Is love the answer?

"Do unto others what you would have them do unto you," might work better at taming hostility because love/loving is not required.........just common sense & self-preservation. If consistently followed, love could eventually develop out of a result of complete trust.
 
If love is positivity and whatever is negativity, one cannot exist without the other. Life is balance, equilibrium is key to what is. Love is a force that overpowers, cleanses, and influences life. The problem is many people, including myself, have little understanding of love's full potential.
 
chic said:
Growing up a boomer in the "love" generation I may be prejudiced but I would have to say yes. At least, at this moment in time, the world could benefit from more loving and less hostility
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I absolutely agree.. keeping in mind there are so many different kinds of love.
Love is the answer to many challenges..including loving ourselves enough to be our best and show understanding/compassion/ acceptance for others...♥️
 
Mr. Ed said:
If love is positivity and whatever is negativity, one cannot exist without the other. Life is balance, equilibrium is key to what is. Love is a force that overpowers, cleanses, and influences life. The problem is many people, including myself, have little understanding of love's full potential.
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True enough, but in IMO one 'should' work on increasing love and minimizing the negatives. I think we increase love as we practice loving and forgiving/accepting and understanding..
 
Elsie said:
Ahhh, loving in itself sounds like a great solution to solving many types of hostility, however, human love is fickle. :0
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I agree
Remembering all my crushes over the years...love can be exhilarating and gut-wrenching and a roller coaster ride with extreme ups and downs...sigh..
lol in hindsight, I regret none of my experiences.:love:
 
I was raised by a borderline personality disorder mother. My mother could be a good mother. But when she flipped, her rages and abuse made mommy dearest seem calm.

There is a saying about borderlines and it's that the only child in the relationship is them. I was treated like a possession by my mother. My happiness didn't matter, my existence did. I don't want to get into it all. But my reasoning and resentment toward my stepfather is also because he never did anything to protect us against my mother. She abused him also.

These people who were supposed to love me didn't think of me. Deadbeat bio-dad. Mentally ill mother. Enabler stepfather. Jehovah's witness brother, jerk. Other brother a personality disorder and abuser himself.
 
Remy said:
I was raised by a borderline personality disorder mother. My mother could be a good mother. But when she flipped, her rages and abuse made mommy dearest seem calm.

There is a saying about borderlines and it's that the only child in the relationship is them. I was treated like a possession by my mother. My happiness didn't matter, my existence did. I don't want to get into it all. But my reasoning and resentment toward my stepfather is also because he never did anything to protect us against my mother. She abused him also.

These people who were supposed to love me didn't think of me. Deadbeat bio-dad. Mentally ill mother. Enabler stepfather. Jehovah's witness brother, jerk. Other brother a personality disorder and abuser himself.
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Forgiveness takes time and effort. You might not ever be able to forgive your abusers but you need to forgive yourself for feeling the way you do. Forgiveness of this magnification needs to be done in stages. It’s hard work but very worth the effort.
I wish you the very best in your recovery.
 
Remy said:
I was raised by a borderline personality disorder mother. My mother could be a good mother. But when she flipped, her rages and abuse made mommy dearest seem calm.

There is a saying about borderlines and it's that the only child in the relationship is them. I was treated like a possession by my mother. My happiness didn't matter, my existence did. I don't want to get into it all. But my reasoning and resentment toward my stepfather is also because he never did anything to protect us against my mother. She abused him also.

These people who were supposed to love me didn't think of me. Deadbeat bio-dad. Mentally ill mother. Enabler stepfather. Jehovah's witness brother, jerk. Other brother a personality disorder and abuser himself.
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Remy...I am so sorry to hear you had such horrific challenges growing up. No doubt they took a toll on you, but I have a feeling it all made you a stronger and better person with compassion for others who experience the same...
 
"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing."
 
Elsie said:
I was just thinking.........what rate would you give your belief that love could be a cure all, even if it came from a sexually abusive stepfather whose love gave you an STD?
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The exact same thing.
Note: by the way…. That was NOT love.
Keesha said:
Forgiveness takes time and effort. You might not ever be able to forgive your abusers but you need to forgive yourself for feeling the way you do. Forgiveness of this magnification needs to be done in stages. It’s hard work but very worth the effort.
I wish you the very best in your recovery.
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Keesha said:
Forgiveness takes time and effort. You might not ever be able to forgive your abusers but you need to forgive yourself for feeling the way you do. Forgiveness of this magnification needs to be done in stages. It’s hard work but very worth the effort.
I wish you the very best in your recovery.
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I don't think I'll ever recover. The older I get and realize more, the madder I get. Things never seem to work out for me much either. I'm just worn out.
 
Remy said:
I don't think I'll ever recover. The older I get and realize more, the madder I get. Things never seem to work out for me much either. I'm just worn out.
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A couple of years ago I was where you were.
I sent you a ‘private message’ by the way.
I’d had a no contact relationship with my family and a life full of peace & solitude. Having a no contact relationship and not knowing what was going on with my family was the most therapeutic thing I’ve ever done for myself in my life.

I purchased all the books and information I could written by the biggest spiritual gurus like: Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Depak Chopra, Cheryl Richardson etc…. I journaled and meditated daily. In this journal I was able to focus on all the positive things being with this family taught me and my perception of them softened.

If this is definitely something you can’t do or aren’t ready for then you still need to forgive yourself for having to deal with this animosity otherwise the bitterness will eat you alive.
You can’t hate and resent others without it substantially affecting you.

Everyday we get a fresh new slate to begin again. Being in harmony with your surroundings including your thoughts and emotions is worth the effort. Trust me.
 
Remy said:
I don't think I'll ever recover. The older I get and realize more, the madder I get. Things never seem to work out for me much either. I'm just worn out.
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"Getting over painful treatment" not as bad as yours. (I'm 85) It took me years before I realized that all those years of being criticized, made to feel stupid and bad so many times, and not sticking up for myself because the stress of it would bring on my embarrassing shaking which I always tried to hide, had me rewinding 'em in my mind over and over again & wanting to "straighten those hurtful people out, verbally shame them. But I'm tired now of going over those things. I don't want to get "even" anymore, anyway doing so would do no good. They wouldn't remember, or give wrongful excuses and I'd feel dissatisfied. Now when I catch myself thinking over those things, I quickly change my thinking. Oh I still feel a bit of the pain, but I remind myself that what they did to me makes them the ones who were wrong, not me. And that gives me surcease.
 
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