Is Anyone Living Independently on Their Own in Their Senior Years?

I was in Boulevard Deli the other day getting the newspaper and woman in line ahead of me turned to me and said: "I have my cable tv, my dog, some beer and cigarettes... What else do I need?" Hmmmmmm.
 

ancient mariner said:
I was in Boulevard Deli the other day getting the newspaper and woman in line ahead of me turned to me and said: "I have my cable tv, my dog, some beer and cigarettes... What else do I need?" Hmmmmmm.
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Well, sure glad I stopped smoking years ago. Actually, I didn't smoke enough to have a problem quitting. A pack and a half a week, most smokers wouldn't even call that smoking (LOL). Even though I had already stopped when I met my wife, she was ecstatic to know that I had quit before meeting her.

The beer........neither of us can go without having some Bud Light in the frig, especially during the summer here. Sitting on a boat tied up to a dock and enjoying a can of beer, just seem to go together.

No dog, but perhaps in the future after we move.
 
Interesting.......I am currently facing the fact my husband will be gone in 90 days or just a month or two longer. He has Mesothelioma. It’s really scary for me, but on the other hand, a new ‘adventure’, wanted or not. Currently live in Seattle and if my plans go as I want, plan on moving to Arizona (one of my kids lives there). I could view all of this as scary, sad and depressing, but have decided it’s not how it should be. Wish me luck!
 
debbie in seattle said:
Interesting.......I am currently facing the fact my husband will be gone in 90 days or just a month or two longer. He has Mesothelioma. It’s really scary for me, but on the other hand, a new ‘adventure’, wanted or not. Currently live in Seattle and if my plans go as I want, plan on moving to Arizona (one of my kids lives there). I could view all of this as scary, sad and depressing, but have decided it’s not how it should be. Wish me luck!
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Debbie, my heart goes out to you in all you've been dealing with and are facing right now. I can't even imagine being in the situation that you are in with your husband. I really admire you for your strength in keeping it all together and taking care of everything. The fact that you're facing what may be coming in the near future with such a positive attitude is really impressive. I do wish you luck, and wish you well through all this and beyond.....hugs. :sentimental:
 
Debbie, sorry to hear of your situation. It seems that you have a good idea put together. To me Arizona is much better climate and place to live than in Seattle. Of course Arizona offers many climates to live in. High altitude around the Flagstaff area and for plenty of northern Arizona. Mid level areas of about 5,000 foot altitude in the Phoenix area. Then below Phoenix level the land will be more towards 3,000 foot and you will have gone below the areas of trees out into the desert style of living with Cactus and palm trees.

I really liked most of Arizona and am sorry I ever left to move to Ohio. Planning on moving back to Arizona, at least for the winter months. Life is quite a journey for many of us.

Best too you for the coming times.
 
My mother lived alone in a three bedroom house from her mid eighties when my dad died, until she required some in home help at 94. She was quite active until her body wore out. Attitude and spunk have a lot to do with how well folks cope.
 
A sad story in some respects;

I'm 68, married, own a small business and volunteer for the meals on wheels program. I deliver meals to clients three times a week and have others take over my responsibility when I'm away from the business.

The clients get meals every day, I deliver three of those days. I have three different routes and each route has on the average 15 clients. OF the approximate 45 clients that I deliver to, only three are not living alone. The rest are all living alone, excluding pets, in there own homes. Their age range from 50 years old to a 96-year-old WWII veteran. I talk with each and every one of them and have each sign for their meal delivery. Many want to talk and talk, I try to take as much time as I can without making sure the next client is waiting for their meal. If we see something out of the ordinary or if I cannot get anyone to answer the phone or door we call the office and they call the necessary people to check on the client. Sometimes I'm the only person they will see all day. We do provide help with residence repairs when needed for handrails to provide a safe entryway, clean out gutters, etc. all of us are volunteers. Additional assistance is possible for the winter months when heating costs become difficult for the client.

Sometimes its very difficult to see the living conditions and we try to help with that. We also provide pet food at times when we feel the client is giving up their meal for the pet. It all comes from eyes on personal experience with the customer.

But to answer your question, all of these people are living independently and that's what they want. We just try to help a bit.
 
I know this is an old thread but I was just nosying around and got me to thinking. I am alone but have a son who is disabled and I am the one looking out for him. Not the other way around. He is my main concern when something happens to me. I have a brother who is not one to care for or think about anyone but himself. So he would not be someone I could trust. My boyfriend will most likely not outlive me. If so, he could possibly watch out for my son, at least he'd try.

My counselor from the office of the aging mentioned that adult protective services will help people in those situations. They try to keep you living on your own as much as possible. They are the agency I have used to get an aide to help me here in my apartment. I have a list of things I have been working on to get all of this taken care of now.

In my apartment building there are many seniors living alone but it is not a structured life. They are independent and if they need help there are many options but not part of the apartment management. Living downtown might not sound great to some but if it keeps me on my own in my own place then I am happy with it.
 
I lived alone for many years-1st in my house, then in an apartment. I was fine.
But last year, newly retired with a knee surgery and limited mobility, I began thinking about safety and isolation. Covid lockdowns increased my loneliness..so ultimately I decided to move to another state and share a larger place with my best friend of 40 years. We are both adapting to living with someone else, and to a new city.
Finally things are starting to open up. so I am optimistic about joining more social activities and making some new friends.
 
I've been independent in so many ways for so long. I remained so even after I remarried. Now that my husband is gone, if I need help my son, two of my grandsons and my honorary daughter will help me. I hate to bother them though because they are all incredibly busy. The most help I need is with transportation. About 4 or 5 weeks my son will pick up my Costco items. Before COVID I took the bus to my doctor appointments but since the pandemic, I usually take Uber or Lyft. My middle grandson took me to a couple of appointments recently and we hit Walmart and Dollar Tree yesterday. I buy most of my groceries from the local supermarket that is within walking distance but Walmart has some brands I prefer. I buy enough from Walmart so that I don't have to go back for months. I don't anticipate ever needing financial help and literally pray daily that I'll be able to remain independent until I die so that I'm not a burden on my loved ones.
 
I read through this thread and see the many advantages that I have as a man married to a wife who is 7 years younger than I am. Still I devote a lot of planning and financial resources for her future without me. I do not want her to be lonely and living by herself in this big house cooking for one. What you ladies face looks tough to me and reading this thread prods me forward.
 
Pecos said:
I read through this thread and see the many advantages that I have as a man married to a wife who is 7 years younger than I am. Still I devote a lot of planning and financial resources for her future without me. I do not want her to be lonely and living by herself in this big house cooking for one. What you ladies face looks tough to me and reading this thread prods me forward.
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You are such a thoughtful, wonderful husband Pecos.
 
Pecos said:
I read through this thread and see the many advantages that I have as a man married to a wife who is 7 years younger than I am. Still I devote a lot of planning and financial resources for her future without me. I do not want her to be lonely and living by herself in this big house cooking for one. What you ladies face looks tough to me and reading this thread prods me forward.
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OneEyedDiva said:
You are such a thoughtful, wonderful husband Pecos.
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Yes, he is; too bad more husbands aren't like him. 😔
 
debbie in seattle said:
Interesting.......I am currently facing the fact my husband will be gone in 90 days or just a month or two longer. He has Mesothelioma. It’s really scary for me, but on the other hand, a new ‘adventure’, wanted or not. Currently live in Seattle and if my plans go as I want, plan on moving to Arizona (one of my kids lives there). I could view all of this as scary, sad and depressing, but have decided it’s not how it should be. Wish me luck!
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Good luck Deb...we'll be rooting for you!
 
I've been independent for most of my adult life,been in my apt for 33 yrs,its in the same neighborhood where I grew up
I have no immediate family here,my brother lives in Conn,my sister in England I have a couple of close friends I consider my 'buffalo family' who I can ask for help whenever I need it
I'm a member/volunteer at org called Canopy of Neighbors, members 62 or older who live in their apts/homes We have a volunteer driver pool who would take members to dr's appts,grocery shopping etc. We offered/sponsored monthly events in and around the Buffalo area which was great
When Covid hit,that stopped everything, our office is still closed.Every Mon I call my list of members to see how they are if they need anything
I'm staying here for as long as possible Sue
 
I live alone in my own home with no relatives near and I don’t have any children. I was managing fairly well until two unexpected health emergencies occurred that can happen to anybody without warning. I’ve recovered from both but with considerable loss of energy and mobility. I now realize now how dangerous and impractical it is for older seniors to live alone in a house but I am at a loss as to who to consult with to make changes. There seems to be a general idea afloat that all sorts of services are available to seniors. All sorts of suggestions and advice come from people on this forum who have never tried to access the services or managed an identical situation.
 
TabbyAnn said:
I live alone in my own home with no relatives near and I don’t have any children. I was managing fairly well until two unexpected health emergencies occurred that can happen to anybody without warning. I’ve recovered from both but with considerable loss of energy and mobility. I now realize now how dangerous and impractical it is for older seniors to live alone in a house but I am at a loss as to who to consult with to make changes. There seems to be a general idea afloat that all sorts of services are available to seniors. All sorts of suggestions and advice come from people on this forum who have never tried to access the services or managed an identical situation.
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I hear you and sympathize (I'm married but we don't have any kids either and I worry to death about it), but I think that all or most of the folks who offer advice & suggestions here on SF mean well. I think what happens a lot is that services for seniors vary widely from place to place here in the U.S. On another site I'm on, there was a lady on the site who kept suggesting that I check with my local Area Agency on Aging (Passages) for various senior services; she said she volunteered at her local Area Agency on Aging and I should check with mine. So the several times I called mine, I kept being told by the Agency, "Oh, sorry, no, we don't offer that." When I relayed that fact to the gal on the website who kept suggesting them, she said, "Where in the world do you live?!" I told her in a mostly rural area 2 hours away from the nearest big city and she said oh, no wonder; she was in a satellite city just outside Denver if memory serves. So it seems to make a huge difference where you live in this great big ol' country of ours.
 
I've thought about this more recently because my husband, who's 80, was just diagnosed with aortic stenosis and pulmonary hypertension. This was discovered last week when he had a pre-op for upcoming surgery next week. He has to see a Cardiologist and a Pulmonologist. He's always been strong and very healthy and this was a shock for both of us.

We've been married for almost 25 years and his 3 "kids" are near, although, one son has estranged himself from his dad. I'm not sure what I'd do if something happened to him. We were gypsies for most of our life so our house is not paid for, although, the payment would be far less then an apartment. Our vehicle is paid for. We don't have any other bills other than house payment and utilities. I get a small pension and SS, which would pay for house payment. I would not get his pension benefit, unfortunately. I'm not sure how SS works after a spouse dies but I think I wouldn't get mine but I'd get his because it's more. Is that right? We have a small savings but that's it. He never invested in anything. I'm concerned but I hope I won't have to think about it for a while.
 
TabbyAnn said:
I live alone in my own home with no relatives near and I don’t have any children. I was managing fairly well until two unexpected health emergencies occurred that can happen to anybody without warning. I’ve recovered from both but with considerable loss of energy and mobility. I now realize now how dangerous and impractical it is for older seniors to live alone in a house but I am at a loss as to who to consult with to make changes. There seems to be a general idea afloat that all sorts of services are available to seniors. All sorts of suggestions and advice come from people on this forum who have never tried to access the services or managed an identical situation.
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I have and still do use the services I suggest on here. Sometimes I may not be clear on that because I try not to say anything that may cause others to look down on me. Sorry about that.

I live in NY state and our office of the aging is great. They really do help seniors or try to find someone who can. I lived in my home in the country and applied for senior housing by printing out their application from their website. From that, I was able to get help to get out of the situation I was in. But what I learned is that you have to start the ball rolling yourself. I really could not see how I could afford to move and live on my own, but the manager from this senior housing knew all the things I needed to do and how to do it. She directed me to all that and I was here within two months of applying. Once you are out, there are many programs to assist seniors. It is not all about money either.

If you need any help with researching what is available in your area, I would be glad to help you do that. I am pretty good at researching stuff.
 


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