Living alone have family and friends but very alone

OneEyedDiva

Well-known Member
Location
New Jersey
Hello MorningGlory. I see your post was from two years ago, so I'm glad you're still on the forum. My condolences on the loss of your son. Nothing is worse than losing a child. A good suggestion was made by @needshave regarding the meals on wheels and affiliated programs which might prove beneficial for you. We have the same types of programs here in N.J. I didn't get meals on wheels at home but joined a senior center in 2019. Members who attended the center couldn't get meals on wheels because it was the same program, sponsored by the county senior program. That program also provided transportation to and from the center as well as various trips including grocery shopping, indoor camp site for socializing with other senior centers and even a dinner theater trip once annually. Since COVID, the center shut down for an undetermined amount of time but I think the transportation program called Access Link is still operational to get seniors to their doctors appointments.

I hope you will find a way to make friends and combat your loneliness. @needshave I was wondering if COVID has halted or altered your delivery and transportation schedules?
 

Lewkat

Well-known Member
Location
New Jersey, USA
When I was 17, I left home for college and never looked back per se, but I knew I had the love and support of my parents. They grudgingly allowed me to chart my own course. I was there for them when they needed me as I felt I should be. Now, I've done the same with my son. I sent him on his own, but he wasn't one to go happily, and he has made a resounding success of his life. I am extremely proud of him and we keep in touch daily via phone. I try to visit him at least once every month or 2 months. Other than that, I actually do love living alone and am just as happy with having my dog around. She's loyal as can be. My boy and I only have one another these days, but his sister in law keeps in touch with us and we do get together over the holidays. His father in law also sees us then as well. But at his home not the home his daughter shared with my son. It still hurts too much.
 

needshave

Member
Location
Ohio
Hello MorningGlory. I see your post was from two years ago, so I'm glad you're still on the forum. My condolences on the loss of your son. Nothing is worse than losing a child. A good suggestion was made by @needshave regarding the meals on wheels and affiliated programs which might prove beneficial for you. We have the same types of programs here in N.J. I didn't get meals on wheels at home but joined a senior center in 2019. Members who attended the center couldn't get meals on wheels because it was the same program, sponsored by the county senior program. That program also provided transportation to and from the center as well as various trips including grocery shopping, indoor camp site for socializing with other senior centers and even a dinner theater trip once annually. Since COVID, the center shut down for an undetermined amount of time but I think the transportation program called Access Link is still operational to get seniors to their doctors appointments.

I hope you will find a way to make friends and combat your loneliness. @needshave I was wondering if COVID has halted or altered your delivery and transportation schedules?
Diva,
I'm a volunteer that deliveries meals for meals on wheels. Our center has a complete food service luncheon area where hot meals are served to between 100 - 150 people per day. Unfortunately the center is closed for the indefinite future. Meal delivery is still ongoing, we always wear mask and there are some where we have Boxes outside the residence and put the meals in the box then wait, return to our vehicle and await for that individual to pick up the meals. Many are hot meals, some are frozen. If we don't get a response we call, if no answer we do not leave the meal. Doctor appointment services is still on going, but it is more complicated in that we can not help people inside the doctors office. at this point simply driving. All outside social events, diners, trips, and classes are closed. The gym did open up briefly but an individual attending reported Covid symptoms and that section is again closed. But phone banks are ongoing and contact is made to our seniors on a daily basis. If a situation is reported family and local health authorities are informed.
 

Morningglory

New Member
Location
Missouri
Hello Morning glory,
I hope you're well. This may have been addressed already, I'm not sure and I didn't have time to go thru all the previous postings, but I just wanted to provide an idea that may or may not work for you.

Are you associated with the senior services in your area, meals on wheels? Have you investigated those folks and talked to them?
Here is why I ask....I deliver meals on wheels and Help with the delivery of clients to and from doctors visits. Its a great program. I know that some of the folks I deliver to await us to deliver for conversation, they really look forward to our visit. We typically don't have a lot of time due to our schedule but we try to allow a few minutes at each stop. We are at their household 5 days a week. It provides some relief and exposure to other folks and we try to help with mechanical assists that may be needed around the house hold. ( hand rails, ramps, Etc- we provide and install) We have a network of people that provide road service to and from doctor appointments, as well as have phone contact to check on clients if there is a suspected issue.

I hope it all goes well for you and I thought I would offer my comments for your thoughts.
Hello, thanks for your information I was getting meals on wheels but last year the service stopped due to funds, they do frozen meals for a week at a time I don't have a freezer to keep them in summer so may start in winter can leave on screened in porch 😊
 

Morningglory

New Member
Location
Missouri
Hello MorningGlory. I see your post was from two years ago, so I'm glad you're still on the forum. My condolences on the loss of your son. Nothing is worse than losing a child. A good suggestion was made by @needshave regarding the meals on wheels and affiliated programs which might prove beneficial for you. We have the same types of programs here in N.J. I didn't get meals on wheels at home but joined a senior center in 2019. Members who attended the center couldn't get meals on wheels because it was the same program, sponsored by the county senior program. That program also provided transportation to and from the center as well as various trips including grocery shopping, indoor camp site for socializing with other senior centers and even a dinner theater trip once annually. Since COVID, the center shut down for an undetermined amount of time but I think the transportation program called Access Link is still operational to get seniors to their doctors appointments.

I hope you will find a way to make friends and combat your loneliness. @needshave I was wondering if COVID has halted or altered your delivery and transportation schedules?
Thank you for your information..😊
 

Irene

New Member
Hi everyone. Looks like a real friendly bunch. Regarding the cell phone issue, I changed from Verizon to Consumer Cellular about 6 months ago and love it. I cut my cell phone bill from Verizon by more than half! Of course, you have to have or buy a compatible phone. I got 2 Apple 6s phones for $150 each (great price). I initially got my husband a flip phone (which he was used to) but they are such terrible, thick clunky things he hated it. He now occassionally says he hates the iPhone (just kidding, well not really, once in a while he does get frustrated) ;-)
The cost is only $54 a month, unlimited (for both lines!!). I think it is a real great deal so thought I'd share my experience. And relatively problem free, very rarely low bars.
God bless you all!
(and I would love to have people to call/chat with if anyone comes up with a listing of people who would like to do this. I didn't read through all the pages, so maybe someone already has.)
 

Morningglory

New Member
Location
Missouri
When I was 17, I left home for college and never looked back per se, but I knew I had the love and support of my parents. They grudgingly allowed me to chart my own course. I was there for them when they needed me as I felt I should be. Now, I've done the same with my son. I sent him on his own, but he wasn't one to go happily, and he has made a resounding success of his life. I am extremely proud of him and we keep in touch daily via phone. I try to visit him at least once every month or 2 months. Other than that, I actually do love living alone and am just as happy with having my dog around. She's loyal as can be. My boy and I only have one another these days, but his sister in law keeps in touch with us and we do get together over the holidays. His father in law also sees us then as well. But at his home not the home his daughter shared with my son. It still hurts too much.
I want to say hello, to @Morningglory ! 🙋‍♀️

And also, welcome to @SenoraDiamanteTex ! 🙂
Hi Kaila, how are you doing?
 

Kaila

SF VIP
Thanks for asking about me, twice in a row.... Morningglory! :ROFLMAO:

That gave me both a smile, and a laugh, which I am always grateful for! :)

I am doing okay. It isn't easy having my medical difficulties and limitations, and I have only 2 family members left.
I am thankful for them, yet one I rarely have contact with, and the other is the only person I generally see or talk with.
So I get lonely too.

I am so sorry about your son, and also the daughter who doesn't keep up contact with you. I understand, and I think it's great that you've tried reaching out here. You seem like a nice and friendly person, doing your best.
Nice to meet you!
 

Morningglory

New Member
Location
Missouri
Hi everyone. Looks like a real friendly bunch. Regarding the cell phone issue, I changed from Verizon to Consumer Cellular about 6 months ago and love it. I cut my cell phone bill from Verizon by more than half! Of course, you have to have or buy a compatible phone. I got 2 Apple 6s phones for $150 each (great price). I initially got my husband a flip phone (which he was used to) but they are such terrible, thick clunky things he hated it. He now occassionally says he hates the iPhone (just kidding, well not really, once in a while he does get frustrated) ;-)
The cost is only $54 a month, unlimited (for both lines!!). I think it is a real great deal so thought I'd share my experience. And relatively problem free, very rarely low bars.
God bless you all!
(and I would love to have people to call/chat with if anyone comes up with a listing of people who would like to do this. I didn't read through all the pages, so maybe someone already has.)
Hi Irene, I would love to chat with you some time 😊
 
Living alone with health problems are very hard sometimes, I don't like to ask for help , everyone has their busy life's to live, thanks to a daughter that takes me to my appointments but no time in between, another daughter has family and very busy, another daughter that lives 1800 miles away and no contact, my son the youngest was killed 11 yrs ago this past July 5 .. I miss him every day he had more time for me then the girls, so life gets very lonely, have 9 grandchildren never see but 2 of them rarely.
Why does getting old have to hurt .
That's why forums like this one are so important, when you get up in the morning, you know that there are people just like you one click away. :)
 

Kathleen’s Place

Senior Member
Location
Wisconsin
Living alone with health problems are very hard sometimes, I don't like to ask for help , everyone has their busy life's to live, thanks to a daughter that takes me to my appointments but no time in between, another daughter has family and very busy, another daughter that lives 1800 miles away and no contact, my son the youngest was killed 11 yrs ago this past July 5 .. I miss him every day he had more time for me then the girls, so life gets very lonely, have 9 grandchildren never see but 2 of them rarely.
Why does getting old have to hurt .
Good question, morning glory. First of all, (((MorningGlory))) so very sorry about the tragic loss of your son. And I’m sorry the rest of the kids and grands are too busy for you too 😔
I recently befriended a 74 year old lady in a similar situation. Actually her daughter contacted me to see if I could help her Mom because she was at the end of her rope. The Mom lives in a senior apt.,trusts absolutely no one, and lives completely in the past. Still very VERY bitter over a divorce that happened 35 years ago. Her mind races a million miles an hour as do her conversations. She needs knee surgery but will never have it, nor probably should she as she would never do the exercise needed afterwards. She also has heart trouble. She was THE best at anything she did when she was younger, I don’t care what it was, she was the best. Men lusted after her...you catch my drift? This is where her mind is 24/7. She’s lonely, has no one to talk to except me, and I understand why. Our phone conversations aare at LEAST 2 1/2 hrs long each time. I just mostly listen, she needs to talk. I agree with mostly whatever she is babbling about, tell her how proud she should be of herself for walking away from an abusive marriage all those years ago, laugh at things she says...which really tickles her. So bit by slow bit I’m gaining her trust. We’re at the point that it is HER suggestion that we get some boxes and together start working on apartment. My heart aches for her... I can’t even imagine living like she does, filled with negativity, bitterness over past deeds. How can she ever move forward??? It takes me a good half our to settle down after our phone calls.
now where was I going with all of this? I know this isn’t you, but the loneliness is. I think friends our same age is the key answer. Kids don’t understand what we are going through and some of them don’t want to. Is it ossible for you to move some place where their are others in a similar situation? Where you can talk about the good old days? About your past life and experiences? Complain about aches and pains and the others will fully understand and share the same???? I wish this so much for you. Getting old IS hard, but we can make it a better, I think, if we try ❤️
 

garyt1957

Member
Is it anger they are displaying?...or frustration maybe? I think as with many aging problems, if the others are younger, or even older and never had any problems, they just do not understand. Just like when we move slower, they still have a more youthful mobility, so to them we are annoying.

So in your case [short term memory problem] ?...they don't understand, because they have not experienced it. And may never.
You just have to be patient with people. My Dad is 96 and yes he asks the same questions over and over. I just try to answer it as if it's the first time I heard it but it can get difficult. We play cards (pinochle) a couple times a week and he's constantly asking "What is trump?" like every two minutes. It's annoying but you just go with it and answer.
I feel bad for older folks who live alone but don't get many family visits. I bought my parents a house 7 houses down from ours so we could take care of them as they aged. My Mom passed but Dad still lives there at 96. I go over 3 times a day to spend some time and give him somebody to talk to, and watch sports events . I think he'd go nuts sitting alone in the house all the time.
 

Camper6

Well-known Member
There sure is. Without paying for the long distance service, if you dial a number that is outside of your area, for example, another state, you get this funny tone and then a message saying something about you not having that service. So it doesn't work.
For those who need occasional long distance not covered in their plan.
It's best to buy a prepaid long distance card. Very inexpensive. But read the fine print. Get one that doesn't expire or charge you if you don't use it.
 


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