Just senior humor

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An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.
The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The old man looks
at the bartender through Teary eyes and between sobs says,
“I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five,
intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper,
Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend,
and intensely passionate in bed.”
The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says,
“But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?”
The old man looks at the bartender and says, “I can’t remember where I live!”
 
I went to my WIFES doctor and told him I was going to sue him.
When he asked why I explained that ever since my wife left his care she hasn’t been sexually interested in me.
The doctor said all he done was cataract surgery and now she can see.
 
Medicare in a nutshell
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,
"Hello". "Mrs. Ward, please." "Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing
When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday,
a Biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now
Uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are
Either bad or terrible" "What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's,
and The other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which
your Husband's' is." "That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?"
questioned Mrs. Ward. "Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for
these expensive Tests one time." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband
off Somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't Sleep with him."
 
debodun said:
Both sad and funny, Marie, it is so true. The reason I waste weekends sitting out on the porch watching cars racing by my estate sale.
Click to expand...

Right now I am dealing with not my own parents stuff, but from Rick's parents. A few pieces of MIL jewelry I am keeping, as they are pretty. But other stuff...I do not know. I do not have the patience to do a yard sale, so I think I donate.
 
My next-door neighbor is a weekend antique dealer (his day job is high school teacher). He takes his wares to antique shows where he has to pack his van, drive there, unpack, set up, pack the van again, drive home and unpack - labor intensive! He also has pay to sell there, thereby having to pass the extra cost on in his merchandise. He only came over once to my sale and looked at a desk I had out. He didn't buy it. When I ask him for advice, he just smiles smugly and doesn't commit himself. I keep my overhead low by using my own property which is on three main local highways. Interstate 4, State Rt 32 and County Rt 67 all pass by my house.
 
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