Is love the answer?

Remy said:
I don't think I'll ever recover. The older I get and realize more, the madder I get. Things never seem to work out for me much either. I'm just worn out.
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No @Remy i agree. We never recover which is why, a lot of times, things never work for us. Because we know the worst can happen in the blink of an eye and the assumption of love, from people who claim to love you, is often a mask.
 

Keesha said:
A couple of years ago I was where you were.
I sent you a ‘private message’ by the way.
I’d had a no contact relationship with my family and a life full of peace & solitude. Having a no contact relationship and not knowing what was going on with my family was the most therapeutic thing I’ve ever done for myself in my life.

I purchased all the books and information I could written by the biggest spiritual gurus like: Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Depak Chopra, Cheryl Richardson etc…. I journaled and meditated daily. In this journal I was able to focus on all the positive things being with this family taught me and my perception of them softened.

If this is definitely something you can’t do or aren’t ready for then you still need to forgive yourself for having to deal with this animosity otherwise the bitterness will eat you alive.
You can’t hate and resent others without it substantially affecting you.

Everyday we get a fresh new slate to begin again. Being in harmony with your surroundings including your thoughts and emotions is worth the effort. Trust me.
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I forgot to mention that, while thinking back on past upsetting things, a (rare) but surprising kind word of praise from my mother would come to mind. These always seemed strange to me. I guess because she was the oldest of 10 farm children, more like a servant, and she probably didn't receive much personal attention and affection. Hence, she did not know how to show affection to her 2 daughters.
 
Elsie said:
I forgot to mention that, while thinking back on past upsetting things, a (rare) but surprising kind word of praise from my mother would come to mind. These always seemed strange to me. I guess because she was the oldest of 10 farm children, more like a servant, and she probably didn't receive much personal attention and affection. Hence, she did not know how to show affection to her 2 daughters.
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I did not know you mother, but I know my mother. Therefore, based on my experiences with my mother who was raised on a farm and was one of 7, I think as I remember. She knew very well how to show affection, but not to her daughter, me. She was, however, an expert with a thick leather strap that my father wore as a belt.
 
It is easier to understand love than it is to define love. If God is Love/ Love is God by who/what standards? Can there be love without God? Is love a human condition stirred by emotion? What is God if not love? Why do some associate God with love, perhaps from the Bible? Bible states God is the Creator, so as the Creator, God is all, knows all and is all that is. Love is God and like God, love has multiple concepts and meanings by what we perceive.
Love reminds of a prism where light reflects the colors of rainbow. Every brilliant color is a perception of love.
 
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Mr. Ed said:
It is easier to understand love than it is to define love. If God is Love/ Love is God by who/what standards? Can there be love without God? Is love a human condition stirred by emotion? What is God if not love? Why do some associate God with love, perhaps from the Bible? Bible states God is the Creator, so as the Creator, God is all, knows all and is all that is. Love is God and like God, love has multiple concepts and meanings by what we perceive.
Love reminds of a prism where light reflects the colors of rainbow. Each color a single perfect perception of love.
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Depends on which God you are talking about.
 
One evening while my mother and I were listening to the radio about bombings (and something about rifles) in London I started to cry. Mother looked over at me not seeming to know what to do. I finally went over to her and laid my head in her lap. She patted my head a bit & that was all. From then on I became afraid whenever I heard large planes fly overhead.

When I was, I think fifteen and staring out the front window of my parents' home my mother suddenly came up behind me, patted me on the head and walked away saying "At least you two are good looking." lol Huh? What was that all about?, I wondered. I didn't ask.
I got smacked on the behind with a wooden paddle at times by my mother and 2nd stepfather, but I refused to cry because I thought they were in the wrong. That stepfather slapped me hard across the face once (age 9). Age 15, he slugged me over a stupid argument. Didn't cry.

Aneeda, From the time my mother married my 2nd stepfather, my sister & I seemed to be "in their way" That was when I began to hate hearing their words, "Sweetheart and Honey." :(
 
Love is a combination of endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin in the brain. It makes us feel good. It also helped us survive as a species, since it caused us to reproduce and protect our offspring and mates. We're biologically predisposed to love others. If you want to call that "God," so be it, or you can just call it nature.

We're also biologically predisposed to be suspicious of those who are not like us, since they could attack and kill us. It's all about survival of the species. We have to learn to love those who aren't like us, and many aren't willing to do that.
 
chic said:
Growing up a boomer in the "love" generation I may be prejudiced but I would have to say yes. At least, at this moment in time, the world could benefit from more loving and less hostility
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The hippies and John Lennon tried it and it didn't work then, i know, I was there. it probably won't work now. Money, greed, selfishness and "all about me" folks could care less. These are different times.
Its all about money. How much one has, can get and keep.
 
When an ambitious young couple decide to hock their house to raise cash to buy a little cafe, and finally have to concede defeat because of the virus shutdowns, love soon goes out the window when they learn the bank intends to sell their house.
 
Irwin said:
Love is a combination of endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin in the brain. It makes us feel good. It also helped us survive as a species, since it caused us to reproduce and protect our offspring and mates. We're biologically predisposed to love others. If you want to call that "God," so be it, or you can just call it nature.

We're also biologically predisposed to be suspicious of those who are not like us, since they could attack and kill us. It's all about survival of the species. We have to learn to love those who aren't like us, and many aren't willing to do that.
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A change of thinking about the nature of love can be very useful.

We cannot command people to love us but each of us can decide to love, or not to love.
Think of love as a verb, an action word rather than a feeling. Feelings come and are not really under our control. They are, as Irwin has stated, autonomous reactions to outside stimuli.

That is one kind of love but there is another kind - unconditional love. Unconditional love is enduring and involves a certain amount of sacrifice and empathy. It is not automatic and requires a decision on our part.

An example that I have often used is the night my husband arrived home very drunk and went straight to bed. Not long after that he felt sick but was too legless to get out of bed and he vomited on the carpet next to the bed.

At that time I did not experience loving feelings towards him at all. I felt disgust but I thought for a minute and got stuck in cleaning up the mess. That was something that needed to be done and was not really praiseworthy. However, next morning I did not abuse him although I did think he deserved a few harsh words. Caring for him without rebuke was a decision I made. It was love as an action.

Today I continue to practise unconditional love as much as possible. My daughter and her husband are separated because my son in law broke his marriage vows. I continue to acknowledge him as a son and have not excluded him from the family. They may not be able to remain married but there is no reason for me to punish either of them. Both remain in my love.

When people hurt us badly, as a number of people have attested, it may not be possible to always respond with love. It may never be possible. However, when we come to the point where forgiveness seems possible we have a decision to make. We can continue to hold on to our hurt and resentment. The better decision would be to find some way to lay down the heavy emotional baggage and move forward without it. It's not easy to do but once done we are free to love ourselves and to absorb the love we do receive from others.

Love does make a difference. That is why mothers comfort little children with hugs and kisses. "Let me kiss it better", is love as an action. Love as a verb.
 
Irwin said:
Love is a combination of endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin in the brain. It makes us feel good. It also helped us survive as a species, since it caused us to reproduce and protect our offspring and mates. We're biologically predisposed to love others. If you want to call that "God," so be it, or you can just call it nature.

We're also biologically predisposed to be suspicious of those who are not like us, since they could attack and kill us. It's all about survival of the species. We have to learn to love those who aren't like us, and many aren't willing to do that.
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Agreed, on several levels.
 
chic said:
Growing up a boomer in the "love" generation I may be prejudiced but I would have to say yes. At least, at this moment in time, the world could benefit from more loving and less hostility
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If love isn't the answer to everything I'd still say it should be put forward as the best candidate out of the possible alternatives, should anyone be able to think of any(?). :)

(oops someone just did!).
 
Mr. Ed said:
It is easier to understand love than it is to define love. If God is Love/ Love is God by who/what standards? Can there be love without God? Is love a human condition stirred by emotion? What is God if not love? Why do some associate God with love, perhaps from the Bible? Bible states God is the Creator, so as the Creator, God is all, knows all and is all that is. Love is God and like God, love has multiple concepts and meanings by what we perceive.
Love reminds of a prism where light reflects the colors of rainbow. Every brilliant color is a perception of love.
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I tried to put forward the argument "God is love/Love is God" to an experienced churchman once, and he responded by telling me the first half was something he preached and of course agreed with, (I.e. "God is love"), but it did not follow that "Love is God", or he did not agree with my suggestion.
Unfortunately I was unable to fully understand his views or argument, (though I accept logically you can't just turn a statement around and it remain valid, if that was all he meant).
I liked your description of love though, and can't find much fault with it, except perhaps the objection raised by the experienced churchman or vicar. :)
 

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