Interesting Situation

oldman

oldman

Well-known Member
Location
PA
I was up in the air about posting this issue because I do not want anyone to think that I am bragging. Both my wife and I have done very well financially over the years, plus I also inherited a sizable amount of money from my parents after they had passed away and then when my Uncle died, he also left me a small inheritance.

So, we own our main home here in Pennsylvania and also maintain another home in Florida that we fly back and forth to whenever the urge hits us to do so. We get free travel on United because I am retired from there as a Captain.

Now, the question. My wife and I were down in Florida just two weeks ago and we had a day with absolutely nothing planned or anything to do, so we decided to go to some open houses (it was on a Sunday), just for the heck of it. We found a real beauty that the both of us thought maybe we should consider buying it. It is not cheap, but it is a quality home and sits on its own beach with a small boat slip. (I always wanted a boat.) It also has its own patio pool.

Financially, we could swing it with no problem. It would be a cash deal. I hate making payments and paying interest. My question is that since we would be using a sizable amount of cash to purchase the home, do you think that we should sit our two kids down and explain to them exactly what it is we are buying and where the money is coming from? After all, it will affect their inheritance, but with the purchase being real estate, it should actually go up in value. However, after what happened in 2009, no one can predict the future and say with 100% certainty that it won't happen again.

What do you think? BTW, my wife brought this up and she believes that we should discuss this with the kids, but I say no. It's our money and we should do what we like with it. It hasn't caused a rift between us, but neither of us wants to budge from our opinion.
 

By all means discuss the purchase with your kids...would you be selling your second home in favour of the third property?

..however I see no need to explain to the ''kids'' where the money has come from,. but of course you can't keep a house purchase hidden from them so you if it was me I'd just casually mention that you'd invested in a new property..which of course will be left to them in the will...

At the end of it all, we work hard all our lives , and if we're lucky enough , we have a decent financial cushion..then we spend ( unintended pun).. all the rest of our time worrying about not spending it or spending it thriftily, in case it upsets the kids...or in case we don't leave enough for the already cushioned kids.

It's very likely you and your wife provide for your adult children whenever possible even now, so IMO...you should continue doing what makes you happy with YOUR money , without feeling you owe anyone , an explanation..
 
I don't think that it is any of your children's business how much money you have or how you choose to spend it.
 

Never been to Florida (Never been to the Sates, come to that!) but from what I understand you have to share it with too many Brits!

Having said that, it seems a good place to ski (Nothing to do with snow - Spend the Kids' inheritance!)
 
I don't think it would be a bad thing to discuss with the kids. I'd discuss with my son. It's not like they have veto power, but if they had some legitimate concerns, it would be good to hear & consider them
 
I doubt I would want or expect a discussion. Hopefully they aren't sitting around waiting for their inheritance to the extent they expect you to let them tell you how you can spend their money in the meantime.

Maybe you could present it as a fait accompli.
 
I'm just speaking from my own experience but my dad and his wife are in a similar situation as you and your husband and I would never expect any explanation on how they spent their money. It's their money, they earned it, not I, so I'm happy when they spend it on things which makes their lives a better one. I am sorry that it has caused a rift between the two of you and wish you luck in resolving that.
 
Absolutely buy the house if you want to. There's no need to get your children's "permission" on how to spend your own money.

I have friends who recently gave their beachfront property to one of their two adult children. (The other one will get their city condo when they die.) Their children are extremely happy and grateful for the gift, which probably means a lot more to them than just having a little more cash in the bank.

Your children would probably like to see you and your wife enjoying your new vacation home, and they can always sell it afterward if they don't want it. I'm not clear on whether this would be a replacement for your current Florida home, or in addition. If the latter, why would you need two homes in Florida?
 
I agree with those who say "no." It's none of the children's business how you spent your hard earned dollars. You do not owe your children any inheritance at all -- it's your money, you worked for it, and you deserve to spend it as you wish.

I would have been quite shocked if my parents had had such a discussion with me, and I would have wondered if they thought I was a vulture waiting around for them to die off so I could get their money. I think it's a bad idea to bring them into the financial discussion and you certainly do not need their permission.

How would you feel if they said it was a terrible idea and they didn't want you to diminish their inheritance??
 
I agree with the others here about not feeling obligated to tell your kids or get their approval. You've given so much to them already, in your golden years it should be 'me' time for you and your wife. If it feels good, do it and enjoy! Whether you buy the house (and it sounds great!) or not, the children will benefit from it.....think of yourself and your wife for now. :love_heart:
 
Your money your decision to discuss with your children. Only you and your wife know what to expect from them as a response. Since that seems to be of some concern otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it, the true concern is to be fully on the same page with your wife.


Not covered in other posts this concern
Quote
"after what happened in 2009, no one can predict the future and say with 100% certainty that it won't happen again."


I'm guessing that was a hurricane that wiped out a lot of property. Insurance to cover home & content to full value should take care of that.


The reason some people look forward to retirement is because they were able to plan for what they wanted to be able to enjoy before taking the dirt nap. A home you enjoy, a boat to enjoy, and spending time with your wife enjoying life as you planned for is there for you. Do it.
 
If it was my parents and we adult children, I'd say definitely discuss it, because we have that kind of relationship. We wouldn't be thinking about how does this affect us personally. But that's us. And because I have no way to know what kind of relationship Oldman has with his children and the children with each other, I don't think I can definitely suggest what they should do.
 
Knight said:
Your money your decision to discuss with your children. Only you and your wife know what to expect from them as a response. Since that seems to be of some concern otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it, the true concern is to be fully on the same page with your wife.


Not covered in other posts this concern
Quote
"after what happened in 2009, no one can predict the future and say with 100% certainty that it won't happen again."


I'm guessing that was a hurricane that wiped out a lot of property. Insurance to cover home & content to full value should take care of that.


The reason some people look forward to retirement is because they were able to plan for what they wanted to be able to enjoy before taking the dirt nap. A home you enjoy, a boat to enjoy, and spending time with your wife enjoying life as you planned for is there for you. Do it.
Click to expand...

There was a global financial crisis in 2008-2009... stock market plummeted, government bailed out banks, mortgage bubble burst, etc.
 
Why would you want two homes in Florida? That seems impractical, but by all means keep your children informed about your financial dealings, I think that is a good idea.
 
I can't see why it would be any of their business. Go ahead with your plans.

If you bequeath anything to them, it's a gift, not an obligation.

Since your wife feels a need to discuss your finances with your children with regard to your gift to them, makes me think she feels obligated to them somehow.
 
No, it's none of their business because it's your money, not theirs. It could start more problems in the future. If you discuss it with them now, they may expect you to discuss all financial decisions after this with them later on.
 

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