Is age respected anywhere in the world anymore?

Michael Z

Michael Z

Senior Member
Location
Northern Wisconsin
I was in a grocery store in a large city recently and bought 3 items. A bag of carrots, a bag of spinach, and a case of water. I was holding all 3. A young couple got ahead of me in line and saw me holding all these items with no cart. They did not let me go ahead of them. Not a big thing, and I really don't look like a crippled old man, but still, it surprised me that they did not let me go ahead given I was holding all those items and I could have checked out in a few seconds.

I remember visiting Poland in the mid 80's and whenever an older person boarded a bus, multiple people got up to surrender their seat. Not sure if it is still like that there, or anywhere.

I know I experienced ageism when I was community college instructor. Our college preached and preached about respecting diverse groups, and truthfully, neither myself or other instructors discriminated in any way, nor did I note students showing discrimination, EXCEPT for students not respecting age. Yet, we never heard one word in our All Faculty Duty Days or in communications directed at students regarding ageism. It is the one form of discrimination that is ignored.
 

I think you're being passive-aggressive about your grocery experience. You have no right to expect to jump a line. If it were a problem for you, use a cart or a basket that you could put on the floor. You could have asked, but if you did, the answer might be 'no.' You imply that you asked when you said: "They did not let me go ahead of them........... it surprised me that they did not let me go ahead given I was holding all those items and I could have checked out in a few seconds." I think you're viewing this all wrong. Yeah, it would have been nice, but you shouldn't feel people don't respect you if they don't do it your way.

I once let a woman get ahead on line. She ended up being the last customer, as the register broke down AFTER her, leaving me to find a new line to wait half an hour more on. I say 'no' to line jumpers and their expectations. Sometimes I've heard people actually scream & curse if they're not let in. It's spoiled behavior.

People have occasionally offered me a jump ahead. I'm grateful & surprised, as it was UNexpected.
 
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In our rural area, I see several examples of younger people treating Seniors nicely. They hold a door at the store, and often allows Seniors to move ahead at the checkouts...especially if the elder person has only a few items. I guess a lot depends upon the area you live in....city folks aren't nearly as "kind" as our country folks.
 

Don M. said:
In our rural area, I see several examples of younger people treating Seniors nicely. They hold a door at the store, and often allows Seniors to move ahead at the checkouts...especially if the elder person has only a few items. I guess a lot depends upon the area you live in....city folks aren't nearly as "kind" as our country folks.
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I have found that to be totally Not True and I live in the biggest city in the country. People treat me really, really well. However, I do not expect. I'm not entitled because I'm old.
 
I think it is a case by case basis....
and nothing to do with the size of area ..... some people are very helpful and respectful of other people and some simply are not .... most likely shaped by how they grew up or past experiences...
I will usually let anyone who is holding a few items .. case of water can be heavy....... go first ....
but some people honestly are oblivious to those around them "too busy being busy" is what i call it ...
where they either think what they are doing is more important or the few minutes was going to stop them from whatever they are doing next...
 
Michael Z said:
I was in a grocery store in a large city recently and bought 3 items. A bag of carrots, a bag of spinach, and a case of water. I was holding all 3. A young couple got ahead of me in line and saw me holding all these items with no cart. They did not let me go ahead of them. Not a big thing, and I really don't look like a crippled old man, but still, it surprised me that they did not let me go ahead given I was holding all those items and I could have checked out in a few seconds.

I remember visiting Poland in the mid 80's and whenever an older person boarded a bus, multiple people got up to surrender their seat. Not sure if it is still like that there, or anywhere.

I know I experienced ageism when I was community college instructor. Our college preached and preached about respecting diverse groups, and truthfully, neither myself or other instructors discriminated in any way, nor did I note students showing discrimination, EXCEPT for students not respecting age. Yet, we never heard one word in our All Faculty Duty Days or in communications directed at students regarding ageism. It is the one form of discrimination that is ignored.
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Regardless of age, I will always allow someone who only has a few items to go ahead of me in line at the grocery store. It's just common courtesy and feels like it's the right thing to do.

Maybe you can rethink this as they saw you as being robust and able to hold on to the water without a struggle. Or they didn't care either way. We'll never know.

I agree that ageism is thriving in America and possibly in other countries.
 
Leann said:
Regardless of age, I will always allow someone who only has a few items to go ahead of me in line at the grocery store. It's just common courtesy and feels like it's the right thing to do.

Maybe you can rethink this as they saw you as being robust and able to hold on to the water without a struggle. Or they didn't care either way. We'll never know.

I agree that ageism is thriving in America and possibly in other countries.
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How is ageism manifesting itself ?
 
I wonder if you have that entitled attitude in all aspects of your life? If so, you give old people a bad name. We are not all so arrogant as to expect everyone to make concessions for us.
 
Michael Z said:
I remember visiting Poland in the mid 80's and whenever an older person boarded a bus, multiple people got up to surrender their seat. Not sure if it is still like that there, or anywhere.

I know I experienced ageism when I was community college instructor. Our college preached and preached about respecting diverse groups, and truthfully, neither myself or other instructors discriminated in any way, nor did I note students showing discrimination, EXCEPT for students not respecting age. Yet, we never heard one word in our All Faculty Duty Days or in communications directed at students regarding ageism. It is the one form of discrimination that is ignored.
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I haven't traveled the world but I've been to parts of Asia and South America. Generally, South Americans were the most respectful of the elderly. I was really surprised at how cold people in Taiwan and Thailand were toward their elder folk. I was expecting the total opposite; I thought they revered the elderly. Nope, they don't.

edit: In Japan seniors are given a lot of respect, though.
 
Murrmurr said:
I haven't traveled the world but I've been to parts of Asia and South America. Generally, South Americans were the most respectful of the elderly. I was really surprised at how cold people in Taiwan and Thailand were toward their elder folk. I was expecting the total opposite; I thought they revered the elderly. Nope, they don't.

edit: In Japan seniors are given a lot of respect, though.
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I think I'll move to Japan... :D
 
When I'm driving & the light turns green & the driver in front of me doesn't go right away, I never honk at him/her, especially if I see white hair. I know their reaction time is slower. Besides, my hair is gettin' white, too.
Well, it's actually gettin' grayish.......
:)
 
Lately more and more young people open doors for or let me go ahead of them in line, maybe even put their hands out to make sure I get off a curb ok. Little punks, who the hell do they think their dealing with. some old fart that still thinks he can do it all still? It can be a two edged sword. One, it's very kind. Two, it makes me realize, again, I do look old now.
 
dko1951 said:
Lately more and more young people open doors for or let me go ahead of them in line, maybe even put their hands out to make sure I get off a curb ok. Little punks, who the hell do they think their dealing with. some old fart that still thinks he can do it all still? It can be a two edged sword. One, it's very kind. Two, it makes me realize, again, I do look old now.
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It used to bother me too!

Let people, especially children, help you.

If it makes them feel better about themselves it’s a win-win.
 
IMHO it's a cultural thing. Generally Asian, East Indian, Pakistani, Native American, Italian, a fair number of countries in the African continent, Armenia, Israeli, Mongolia, South Asian/Pacific Rim, and most countries in Central and South America.
 
The young are pretty civil here, when I get on public transport,
several jump up and offer me a seat, I always say thank you but
no, I am only travelling a couple of stops and standing is a form
of exercise, one young who had offered her seat and got my
thanks, but, no thanks, came and stood with me, she asked if
she could join me and chat, she said talking helps the time pass
quicker, so there we were, me an elderly man and she just in or
nearly in her twenties, but she was nice, she had seen me before
refuse others and was intrigued.

Mike.
 
When I would ride the bus in cities where I would have to stay over after my flight, I noticed in some cities the bus had signs posted stating that the first two rows of seats on each side of the aisle were reserved for handicap and seniors. Guess who is sitting in those seats?
 
Nathan said:
I don't have any expectations when in public. Some people are actively considerate, while others are oblivious to their surroundings.

Here in this rural town everybody holds the door at the post office for everybody, it's almost annoying.
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I know what you mean. Sometimes people get too helpful.. they stand holding the door almost with a martyred look on their face.. even tho' you might be 30 feet away.. I almost always feel like saying , don't hold the door, I'm too far away and I don't want to rush to get there because you're looking pained holding the door open
 
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