Living alone have family and friends but very alone

Not everyone can afford to switch their phone service to "all distance", but we do have email anyway.

There used to be a way to talk long distance through the computers. Quite a few years ago, I did it, but no way can I remember how. It was so long ago it was through a dial-up isp connection (AOL). I wonder if it can still be done? You might be able to use Skype or Face Talk?

You can still do this, if your phone is set up for wi-fi and you have wi-fi in your home. You just have to link up the phone to the wi-fi connection. I use my cell that way if I am at home, because using it with wi-fi doesn't use up minutes. Every brand of phone has a different way to set it up, so you'd have to look on the net or call your cell phone carrier to figure out how to it. I have an LG smartphone and my carrier is T-mobile and the setup required about two easy steps. I guess you could look in your phone's manual, but the print in mine is smaller than the directions on an Excedrin bottle, so it is useless to me.
 

WhatInThe

Well-known Member
Know someone who can't wait to go into a retirement home for people. They still drive and are active but they want regular daily contact with people. Apparently activities, groups etc aren't enough. They get frustrated at others for not wanting to go out to restaurants, bars, events etc. Some children haven't visited in years.

They ostracized their children and others over the decades to the point where they wouldn't even stay with them after being hospitalized & recuperating at home. One visited once a week. One had a great job with paid time off, family leave etc yet would not visit/help. Another immersed in their issues/lifestyle. All of their children miss or avoid visiting on holidays at various times.

In some respects it's karma because they were always very snobbish and anal(can only imagine what kind of attitude was left with their children growing up) But if you want to be around people you have to work at it beyond calls and emails. Say hi to a neighbor or regular employees and customers at a store, gym, bank etc. Apparently organized or scheduled activities not cutting it anymore.

Even in the senior years one can make new friends which ironically they made little effort to do until now.
 
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and am hoping someone is listening. I can tell you a little about myself, I live in Texas, I work in an elementary school I love working on my yard. My husband passed away a few years ago, but when I feel alone I have my grandson to keep me company. However there are times he is busy because he makes movies, but his success makes me proud and understanding. I have other children and grandchildren, but I never get a call to see how I’m doing just what they need usually. Thought maybe I could make some friends on here.
 

I'mnotdeadyet

Member
Location
SE Michigan
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and am hoping someone is listening. I can tell you a little about myself, I live in Texas, I work in an elementary school I love working on my yard. My husband passed away a few years ago, but when I feel alone I have my grandson to keep me company. However there are times he is busy because he makes movies, but his success makes me proud and understanding. I have other children and grandchildren, but I never get a call to see how I’m doing just what they need usually. Thought maybe I could make some friends on here.
Welcome aboard. I'm not that long here myself.

I'm ashamed to say I was that 20 minute-away son who didn't called for long periods, but I rectified that and was a better person for both my parents for the last several years before their deaths.

My wife is very close to our grandkids, she watches them weekly for their parents. They are currently 5 and 7. I am trying to warn her that as they grow, there will be less desire to see Meemaw. She says she knows, but I can't help feeling she'll be crushed when the day comes.
 

Pinky

SF VIP
Location
Toronto
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and am hoping someone is listening. I can tell you a little about myself, I live in Texas, I work in an elementary school I love working on my yard. My husband passed away a few years ago, but when I feel alone I have my grandson to keep me company. However there are times he is busy because he makes movies, but his success makes me proud and understanding. I have other children and grandchildren, but I never get a call to see how I’m doing just what they need usually. Thought maybe I could make some friends on here.
Welcome from Toronto @SenoraDiamanteTex
toronto gif.gif
 

Morningglory

New Member
Location
Missouri
I hear you morning glory! I too am alone most of the time. I find the freinds I do have are always busy with thier relatives.
I have one son nearby that I seldom see. He never married. The son I was close to at one time lives a thousand miles away.
I have found over the years, that I mostly only hear from friends when they want something.

I volunteered for a few years through community services but found many shamelessly took advantage of that.

Now I am quite used to being alone most of the time but it is nice to be able to communicate online once in awhile.

I'm fortunate I still have pretty good health and still enjoy gardening and keeping my house looking respectable, going for walks, etc
but computers certainly do help tremendously to fill our time don't they!
Hi Leslie, good to see you on here, it has been a blessing to me!
 

Morningglory

New Member
Location
Missouri
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and am hoping someone is listening. I can tell you a little about myself, I live in Texas, I work in an elementary school I love working on my yard. My husband passed away a few years ago, but when I feel alone I have my grandson to keep me company. However there are times he is busy because he makes movies, but his success makes me proud and understanding. I have other children and grandchildren, but I never get a call to see how I’m doing just what they need usually. Thought maybe I could make some friends on here.
Hello, yes I would love to be your friend! Text anytime 😊
 

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
Hey SenoraDiamanteTex .. .. good to have you here.. and Welcome from London. This is a good bunch of people on here by and large, so I don't think you'll have any trouble making friends. :D Please join in any discussion that takes your fancy..
 

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
Hi Hollydolly, so far good! I was sick in and out of hospital 4x last year, how have you been?
Oh I'm sorry to hear that , I hope everything's settled down now and you're well again. I was poorly myself last year , still seeing the consultant now... but hopefully I'm getting better, and I always have my friends here to keep me going.. (y)..Do you have any hobbies?... on my good days I like to go and take photos.. we've got a photo thread on this forum, you may want to go and have a look at it :giggle:
 
Living alone with health problems are very hard sometimes, I don't like to ask for help , everyone has their busy life's to live, thanks to a daughter that takes me to my appointments but no time in between, another daughter has family and very busy, another daughter that lives 1800 miles away and no contact, my son the youngest was killed 11 yrs ago this past July 5 .. I miss him every day he had more time for me then the girls, so life gets very lonely, have 9 grandchildren never see but 2 of them rarely.
Why does getting old have to hurt .
Seems we still have growing pains even at our ages. It will be alright though Morningglory. Seems to me I recall reading this somewhere. :) Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.
 

DaveA

Senior Member
IMHO we sew the seeds of family closeness years before we become aged. Even when our kids are youngsters and we're "in our prime". How many times do we hear (on sites such as this), we're moving to "X" and the kids are on their own or "they're 18 now, my job is done - -time for us to enjoy life". As we near the end of the trail, we forget these pronouncements regarding "finally being on our own". Move to wherever we choose - -no more ties to bind us.

At the time, we're proud of these statements. Later on, we wonder where the kids are and why they're not around to help. They may have paid attention and learned from us. "My folks walked away from me. That's the just the way our family is." They chose to distance themselves then - -I'm making the same choice now.

And yes, this is a generality and every case is different but more times than not, family distancing is more often reflection of how or what did as parents, and for better or worse, the lessons that our children learned from us.
 
Last edited:

Aneeda72

Well-known Member
IMHO we sew the seeds of family closeness years before we become aged. Even when our kids are youngsters and we're "in our prime". How many times do we hear (on sites such as this), we're moving to "X" and the kids are on their own or "they're 18 now, my job is done - -time for us to enjoy life". As we near the end of the trail, we forget these pronouncements regarding "finally being on our own". Move to wherever we choose - -no more ties to bind us.

At the time, we're proud of these statements. Later on, we wonder where the kids are and why they're not around to help. They may have paid attention and learned from us. "My folks walked away from me. That's the just the way our family is." They chose to distance themselves then - -I'm making the same choice now.

And yes, this is a generality and every case is different but more times than not, family distancing is more often reflection of how or what did as parents, and for better or worse, the lessons that our children learned from us.
I disagree. Children have their own lives to live-work, their growing families, the complications of the current times, it’s life, living, that gets in the way of family closeness. We truly lack the time to interact. In simpler times, we had time.
 
IMHO we sew the seeds of family closeness years before we become aged. Even when our kids are youngsters and we're "in our prime". How many times do we hear (on sites such as this), we're moving to "X" and the kids are on their own or "they're 18 now, my job is done - -time for us to enjoy life". As we near the end of the trail, we forget these pronouncements regarding "finally being on our own". Move to wherever we choose - -no more ties to bind us.

At the time, we're proud of these statements. Later on, we wonder where the kids are and why they're not around to help. They may have paid attention and learned from us. "My folks walked away from me. That's the just the way our family is." They chose to distance themselves then - -I'm making the same choice now.

And yes, this is a generality and every case is different but more times than not, family distancing is more often reflection of how or what did as parents, and for better or worse, the lessons that our children learned from us.
I have always noted that closer knit families have less lonely elderly folks than those who decide their job is done. My mother used to always tell me she would always be my mother. She would always worry. Her job would never end as far as that went. We lost her last summer. Shortly after that we had to put pop in the old folks home. We haven't been able to go see him with this stuff this year. If something should happen he will be on his own. My sister and I won't be allowed in to even say goodbye.
 

Aneeda72

Well-known Member
Hi Pinky I have a daughter in Elpaso tx don't see or hear from much 😥
My daughter is in El Paso as well. It’s such a bummer. I am sorry you dont hear from her much. My daughter forgot my birthday this year. 😥. First time ever. But she is a busy person so I decided not to mention it to her. I would rather feel bad that she missed it than have her feel bad that she forgot. 🤓
 

needshave

Member
Location
Ohio
Hello Morning glory,
I hope you're well. This may have been addressed already, I'm not sure and I didn't have time to go thru all the previous postings, but I just wanted to provide an idea that may or may not work for you.

Are you associated with the senior services in your area, meals on wheels? Have you investigated those folks and talked to them?
Here is why I ask....I deliver meals on wheels and Help with the delivery of clients to and from doctors visits. Its a great program. I know that some of the folks I deliver to await us to deliver for conversation, they really look forward to our visit. We typically don't have a lot of time due to our schedule but we try to allow a few minutes at each stop. We are at their household 5 days a week. It provides some relief and exposure to other folks and we try to help with mechanical assists that may be needed around the house hold. ( hand rails, ramps, Etc- we provide and install) We have a network of people that provide road service to and from doctor appointments, as well as have phone contact to check on clients if there is a suspected issue.

I hope it all goes well for you and I thought I would offer my comments for your thoughts.
 


Top