Just senior humor

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Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home.
Every night after dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Annabel, age 87, wanders into the garden.
They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Annabel and asks.
“Do you know what I miss most of all?”
She asks. “What?”
“S*X!”
Annabel exclaims.
“Why you old fart, you couldn’t get it up if I held a gun to your head!”
“I know,” Howard says. “But it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while.”
“Well, I can oblige.” Says Annabel, who gently unzips his trousers, proceeds to hold it.
Afterwards, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Annabel would hold Howard’s manhood.
Then, one night, Howard didn’t show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Annabel decided to find Howard and make sure that he was O.K.
She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident – who was holding Howard’s manhood!
Furious, Annabel yelled.
“You two-timing creep! What does she have that I don’t have?”
Howard smiled happily and replied.
“Parkinson’s.”
 
An elderly couple are celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple married as childhood sweethearts and moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walk back to their old school. It unlocked, so they enter, and see the old desk they
shared, where Andy carved “I love you, Sally.”

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they take it home. There, she counts the money $50,000! Andy saiys, “We’ve got to give it back.” Sally says, “Finders keepers.” She puts the money back in the bag and hides it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers are canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?” Sally says, “No”. Andy says, “She’s lying. She hides it up in the attic. Sally says, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

The LEO turn to Andy and question him. One says, “Tell us the story from the beginning.” Andy says, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ....” The first police officer turned to his partner and says, “We’re outta here!”
 

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