Interpreting American waitress lingo at diners…

F

Fyrefox

Well-known Member
I’m an American diner patron kinda guy. I like their prices as compared to the trendy places, the atmosphere is more relaxed, and the brown gravy is to die for! I feel more comfortable eating there as a single than I would at other places frequented by couples. I don’t want to stand out, I just want relief from my own cooking… 😫


It’s just that a good percentage of the waitresses at such places will call me “Honey,” a label I tolerate with a mixture of annoyance and bemusement. I’m no linguist, but I’ve noticed that waitresses at such places can refer to female patrons as “Sweetie,” whereas guys are often called “Honey.” Now, in waitress-lingo, is “Honey“ code for “Old Coot?” Or are they just being “folksy?”🤔

I guess that either label is preferable to being referred to as “you guys,” a collective reference I’ve received when dining with another. This is used in the format of, “What can I get you guys?,” even if the company is of mixed gender.

So how about yourselves? What do waitresses/waiters call you in your neck of the woods? I guess I don’t care, as long as they keep the brown gravy flowing… 😸

IMG_2483.jpeg
“Alright Honey, what can I git ‘ya?”
 

I like a bit of friendly social interaction and banter. In general staff are friendly and helpful. I dislike "The thousand yard stare" that a lot of staff in bigger places quickly develop. Where they can walk across a whole room without making eye contact with anyone, lest they have to do some work. I've been known to walk out if I don't at least get a friendly greeting. The lingo itself is pretty generic here in a tourist type seaside town with a lot of changeover.
 

Fyrefox said:
So how about yourselves? What do waitresses/waiters call you in your neck of the woods? I guess I don’t care, as long as they keep the brown gravy flowing…
Click to expand...
My neck of the woods is apparently the same region as yours. I'm called "hon" and I can't say I'm thrilled with it. But it's better than "ma'am." Men around here are called "honey" at a lot of places. I guess what I prefer would be no endearment name at all... but if someone feels the need, I'd have to choose "dear." The only one that really rubs me the wrong way would be "sweetie"... that just feels too personal.
 
I've eaten at diners more than many have to the point that my father and I and my sister would've been considered regulars.

I consider what they call me something that they worked out to help them deal with hundreds of strangers a day. They aren't even thinking about it.
 
I never gave it a second thought. Some waiters and waitresses know me by my first name and some know me as a former state Trooper and call me “Officer,” which is incorrect, but who cares? Not me.
 
I find it endearing to be called "Hon" or "Honey" even if it's fake and meant to generate bigger tips. One salutation that kinda bugs me is, as noted above, the question, "What can I get you guys?" Rather impersonal, but not the end of the world. These salutations usually come from younger servers whereas the "hon" thing often comes from servers a bit longer in the tooth.

Of course, there are some female servers who like to display some cleavage, which is also designed to generate bigger tips. Not a bad idea, especially in a diner. That works mo betta than "hon" most of the time. Well, maybe not for women.

I miss the diners of New England, where I lived and worked some 50 years ago. That's where you can always get a good cuppa joe and play the in-booth jukeboxes. If you can recognize the tunes, that is. I'm sure they've changed by now.
 
Another couple thoughts on "lingo".

I worked in a couple of family restaurants along the way -- back before they had the electronic thing and servers actually had to write the order ticket and call it in on the intercom.

"Big Boy on two." That means two Big Boy burgers, one for each of two patrons.
"Big Boy combo on two." Two BB burger combos, one for each of two patrons.

The infamous "wreck 'em" -- scrambled eggs.
Cowboy cook Kent Rollins came up with a great one -- "cackleberries" meaning just the eggs themselves.
Speaking of berries, "whistleberries" -- baked beans. (You know where the "whistle" part comes in.)
"Home fries on two, and make 'em cry." Two orders of home fries with onions.

You can still hear this type of stuff in diners, but not so much in the modern gizmo-oriented restaurants. I think we've lost something. Electronic devices kinda do that to us.
 
There's a woman in my community who originated in Seattle, spent years in Alaska, and finally immigrated to Canada (specifically out west, British Columbia). I know her socially a little. She's just a generally a friendly, breezy person... clearly intelligent too. Fun-loving smile. In the café, she's always said, "What can I get ya, Honey?" That always conveys a genuine warmth, I thought.

I don't think it means "Old Coot" at all.

However, I was in the café once with a rather strait-laced male school teacher, and she greeted him with a mild "Hiya, Honey". He couldn't interpret it at all. He was visibly stunned, at a loss. He's a good friend of mine... I was kind of embarrassed for him but had to stifle a chuckle.😏
 
Last edited:
It was so long ago, but our crew would eat at a dinner regularly. We all were Buddhist monks, and paid often with our church check...it had a little Buddha icon on it. We were treated like a crew of laborers would be. "Hey guys, the usual?" Eat maybe chat a little. Then "Thanks" and "see ya". I loved to eat there. Off the grill Burger and fries.
 
Now in the American South, you’ll get “You all” a lot, as in “What are y’all having?”

Oy makes a good point about the thousand yard stare. I find that generally the bigger the restaurant (especially if a chain or franchise), the more robotic and depersonalized the server. Some you will not see between the time that you order, food is brought, and the check arrives…

IMG_2489.jpeg
(Servers of old!)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top