Is this woman naive, or hopelessly dense?

QuickSilver said:
Funny how everyone thinks everyone else online has some sort of nefarious history and intentions... while thinking it's fine to meet a stranger at a bar, or a club, or at the supermarket and they are somehow safer..
Click to expand...

Not “everyone” thinks that “everyone” online is nefarious – if that were true no one would ever meet with anyone they connected with online.

A bar, restaurant, supermarket, office, church are just venues – the point is to use caution online and to use common sense, check people out, and trust your gut regardless of where you first connect with them.

Seriously.... most sociopaths are very good at deceit.. even in person.
Click to expand...

Yes, they are. And a surprising number of people are manipulated by sociopaths.

But once I grew up and learned some things the hard way, my instincts became finely tuned. I learned to spot them and steer clear – even in the case of someone who is overly anxious to get close/get into my life, a sociopathic relative or co-worker. With a sociopathic boss who has power, the solution is to look for another job.

Dr. Phil had a show and also wrote a book “Life Code” which talks about liars, scammers, backstabbers, etc. He talked about how often people get taken in because they were taught to be nice, do the Christian thing, give people the benefit of the doubt, ignore the red flags…..so they can feel like a “good person”. Big mistake.
 

I think it can be challenging to walk the line between gullibility and cynicism. Most of my career was far more predicated on my ability to read people than any skill sets I may have acquired. That said, there were times I misread the cues, and one instance where there simply were none. This psychopath had successfully bamboozled no less than three psychiatrists in their lifetime. She was that good! By all means exercise caution, and good judgement, but there are no absolutes. Most people are genuine, a few are not, but it is still worth it to reach out, in my opinion.
 
It’s true that one can misread people (in either a positive or negative way). Experiences or things you’ve heard/read about can taint a person. It’s happened to me, but I do try not to be suspicious of everyone. That’s not a pleasant way to live.

I was always very careful about who I chose to date/allow into my home. But years ago I let down my guard and decided to trust a man I liked very much. (There were a couple of red flags but I looked past them.) Things fizzled and I cut off contact. Long to short he became freaky and stalkerish. Despite his demeanor and appearance, he was a nut and just would not leave me alone. I had to get the police involved.

Oh, when I was talking about the Dr. Phil show I meant to say he wasn’t just pontificating. He talked about someone who worked for him and his wife and the person stole $100,000.
 

This man lives not far from me but he hasn't learned much from his experienc
Scam victim lucky to be alive



A SOUTH AUSTRALIAN farmer held hostage in Africa for 12 days in an internet bride scam has returned home, saying he is lucky to be alive.
Des Gregor, 56, of Hoyleton, arrived at Adelaide Airport last night after being freed from his African captors, who were ultimately duped by police.
Mr Gregor travelled to Mali last month to meet his supposed bride and collect a dowry of $100,000 in gold.
But on his arrival on July 27 he was kidnapped by a gang, beaten, stripped, had his cash and credit cards taken, and was held hostage at a flat in Bamako, the capital. He was told he would have his limbs hacked off with a machete unless he arranged a $100,000 ransom.
Mr Gregor was freed last Thursday when Australian Federal Police persuaded the kidnappers there was money to be collected by their captive from the Canadian embassy in Bamako.
The gang briefly released him and police rescued him.
"I especially thank the Australian Federal Police for the effort that they put in and also the Mali police," Mr Gregor said. "They did a fantastic job in conjunction with the AFP, and if it wasn't for them I reckon another couple of days and I wouldn't have returned."
Mr Gregor said he was beaten with a machete and bound by the legs when he was held captive, in a one-room flat.
When he arrived in Mali he had no suspicion he was a victim of a con, he said.
"The first indication I had that there was something wrong was when we got to the flat, they called out for somebody's name and the person that was supposed to meet me weren't there.
"We walked in and there was one bloke with [what] I would say [was] a home-made pistol and another one with a machete."
Mr Gregor said he was given "a good belting with a machete. I still have the scars to prove that.
He gave them what he had, he said. "They then made me strip. That is when they got the wallet and that had $A675 in it."
Mr Gregor arrived in Adelaide with none of his possessions and issued a warning to others seeking love over the internet. "Just be careful, make sure you check everything out 100 per cent."
AAP
 
I think most people should have learned something from the "Craigslist Killer." I have aided in investigations that ended tragically for people that have met other people online. Some relationships do turn out good, but I would be suspicious of people that brag about what they have and make themselves sound like they are millionaires waiting for Mrs. Right to come along.

The horror stories that I could tell would sicken some and that's not my intent. Just be careful and take things slow.
 
I have also seen women on Dr Phil who have sent thousands of dollars to a man they never met, but they LOVE him...Seriously? And he loves them so much. But his money is tied up in Rhodesia or somewhere in Africa. Riiiight. Let's be honest, if the man was that rich and good looking, why would he be interested in a middle-aged woman no matter how attractive she may be? I don't understand how gullible women can be.
 
Dreamplanter said:
I have also seen women on Dr Phil who have sent thousands of dollars to a man they never met, but they LOVE him...Seriously? And he loves them so much. But his money is tied up in Rhodesia or somewhere in Africa. Riiiight. Let's be honest, if the man was that rich and good looking, why would he be interested in a middle-aged woman no matter how attractive she may be? I don't understand how gullible women can be.
Click to expand...

Nothing wrong with middle-aged women and it’s not always about Africa. Sometimes the men say they’re waiting on their assets to be liquidated, or waiting for the closing on a big real estate deal, or there have been delays on an inheritance. It’s BS anyway you slice it. I saw a story on Dateline or 20/20 where a woman “loaned” some guy hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of about a year. He never repaid her and she kept giving him money. They finally tracked him down and a reporter went with her to confront him, but he wouldn’t open his door.

In many cases they’ve never met in person. It’s all based on online communication and phone calls. The desperation to get a man and have a romance results in ignoring the red flags.
 
Dreamplanter said:
I have also seen women on Dr Phil who have sent thousands of dollars to a man they never met, but they LOVE him...Seriously? And he loves them so much. But his money is tied up in Rhodesia or somewhere in Africa. Riiiight. Let's be honest, if the man was that rich and good looking, why would he be interested in a middle-aged woman no matter how attractive she may be? I don't understand how gullible women can be.
Click to expand...

You are probably referring to all the scams coming from Nigeria. There has not been a country called Rhodesia since 1980.
 
She is neither naive nor hopelessly dense.....she is desperately lonely and out of touch with reality. She's an energy vampire and probably will never learn. It was in your best interest to stop communication.
 
It's sad that there are so many people baiting people on any personals site. I remember back in the day. Personals were posted in the paper and people would write actual real live notes on paper to a PO box. Quaint I know, but you could at least weed by horrendous spelling or childish handwriting. But even then you really didn't know who you were dealing with. Now the anonymity of the internet opens a whole new kettle of fish...very dangerous out there.
 
Manatee said:
The best thing you can do for her is wait until she isn't looking and unplug her computer.
Click to expand...

Nah - She is many miles away, the friendship is over, and I wouldn't touch her computer with a 10 ft. pole. I really don't want anything to do with her. (This happened a long time ago.)
 
You mean men who are in prison for life? (I think the Menendez brothers have wives.)

I don't understand it, but I don't have to. :shrug:
 
I saw a show about Prison Wives...some kind of reality show. I'm astounded these woman arrange their whole life around a convicted murderer in prison. In every case they were convinced their hubby was innocent no matter how much evidence was presented.
 
This woman is desperate for attention and it has blinded her from reality. Hopefully she has shared her story with family that will intervene. I hope she doesn't have a large amount of money and assets because they'll all be gone if she does not come to her senses.
 
Most people learn a lot after 60+ years of life experiences that will benefit many others. Sadly, some never really grow up mentally, emotionally or in the common sense area. I hope she does not learn from this experience too late.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top