Just senior humor

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Baby Boomers are set to get into the 'Golden Years' of failing eyesight, failing backsides, hips, knees, hands, feet, arthritic joints, and declining health.

But, it is not all bad, we now have grandchildren, who turn out to be a lot more fun than raising children. You can spoil them and then return them to their parents. Sweet revenge!

My wife and I always say that with grand-kids we get the pleasure twice - when we see the headlights coming and again when we see the taillights disappear in the dark. The reason is that we usually need about a week to recover from all that energy around us.

And of course, we start to forget. We go to the kitchen and then have to go back to the living room where we started to find out what we went to the kitchen for. I call it involuntary exercise.

But despite the failing eyesight, loss of hair on top and a proliferation of it everywhere else, there is ray of sunshine in Baby Boomers now being, or soon becoming eligible to that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - "the Senior Discount." We now can bank, eat out, buy products and services at a 10 -15% senior discount.

I don't think that it balances out against what we all lost, or will soon be losing, but you have to agree, it's better than a 'kick in the butt.'

Humor and laughter are among the best holistic medications we can use to stave off illness, relief stress, boost the immune system and maintain a 'young perspective.'

So what do you do to maintain a 'young perspective?

Throw out all non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let your doctor worry about them. That's why you pay him the big bucks.

Keep cheerful friends. The grouches suck you into their spiral of misery.

Keep learning - computer, languages, skills, crafts, whatever. Never let the brain be idle. An idle mind is the devil's workshop, and the devil's name is 'Altzheimer.'

Enjoy the simple things

Laugh often, laugh long and laugh loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

The tears happen. endure, grieve and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Be alive while you are alive!

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, books, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health. If it's good - preserve it! If it's unstable - improve it! If it is beyond what you can improve - get medical help!

Don't take guilt trips! Take a trip to the mall - to another part of the country, to a foreign country, but not where the guilt is.
 
A mountain woman goes to the doctors
Every spring, as soon as the snows thawed, a certain mountain woman would come down into town, have a baby and gather supplies for the summer.
After a few years of this, she looked despairingly at the doctor and said, “Doctor, I don’t know how much more of this I can handle.
We got us eight kids now and I just don’t know how we can go on.
I gotta do something about having all these babies or I’ll just lose my mind!”

The doctor scratched his head and wondered how to gently instruct the woman on how to curb her ordeal and finally told her to pick up a ten-gallon bucket along with her supplies.
“And every night when you go to bed, I want both of your feet in that bucket and don’t take them out until morning.”
So the lady was off and all of her problems seemed to be solved.
That next spring, right on cue, she walked into the doctor’s office and promptly delivered another child.
“Ma’am, I thought I told you to sleep each night with your feet in a ten-gallon bucket.
What happened?” “Well, you see doctor, the store was all out of ten-gallon buckets,
so I just figured two five-gallon buckets would do the trick just the same”
 
An Old Lady takes a Holiday

A Travel Agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman
peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world.

The agent had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.

He called them into his shop, ‘I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won’t take no for an answer.’

He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel.
Then, as can be expected, they gladly accepted, and were off!

About a month later the little old lady came in to his shop. ‘And how did you like your holiday?’ he asked eagerly.

‘The flight was exciting and the room was lovely,’ she said. ‘I’ve come to thank you,
but one thing puzzled me. Who was that old bugger I had to share the room with?
 

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