VaughanJB
Scrappy VIP
Yes.
And I said as much - unintentional mistakes are to be expected. They happen anyway, even in situations totally unconnected to transgendered.
Ie busy on the phone, out corner of my eye, see a tall man with short hair, please have a seat, sir.
And then look again and see she is a woman.
Unintentional mistake, just apologise.
Difference between unintentional mistakes and stubborn refusal to accept someone has transgendered and call them accordingly.
Social norms is to call people by what they want to be called, not decide yourself that you won't do so because they are 'pretending'
That seems quite dismissive to me and minimising the commitment of transgendering.
The thing is, if I don't know you, I don't know you. I don't know if you're going to a fancy dress party or this is your normal attire. I do know that if someone addressed me as "her", it wouldn't bring my world crashing down. I'd always try and be polite, but it has to make sense to my worldview and life experience.
This is the issue. A trans woman has chosen to step out the norm, and to present themselves as the opposite sex. That's their choice, and they are entitled to make it. They should not be stopped or prevented from making that decision for themselves. However, along with that they're asking everyone else to buy into it, and to change their own expectations. These include whether people of the male sex can use women's rest rooms.
The thing is - if I asked the public the following: "Do you mind if men use women's rest rooms in public", I think I'd get a majority of people saying it's a not acceptable. But if I ask: "Do you mind if a man wearing make up and a dress use women's rest rooms", I get a different answer. Why would society as a whole not be resistant? Note, this isn't such a problem for trans men, because women are the fairer sex, and they fought hard for the rights and protections they have.
What I'm saying is, I don't see many people too bothered by how others want to live their lives. However, when we (the public) start to get demands on our own rights and norms, then it becomes an issue. You can't insist people go along with your choices, especially when they're out of the norm. Keep in mind, men living as women isn't a new thing, it's gone for forever. The difference now seems to be the surgery, the availability of drugs, and the internet bringing together like-minded folk.
I am also aware that most of the cost of the transgender movement seems to fall to women. Women must give up their right to privacy from the male sex when using a restroom. Women must give up a fair go at competitive sports, etc. Hell, women can't even be sure they don't live with males in female prisons.
All that said, I don't have anything against people who make the choice to live as though they were the opposite sex. Personally I'll treat them like everyone else. When I meet people, particularly strangers, I don't do a deep analysis of how they look, I react by instinct and initial impressions that may include nothing more than a casual glance. If the person strikes me as being of the male sex, then they're a "he". If the female sex, it's a "she". I'm not part of the trans movement, so I likely lack the awareness.
This may seem like stubbornness, or being rude, but I really don't see it that way. I'm just going about my life as I always have. Of course, this is underpinned by the belief that there are only two sexes, male and female, and your biological sex is determined in the womb. There's nothing you can do about it (excepting the very small minority of biological defects at birth).