Is Ridicule Just Another Name For Bullying?

Lee

Lee

Senior Member
Location
Chatham, Ontario
Just my opinion but I think it is and I seem to be seeing a lot more of it on this forum. I have wondered if it is because everyone is covid weary and just itching to take it out on someone not face to face but behind a keyboard.

Taunting someone by a sly dig at their name, religion or lack of, enticing them to respond when they clearly show no desire to can be a form of forum bullying.

It brings a forum down, it brings me down to see it but perhaps it offers enjoyment to them.....shrug

Easier to just ignore someone and if you are the one ignored to respect the other person not wanting to enact with you any longer.

Curious.....are there mods on this forum or a report button. I have never felt the need to use either but just wonder.
 

Lawrence, please do not leave, stick around, maybe some will see themselves and things will improve. We can only hope.

That was another forum of bullying that I saw, making a newer member here feel that they were too new to be part of our group, different words, same meaning. Once you join here you are part of the group.
 
Lawrence said:
I agree with you. I an a new member and wish I never joined this forum. I wish I could have my account closed here and delete everything pertaining about me on this forum.
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I understand how you feel. I was once enticed to join a forum but it was a total mistake. Some of the posts bordered on depraved. I felt dirty by being a member and I asked to be deleted from the list of members. It took several requests before I succeeded.

However, I would add my voice to Lee's and suggest you try us out for a bit longer before you leave. There are a lot of very nice people here who over time will come to know you and vice versa.

If you are resolute then message the Mods.
 

Is Ridicule Just Another Name For Bullying?​


You bet it is

I was raised on ridicule
It kinda backfired on my folks
As I got good at it myself....very good
I rather enjoyed it
It's really quite easy
Puts the poor foe on the defense
Sets 'em up for more

Now....... I hate it

Sometimes I find myself slipping into a snide remark
I gotta watch myself

It's mean

Meanness is rife
It has it's own form of perpetual motion

What's nice is, there's just never too much kindness

and

it's just as easy
 
I think it's covid stress related and the way we are being coerced to live because of it which is not normal at all. I forgive. But I hate it when they smash up my car just because of it. šŸ˜„ This has happened to me twice in the past six months and no one can convince it's not related to covid induced stress. I know in my bones people are stretched beyond the limit.
 
chic said:
I think it's covid stress related and the way we are being coerced to live because of it which is not normal at all. I forgive. But I hate it when they smash up my car just because of it. šŸ˜„ This has happened to me twice in the past six months and no one can convince it's not related to covid induced stress. I know in my bones people are stretched beyond the limit.
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Oh chic I'm sorry that happened. What happened to your car?
 
chic said:
I think it's covid stress related and the way we are being coerced to live because of it which is not normal at all. I forgive. But I hate it when they smash up my car just because of it. šŸ˜„ This has happened to me twice in the past six months and no one can convince it's not related to covid induced stress. I know in my bones people are stretched beyond the limit.
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How terrible ! twice in 6 months... just terrible...:mad:
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I agree that it is Lee. Especially if it's constant or publicly demeaning. But if someone verbally attacks, I think a person has a right to defend him/herself.
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Diva, I agree, if attacked you do have the right and should defend yourself or your idea. However it is not in anyone's best interest to keep it going. Say what you have to say and leave it at that. It is when it keeps going back and forth it turns into the same scenario of kindergarten kids taunting each other in a playground.....someone always runs away hurt.
 
Ruthanne said:
Oh chic I'm sorry that happened. What happened to your car?
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First time I ended up with a scrape from back to front on the passenger side. Someone must have just sideswiped the car. They keyed it too just to make a statement. Second time I ended up with a smashed fender and shredded hubcap on the driver's side. My poor car is no longer the chicmobile.

I did get all the hubcaps changed, and the scrape fixed but the dent requires bodywork and insurance didn't pay me enough for repairs and car rental since bodywork would have my car in the shop for awhile. :(
 
chic said:
First time I ended up with a scrape from back to front on the passenger side. Someone must have just sideswiped the car. They keyed it too just to make a statement. Second time I ended up with a smashed fender and shredded hubcap on the driver's side. My poor car is no longer the chicmobile.

I did get all the hubcaps changed, and the scrape fixed but the dent requires bodywork and insurance didn't pay me enough for repairs and car rental since bodywork would have my car in the shop for awhile. :(
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Oh wow that's terrible! What's wrong with people? They've seemed to snapped!šŸ˜ž
 
chic said:
First time I ended up with a scrape from back to front on the passenger side. Someone must have just sideswiped the car. They keyed it too just to make a statement. Second time I ended up with a smashed fender and shredded hubcap on the driver's side. My poor car is no longer the chicmobile.

I did get all the hubcaps changed, and the scrape fixed but the dent requires bodywork and insurance didn't pay me enough for repairs and car rental since bodywork would have my car in the shop for awhile. :(
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What statement were they trying to make? Do you have political bumper stickers on your car?
 
Lee said:
Diva, I agree, if attacked you do have the right and should defend yourself or your idea. However it is not in anyone's best interest to keep it going. Say what you have to say and leave it at that. It is when it keeps going back and forth it turns into the same scenario of kindergarten kids taunting each other in a playground.....someone always runs away hurt.
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Could not have said it better myself. Merci Lee!
 
Irwin said:
What statement were they trying to make? Do you have political bumper stickers on your car?
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My question as well. It could also have been someone who knew you and then attacked? Seems odd to go after your car publicly, Chic. I've been attacked on social media, including forums for stating my opinions, but never in person. Doesn't bother me though as I know I've made my point. Then that's the bully's problem, not mine. Call me what you wish, I know from whence I speak. It has even happened right here.
 
Lee said:
Just my opinion but I think it is and I seem to be seeing a lot more of it on this forum. I have wondered if it is because everyone is covid weary and just itching to take it out on someone not face to face but behind a keyboard.
Taunting someone by a sly dig at their name, religion or lack of, enticing them to respond when they clearly show no desire to can be a form of forum bullying.
It brings a forum down, it brings me down to see it but perhaps it offers enjoyment to them.....shrug
Easier to just ignore someone and if you are the one ignored to respect the other person not wanting to enact with you any longer.
Curious.....are there mods on this forum or a report button. I have never felt the need to use either but just wonder.
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If it is then I'm in real trouble, because my default mode of behaviour is to ridicule posts I believe are putting forward preposterous of ridiculous views or arguments.

Is ridicule really so hard to tolerate? I do hope my posts are not so persistent or cruel in the levels of ridicule I use against any individual, so I'd hope no one thinks it amounts to bullying, where folks go out of their way to pick on others, without showing any balance or proportionate posts.
 
Lawrence said:
I agree with you. I an a new member and wish I never joined this forum. I wish I could have my account closed here and delete everything pertaining about me on this forum.
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chic said:
I think it's covid stress related and the way we are being coerced to live because of it which is not normal at all. I forgive. But I hate it when they smash up my car just because of it. šŸ˜„ This has happened to me twice in the past six months and no one can convince it's not related to covid induced stress. I know in my bones people are stretched beyond the limit.
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I also posted about the 2 car accidents I've had in the past year - after 52 years of a perfect driving record.
People are nuts.
 
Lawrence said:
I agree with you. I an a new member and wish I never joined this forum. I wish I could have my account closed here and delete everything pertaining about me on this forum.
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I'm with Lee and Warrigal, do give us chance. Just as out in the world there are a lot of good people here, but the 'loud', hostile and often full of themselves ones sometimes get more attention. Do look at the list of new posts, some were started years ago but are still going yet they are about daily concerns or fun things (@PamfromTx's 'caption this ones). The good things about forums like this is it really easy to choose what threads you want to participate in.
 
Lee said:
Diva, I agree, if attacked you do have the right and should defend yourself or your idea. However it is not in anyone's best interest to keep it going. Say what you have to say and leave it at that. It is when it keeps going back and forth it turns into the same scenario of kindergarten kids taunting each other in a playground.....someone always runs away hurt.
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Lee, i agree. This why i often bow out of contentious threads after stating my position. When people ask questions or respond in a civil manner i'm happy to stay involved even if we disagree. But if they just keep repeating the same hostile remarks, no thank you.
 
grahamg said:
...
Is ridicule really so hard to tolerate?
...
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Yes! It is not the same thing as constructive criticism.

Ridicule is the basis of bullying. Ask anyone who has been called names because they didn't 'fit in' at school because they were new, or had a different accent, or heaven forbid they were conscientious students and actually read science and history books on their own time but couldn't be put in the 'sucking up to teachers' category because they actually argued with teachers about the facts that were left out of the textbooks.
 
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feywon said:
Yes! It is not the same thing as constructive criticism.
Ridicule is the basis of bullying. Ask anyone who has been called names because they didn't 'fit in' at school because they were new, or had a different accent, or heaven forbid they were conscientious students and actually read science and history books on their own time but couldn't be put in the 'sucking up to teachers' category because they actually argued with teachers about the facts that were keft out of the textbooks.
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Well I'm sorry but if you expect to go through life hearing only constructive criticism of yourself my guess is you'll be sadly mistaken, (and I think I'm giving you both constructive criticism and a bit of ridicule there, because I think what you're saying is ridiculous!).

I don't wish to see a world where only "constructive criticism" is permitted, so there you are. :) :(

(Oh, and btw who wasn't called names at school, mine being "barrel" because I was pretty fat when I started there, but I was never ever bullied there, as my good mates wouldn't allow it, and stepped striagt in when there was the slightest chance)
 
grahamg said:
Well I'm sorry but if you expect to go through life hearing only constructive criticism of yourself my guess is you'll be sadly mistaken, (and I think I'm giving you both constructive criticism and a bit of ridicule there, because I think what you're saying is ridiculous!).

I don't wish to see a world where only "constructive criticism" is permitted, so there you are. :) :(

(Oh, and btw who wasn't called names at school, mine being "barrel" because I was pretty fat when I started there, but I was never ever bullied there, as my good mates wouldn't allow it, and stepped striagt in when there was the slightest chance)
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You're entitled to your opinion and i to mine. I have duly noted that you don't want answers to your questions and you consider yourself the authority on what's ridiculous.

However, i never said i expected anything of others, i only offered my opinion (which you asked the question). I'm well aware that some people are capable of unkind, self serving words and deeds. From name calling to stereotyping and more. The fact that they do so, does not make any of it 'ok' or 'right'.

BTW, from what you say your mates apparently recognized the preludes to bullying and that as someone who got called 'barrel' you were a likely target when a bully wanted to stoke his own ego. Good for them for stepping up.
 
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I can't say I've ever been bullied in forums. And yes I consider ridicule as bullying if it is carried on rather than a one-off. There have been occasional differences of opinion. I choose not to engage for the most part. I can't really see the point. In most discussions between people with strong opposing views neither is going to change, so it would just be an exercise in frustration.

I find walking away from an argument much easier on forums than in real life. There it can get a whole lot more tricky. On a forum, you can just shut down your computer, problem solved.
 

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