It's the little things that hurt.

Grampa Don

Grampa Don

Yep, that's me
Location
Orange county, Calif.
Last week my wife passed away. She was 82 and had multiple health problems and aches and pains. It was her time to go. What hurts the most is remembering little things. Each evening after dinner I would tell her "thanks for feeding me". And, she would say "thanks for fixing it or thanks for eating it." And I would give her a kiss. That will never happen again. When I was feeling out of sorts, she would ask if I was OK. No one is going to do that now.

I'm not looking for sympathy. What I am dealing with, many of you probably have too. And, I don't need any cheering remarks about heaven. She believed she was going there and I'm thankful for that. If there is a heaven, I'm sure she did.
 

Grampa Don said:
Last week my wife passed away. She was 82 and had multiple health problems and aches and pains. It was her time to go. What hurts the most is remembering little things. Each evening after dinner I would tell her "thanks for feeding me". And, she would say "thanks for fixing it or thanks for eating it." And I would give her a kiss. That will never happen again. When I was feeling out of sorts, she would ask if I was OK. No one is going to do that now.

I'm not looking for sympathy. What I am dealing with, many of you probably have too. And, I don't need any cheering remarks about heaven. She believed she was going there and I'm thankful for that. If there is a heaven, I'm sure she did.
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I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband almost 3 years ago and still remember the little things..though they do not hurt as much.
In remembering, I smile and am thankful. I talk with/to him every night and thank him for all the good things he did for me and forgive him for his errors and omissions as I know he forgives me for mine. I also have a deep belief we will meet again in the great reunion in the sky ...where we will meet again with all those we knew in this life.
 
yes it is the little things and while a reminder it can also hurt..... some days after a person is gone some thing will just be there as a reminder and some will be painful ..... I hope small things become your smile instead of painful but until the Sorry for you loss.
 
I am sorry for your loss. Here is a thought:
Grief is like the wake behind a boat. It starts out as a huge wave that follows close behind you and is big enough to swamp and drown you if you suddenly stop moving forward. But if you do keep moving, the big wake will eventually dissipate. And after a long enough time, the waters of your life get calm again, and that is when the memories of those who have left begin to shine as bright and as enduring as the stars above.

As far as little things, I completely understand. I picked up lunch at a Taco Bell, and wondered why the cost was half of what I normally paid. Then it hit me-I did not have a wife to buy lunch for.
After taking a kayak and scattering my wife's ashes at sea, I changed into dry clothes, and I went upstairs to the restaurant we always ate at when we came here. I felt a small pang of remembrance and guilt, as this was the first time in a while that I had no one to help up the stairs.
 
bowmore said:
I am sorry for your loss. Here is a thought:
Grief is like the wake behind a boat. It starts out as a huge wave that follows close behind you and is big enough to swamp and drown you if you suddenly stop moving forward. But if you do keep moving, the big wake will eventually dissipate. And after a long enough time, the waters of your life get calm again, and that is when the memories of those who have left begin to shine as bright and as enduring as the stars above.

As far as little things, I completely understand. I picked up lunch at a Taco Bell, and wondered why the cost was half of what I normally paid. Then it hit me-I did not have a wife to buy lunch for.
After taking a kayak and scattering my wife's ashes at sea, I changed into dry clothes, and I went upstairs to the restaurant we always ate at when we came here. I felt a small pang of remembrance and guilt, as this was the first time in a while that I had no one to help up the stairs.
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What a lovely post, Bowmore. Thank you for sharing those thoughts with us.
 
Grampa Don said:
Last week my wife passed away. She was 82 and had multiple health problems and aches and pains. It was her time to go. What hurts the most is remembering little things. Each evening after dinner I would tell her "thanks for feeding me". And, she would say "thanks for fixing it or thanks for eating it." And I would give her a kiss. That will never happen again. When I was feeling out of sorts, she would ask if I was OK. No one is going to do that now.

I'm not looking for sympathy. What I am dealing with, many of you probably have too. And, I don't need any cheering remarks about heaven. She believed she was going there and I'm thankful for that. If there is a heaven, I'm sure she did.
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*Hugs* Sorry for your loss Don. I think my father is going through the same thing right now. He's having a tough time. Is there anything any of us can do to help you through this?
 
Grampa Don said:
Last week my wife passed away. She was 82 and had multiple health problems and aches and pains. It was her time to go. What hurts the most is remembering little things. Each evening after dinner I would tell her "thanks for feeding me". And, she would say "thanks for fixing it or thanks for eating it." And I would give her a kiss. That will never happen again. When I was feeling out of sorts, she would ask if I was OK. No one is going to do that now.

I'm not looking for sympathy. What I am dealing with, many of you probably have too. And, I don't need any cheering remarks about heaven. She believed she was going there and I'm thankful for that. If there is a heaven, I'm sure she did.
Click to expand...
 
Grampa Don said:
Last week my wife passed away. She was 82 and had multiple health problems and aches and pains. It was her time to go. What hurts the most is remembering little things. Each evening after dinner I would tell her "thanks for feeding me". And, she would say "thanks for fixing it or thanks for eating it." And I would give her a kiss. That will never happen again. When I was feeling out of sorts, she would ask if I was OK. No one is going to do that now.

I'm not looking for sympathy. What I am dealing with, many of you probably have too. And, I don't need any cheering remarks about heaven. She believed she was going there and I'm thankful for that. If there is a heaven, I'm sure she did.
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What a lovely remembrance about a lovely person. ❤️
 
Thank you for the responses. Yes, I have two fine sons who live close. I'd be lost without them.

I was sad when my Dad died. I cried when my Mom passed. But, this is so much worse. We met when I was 10. We dated for 5 years and were married for 60. She was my whole life. I was the introvert nerd. She was all love. Workers in the supermarket would give her hugs. She knew all their names and they knew hers. Here she is at Easter nine years ago.

Janie-Easter.jpg


So here I am feeling sorry for myself and I know many have gone through the same thing. I'll be OK.
 

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