It is all over except for screaming

Pepper said:
I can’t calm down right now. I’m overwhelmed with grief for myself. I will explain when I can. You all are very important to me.
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It's safe to suggest getting a second opinion, and many here have done that. But if it turns out that it confirms what the current doctor says, any decision you make is a deeply personal matter, and only you can make it - no one else.

Chances are, an answer will be needed very soon - but at least allow yourself as much time as possible to get past this initial time of feeling overwhelmed.
 
Pepper, is there a social worker, or a team of social services, that is available to help you work through this and make a decision? I hit the Send button too soon, so here's the rest of it.

I see you live in NY, so obviously you're in a good place for help and advice. There might be better options available to you. Is that kind of help covered by Medicare or your insurance?
 
George1959 said:
Not all people do. I know a woman in her 80s who refused to get her leg amputated. The physician answered her: "Then you'll die". She refused nevertheless. She had the full support of her daughter.
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I had a friend who, to age 65-70, decided that he didn't want to live with one leg. He did die, and I sure miss him.

On FB, I reacquainted with a High School friend. She had the surgery. Now, she posts pictures constantly on FB. Pictures of her spending time with her grandkids. Going to soccer basketball games, school plays and concerts, or time at the park. She recently had yet another, grandbaby.....and she is so proud!

Then there is a former co-worker/friend who I ran into at the store a few years ago. She had just lost her leg, due to an accident. Since then, I run into her several times a year (we have the same eye doctor, and shop in the same stores, etc), and I have followed the progress of her adjusting to her new reality. I'm amazed at how mentally strong she is!!! She is such an inspiration! She tells me that she takes it one day at a time, and does what she needs to do. The last time I saw her was at the gym. She was walking around on her prosthetic leg as if she had had it her whole life!

OK, these are examples of 3 people who I know/knew personally. Each one was different. Each had to find a way (or reason) to adjust. Each made their decision in different ways.

I want to add one more thing....I have been handy capped since I was a teenager (not my leg). I speak from personal experience when I say that we humans are resilient and we adapt. Old ways fade away, never quite forgotten....new ways become "normal", and life goes on.

You have a hard decision a head of you @Pepper . But it's your decision, only you can make it. (Hugs!!!)
 
Trila said:
I had a friend who, to age 65-70, decided that he didn't want to live with one leg. He did die, and I sure miss him.

On FB, I reacquainted with a High School friend. She had the surgery. Now, she posts pictures constantly on FB. Pictures of her spending time with her grandkids. Going to soccer basketball games, school plays and concerts, or time at the park. She recently had yet another, grandbaby.....and she is so proud!

Then there is a former co-worker/friend who I ran into at the store a few years ago. She had just lost her leg, due to an accident. Since then, I run into her several times a year (we have the same eye doctor, and shop in the same stores, etc), and I have followed the progress of her adjusting to her new reality. I'm amazed at how mentally strong she is!!! She is such an inspiration! She tells me that she takes it one day at a time, and does what she needs to do. The last time I saw her was at the gym. She was walking around on her prosthetic leg as if she had had it her whole life!

OK, these are examples of 3 people who I know/knew personally. Each one was different. Each had to find a way (or reason) to adjust. Each made their decision in different ways.

I want to add one more thing....I have been handy capped since I was a teenager (not my leg). I speak from personal experience when I say that we humans are resilient and we adapt. Old ways fade away, never quite forgotten....new ways become "normal", and life goes on.

You have a hard decision a head of you @Pepper . But it's your decision, only you can make it. (Hugs!!!)
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Especially this part ^

not your family members.. and DEFINITELY NOT 'social workers' or 'social services' that do NOT have YOUR best interests in mind!!!
 
@Pepper: Please keep one thing in mind.. when it comes down to it, it's YOU and ONLY YOU that will be living with the results (or consequences).

So please don't be swayed by well-meaning people (in your life or here) who genuinely care, and PLEASE don't let 'social workers' or 'social services' TAKE your decision away from you!!
 
Pepper, I think you need a really good advocate who understands medicine. It's really difficult to make this desision on your own without being able to get another vested opinion.
I do not know how the system is set up where you are, but there must be (through your insrance) someone who can step up.

I don't know many doctors who want to wait for this type surgery for weeks into the future. I have assisted in surgery from time to time and usually it is not delayed. I am also not sure what your dx is.
 
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