouns.

One of my daughter's college professors was non-binary. He looked like a man. He wasn't transgender. I guess I'll go with the dictionary definition: Neither identifying as entirely female nor entirely male. Okay, that's just fine with me, but I don't grok it.

I was lucky to meet a guy in college, who became a good friend, and who was planning to get transgender surgery in Sweden (if I recall correctly). He had to take hormones first, and it was kind of difficult to get used to him looking like a woman. He explained everything to me in detail, including how he felt. So I understood that. We lost touch when he left for Sweden. It helped that I had read Christine Jorgensen's book about her sex reassignment surgery a few years after it was published.
 
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It’s gotten so hard to play the game when the rules and the playing field keep changing. Some people actually thrive on conflict, and enjoy staging confrontations. It can be really hard to avoid stepping on someone’s toes, especially when they are metaphorically wearing clown shoes...
 
I don't get it and don't care to. I still think that what you are born with is what you are. Just my opinion and everybody has one. I travel in a very small and old circle who have the same thoughts I have. We respect everybody's opinions and will not bother you with ours.
 
I don't understand this either, but I do try to call folks what they want to be called. However it is hard not to use either the male or female pronouns.
Lee said:
I suppose the safest way today is to not use any pronoun at all in addressing a stranger.
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Not sure I can go that far.

Anyone with a beard has to get used to being called by male pronouns, by strangers especially. And by me in particular.
 
senior chef said:
I don't buy into that non-binary thing. OR the whole transgender thing.
We are what our DNA says we are. No more, no less.
What is the next goofy idea ? "I am not human. I am a Martian!"
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Well, I think it's that they feel like whatever they say they are, rather than a DNA thing.

I have always felt like a female, and my DNA agrees. I would not want to be a person who thinks (feels, believes, whatever it is) that she is a man trapped in a female body, or who identifies as neither male nor female. That would freak me out.

If someone told me that s/he identified as an alien, I'd be worried about them because something is not right. My ex-husband thinks a large percentage of aliens walk among us, disguised as humans. He has believed that for decades. If I told him that I am an alien, he might even believe me. :) Except I wouldn't be able to change into my alien form.
 
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senior chef said:
I don't buy into that non-binary thing. OR the whole transgender thing.
We are what our DNA says we are. No more, no less.
What is the next goofy idea ? "I am not human. I am a Martian!"
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I now identify as a indoor cat. I expect all my needs to be met, free housing, food, toiletries and medical. Someone should be there to clean up after all my messes. I will do what I want, when I want and no one can stop me. My worst consequence will be "NO!" That's all.
 
ah come on people,we know there are some out there that no matter what they will be azz holes even if given a golden rainbow....so suck it up!
 
Fyrefox said:
It’s gotten so hard to play the game when the rules and the playing field keep changing. Some people actually thrive on conflict, and enjoy staging confrontations. It can be really hard to avoid stepping on someone’s toes, especially when they are metaphorically wearing clown shoes...
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Absolutely. This person made a scene to make it all about them. This little shop is staffed with all older volunteer (mind you) women. I don't think I've ever seen a man volunteer there in 25 years of going to this shop.

So this person was entitled to make a scene with people of whom they have no idea what they may be going through. They were also wearing some kind of large straw hat, probably well over 30 and yeah a beard. I didn't do a big stare.

My mother loved making scenes about her accent. I'm sorry, she did so I've seen this behavior before. And while I can make no claims of any mental issues this person may have had or not, their behavior was very familiar to me. I wonder if some of this non binary and gender fluid garbage is a goldmine for those that are looking to play the victim and as a white male (as this individual clearly appeared to be) it's something they can grab onto. Say something against it and you're the problem.
 
Remy said:
Got another one: Went to a couple thrift stores today. The animal benefit one and the little one in town. Both are all volunteer with good prices.

I was at the one near downtown and a guy walks in with a bigger dog. The volunteer behind the counter asks if it's a therapy dog "sir." And the individual responds "yes and I'm not a sir." Individual goes down an isle, comes back and another volunteer asks if the dog is a therapy dog and again answers "yes." in a not nice tone. Then this volunteer states "we require masks sir." to which this individual, who mind you has a beard, states something like "I'm leaving this is garbage, I'm not a sir. I'm non binary."

Seriously WTF here. This is where the trans/non binary/whatever lose me. Someone walks in with a beard, a dog, no mask and then plays victim when it all didn't go their way.

I was glad he left but was done being there, payed for my 25 cent cute pot holder and left. I did tell the volunteer some people love to be the victim. I know, my mother did.
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I had a similar incident with a patient at work. I think it's unfair for them to expect us to just know what gender they identify with if it's a woman and they clearly appear to be male. Not our fault. I woulda told him that maybe he should have t-shirt that says "I'm an it thankyou!" At least give us an assist since we're not effing mind readers. Last time I checked I was NOT Madam Cleo.
 
MarciKS said:
I had a similar incident with a patient at work. I think it's unfair for them to expect us to just know what gender they identify with if it's a woman and they clearly appear to be male. Not our fault. I woulda told him that maybe he should have t-shirt that says "I'm an it thankyou!" At least give us an assist since we're not effing mind readers. Last time I checked I was NOT Madam Cleo.
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If I had something like that go down at work where I got hauled into the office or something and berated there is a really good chance, with my history of abuse in childhood, that I'd completely lose my sh*!. Up side, I'd probably get mental health disability for a year. After losing my job of coarse.
 
Remy said:
If I had something like that go down at work where I got hauled into the office or something and berated there is a really good chance, with my history of abuse in childhood, that I'd completely lose my sh*!. Up side, I'd probably get mental health disability for a year. After losing my job of coarse.
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all we could do was apologize and leave. in food service they don't give us that information so it wasn't our fault. *shrugs* he's an old man himself and he was in a wife beater and slacks. no boobs or dress or earrings, pearls and lip stick like the day I saw him at the store so I didn't even know it was him till he turned on us. LOL!
 
The behaviour of that person could be part of the conversation in the recent topic here about why people are nasty to others, they enjoy this.

Another point, if there‘re other people in the store, the scene this person is creating can distract others for shoplifting purposes.
 
Remy said:
Got another one: Went to a couple thrift stores today. The animal benefit one and the little one in town. Both are all volunteer with good prices.

I was at the one near downtown and a guy walks in with a bigger dog. The volunteer behind the counter asks if it's a therapy dog "sir." And the individual responds "yes and I'm not a sir." Individual goes down an isle, comes back and another volunteer asks if the dog is a therapy dog and again answers "yes." in a not nice tone. Then this volunteer states "we require masks sir." to which this individual, who mind you has a beard, states something like "I'm leaving this is garbage, I'm not a sir. I'm non binary."

Seriously WTF here. This is where the trans/non binary/whatever lose me. Someone walks in with a beard, a dog, no mask and then plays victim when it all didn't go their way.

I was glad he left but was done being there, payed for my 25 cent cute pot holder and left. I did tell the volunteer some people love to be the victim. I know, my mother did.
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There are (use whatever you'd like) people in every group. Unfortunately, they're the ones who give the entire group, whatever the group, a bad name.
 
WheatenLover said:
Well, I think it's that they feel like whatever they say they are, rather than a DNA thing.

I have always felt like a female, and my DNA agrees. I would not want to be a person who thinks (feels, believes, whatever it is) that she is a man trapped in a female body, or who identifies as neither male nor female. That would freak me out.

If someone told me that s/he identified as an alien, I'd be worried about them because something is not right. My ex-husband thinks a large percentage of aliens walk among us, disguised as humans. He has believed that for decades. If I told him that I am an alien, he might even believe me. :) Except I wouldn't be able to change into my alien form.
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Aliens look just like humans with a slight change to a simple feature.; so, you shouldn't have a problem. I learned that from Star Trek. LOL
 
Nope! I never did and never will buy into all this "HEY! World, look at me; I'm trans-gender and you better like it or ELSE! Seems to me the media is really promoting this new "aspect/problem" of our society. You can be what you want but I don't want you shoveling it into my face! Having a parade to promote your life style does noting for me as far as respect for your lifestyle. You live your life and I will live mine. That's what I call freedom!

Also, I wonder about seeing more and more dogs in stores. I wouldn't be surprised if we start having dog restaurants where you are eating your burgers and fries and at the next table some dog is slobbering up his plate. This could happen because many people are just too afraid to protest anything. I guess protesting dogs is politically incorrect?
 
Packerjohn said:
Nope! I never did and never will buy into all this "HEY! World, look at me; I'm trans-gender and you better like it or ELSE! Seems to me the media is really promoting this new "aspect/problem" of our society. You can be what you want but I don't want you shoveling it into my face! Having a parade to promote your life style does noting for me as far as respect for your lifestyle. You live your life and I will live mine. That's what I call freedom!

Also, I wonder about seeing more and more dogs in stores. I wouldn't be surprised if we start having dog restaurants where you are eating your burgers and fries and at the next table some dog is slobbering up his plate. This could happen because many people are just too afraid to protest anything. I guess protesting dogs is politically incorrect?
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I know a transgender woman who had gender confirming surgery several years ago. At that time it cost her $75,000, uncovered by any insurance. She was a working woman -- not independently wealthy.

1. Who would undergo surgery to *******s, hips, face, and who knows what else just to make a point?

2. Who would spend that type of money just to make a point?

The point I'm trying to make is that for people to undergo this sort of thing, it has to be real. That doesn't mean that there aren't jerks out there, but for many this isn't in the least bit easy.
 
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