Making New Friends When Single and Alone

I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site. In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs. Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left. That consists of a few cousins. We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally. They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along. I am never included in their activities. They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.

Consequently I am utterly alone. I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.

So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc. This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.
Welcome aboard. There is a good mix of nice people here.
 
I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site. In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs. Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left. That consists of a few cousins. We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally. They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along. I am never included in their activities. They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.

Consequently I am utterly alone. I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.

So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc. This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.
Extending a warm welcome to you, DeAnn. 🤗
 

I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site. In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs. Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left. That consists of a few cousins. We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally. They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along. I am never included in their activities. They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.

Consequently I am utterly alone. I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.

So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc. This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.

Welcome from another traditional introvert. ;)
 
This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.

So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again. At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.

I now have a garage parking space so I can go out here at any hour I want and still get a space to park. I'm thinking of going out to a nice restaurant that has outdoor dining and see if there are any others there alone, too. I think I need to try some new strategies while I'm still alive and kickin'. I have been fully vaccinated so I'm not afraid much to be around others in public except for large groups or crowds and I think that's a healthy fear.

I have put another ad on a website to try and meet someone and I'm very smart about it and don't give out my personal information right away until I can trust that the person responding is who they say they are. I'm not naïve and would not fall for someone who is trying to scam and I know all the signs to look for.

And also if anyone likes they can start a conversation with me here if they'd like to chat about things instead of posting in this thread.

Everyone's feedback is valuable in my book!
I am trying to figure this out..are you looking for both male companionship and female friends? From the post I gather you want both?
Of course, meeting females just might help with the search for men friends too. :unsure:

I am kind of in the position of looking for friends...I do great on my own, but I like being around and talking with/to people. My husband and I moved from California to Florida a few years ago to be near my daughter. Then my hubby's health deteriorated and he died...then Covid... so I never met very many people here.
I wish you all the best in your search..Interesting idea to dine alone...I had never thought of that but maybe others have? Good that you to remember to be cautious..there are a lot of kooks out there!!:(
 
This is a well thought out thread, Ruthanne......Thank you.
I guess my story is in a different stage than yours.
After my divorce 5 years ago......i had "0" intentions for looking for a partner.
At that time i enrolled on to a friendship site, they had a dating section, but.....didn't use it.
Got to know a gentleman, we had great conversations, and seemed to have a lot in common.
We continued on for quite some time.
His family back in Holland were in need of him for help and support......was gone for just over a year, arrived back in Canada just before the pandemic hit......didn't have a lot of contact during that time.
As the time he returned.....we continued with our relationship.
And we are now here.....planning for our future together.
He came out of retirement, and went back to trucking.......with Covid restrictions.......truckers are essential.......able to enter borders.
He lives on Prince Edward Island.......will list his house for sale and move here.

@Ruthanne I so hope i'm not hijacking your thread......

Congrats and best wished for the future...one never knows what the 'universe' will bring...we just need to be open to possibilities I guess.

I like the idea of a friendship site..is it kind of like this forum or it specifically geared for those 'looking for friends' ???
I would join that 😀
 
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Congrats and best wished for the future...one never knows what the 'universe' will bring...we just need to be open to possibilities I guess.

I like the idea of a friendship site..is it kind of like this forum or it specifically geared for those 'looking for friends' ???
I would join that.
Thank you, Serenity, for your wishes, very much appreciated.
I Love this site, SF, because it's a great place to be, no pressure, learn a lot, caring, support and friendship.
I guess if two people meet here.... and want to expand on their friendship.....they're free to do so, away from here, happy for anyone that finds happiness.
The site i was on, and met my Love.......i guess part of it was for looking for that special someone.....never explored that.
BUT
Had a lot of great conversations with female and male, with nothing other than friendship.
We had taken our growing relationship to another place for extended communication.
Not in my wildest dreams, had i thought that something like this would happen to my life.....i wasn't looking before him.....and if he hadn't appeared.....i still would have not looked, he felt the same.

Serenity.....this is, IMO, the best place for friendship.
 
I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site. In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs. Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left. That consists of a few cousins. We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally. They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along. I am never included in their activities. They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.

Consequently I am utterly alone. I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.

"So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc." This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.
 
There are many of us in similar situations of needing to make new in-person friends who live in our area and need ideas on specific ways to do this, preferably from those who have successfully done it. Living in a senior complex would seem to be a better opportunity than living alone in a house, but I can see the problems posted here by those who live in senior apartment complexes and have unwanted intrusions on their time. Many of us have also tried the Internet dating sites with unpleasant results. The only organizations I've found that advertise senior social groups where casual contacts may be made are the larger progressive churches. I had every intention of exploring this before the pandemic hit, and now I'm reluctant to make the effort. I think the year of isolation made it hard to switch gears and try to be social again.
 
There are many of us in similar situations of needing to make new in-person friends who live in our area and need ideas on specific ways to do this, preferably from those who have successfully done it. Living in a senior complex would seem to be a better opportunity than living alone in a house, but I can see the problems posted here by those who live in senior apartment complexes and have unwanted intrusions on their time. Many of us have also tried the Internet dating sites with unpleasant results. The only organizations I've found that advertise senior social groups where casual contacts may be made are the larger progressive churches. I had every intention of exploring this before the pandemic hit, and now I'm reluctant to make the effort. I think the year of isolation made it hard to switch gears and try to be social again.
I've heard that from a lot of people, there are too many unwanted intrusions on their time in the seniors-only complexes. What might help, if possible, is moving to an apartment not for seniors but just for 18 and over. I've talked to people who've lived in such places who've said it was like there was nobody else living there 40+ hours a week since most of the other residents were at work. Something to look into if that's what you're looking for.
 
Yes. While general good wishes and general positive platitudes are nice, I think many of use would enjoy some specific information about specific places and specific actions that have actually worked for the person discussing it.
Very well said, TabbyAnn.
I wholeheartedly agree. 👍
 
I seriously need to make a few friends myself. I have ONE, and my only living relative (son and his wife) are 11 hours drive away, tho I do talk to him every day, thankfully.

I don't think I even know how to make friends any more. I think the best for me would be to go to places - meetings or get togethers - that center around my interests, but I'm still leery of the pandemic issues and haven't found any anyway. My county used to have senior services and had various functions for seniors, but I think all that was abandoned. I'll have to check.

Sigh. I do pretty well as a loner, but not interminably, ya know?
 
I seriously need to make a few friends myself. I have ONE, and my only living relative (son and his wife) are 11 hours drive away, tho I do talk to him every day, thankfully.

I don't think I even know how to make friends any more. I think the best for me would be to go to places - meetings or get togethers - that center around my interests, but I'm still leery of the pandemic issues and haven't found any anyway. My county used to have senior services and had various functions for seniors, but I think all that was abandoned. I'll have to check.

Sigh. I do pretty well as a loner, but not interminably, ya know?
Hi. I, too, have one offline friend and he is on oxygen and has many illnesses and now his memory is getting very bad--I'd be afraid to ask him over for fear he'd get in an accident coming this far--he lives about 25 mi. away. That's cool you talk to someone every day.

About making new friends--I think just be yourself, and you seem like a nice friendly person. I, too, am still leery with the pandemic--I think so many are. I was just thinking how this pandemic has caused us all to be so fearful--I know I am very, at least. This forum is a nice place to interact with others too. I come here to have some social interaction with the friendly members.

So you are a loner? I have been for so long I forgot I could be anything else.
 
Hi. I, too, have one offline friend and he is on oxygen and has many illnesses and now his memory is getting very bad--I'd be afraid to ask him over for fear he'd get in an accident coming this far--he lives about 25 mi. away. That's cool you talk to someone every day.

About making new friends--I think just be yourself, and you seem like a nice friendly person. I, too, am still leery with the pandemic--I think so many are. I was just thinking how this pandemic has caused us all to be so fearful--I know I am very, at least. This forum is a nice place to interact with others too. I come here to have some social interaction with the friendly members.

So you are a loner? I have been for so long I forgot I could be anything else.
Oh, thank you. I am a nice friendly person (except of course when I'm not - LOL). I'm a little shy though.

And yes, I'm quite grateful my son checks in on me daily. Sometimes we talk for a while, sometimes just barely touch base. Fortunately, we have a number of things in common to discuss, and seem to have found ways to squelch some of the flare-ups we used to endure even as recently as a couple of years ago. I'll probably get to see him and my lovely DIL the 2nd weekend in July - not firmed up yet, but I'm excited.

Sorry your friend would have a difficult time visiting. Have you asked him about it? Could you visit him? Truly 25 miles isn't that far, depending on the terrain (all highway, or all city?). Just a thought.

Thanks so much for your response, Ruthanne. I appreciate it very much.
 
Oh, thank you. I am a nice friendly person (except of course when I'm not - LOL). I'm a little shy though.

And yes, I'm quite grateful my son checks in on me daily. Sometimes we talk for a while, sometimes just barely touch base. Fortunately, we have a number of things in common to discuss, and seem to have found ways to squelch some of the flare-ups we used to endure even as recently as a couple of years ago. I'll probably get to see him and my lovely DIL the 2nd weekend in July - not firmed up yet, but I'm excited.

Sorry your friend would have a difficult time visiting. Have you asked him about it? Could you visit him? Truly 25 miles isn't that far, depending on the terrain (all highway, or all city?). Just a thought.

Thanks so much for your response, Ruthanne. I appreciate it very much.
I may ask my friend about it and see how his memory is doing now. I have a real beater car and don't feel safe traveling that far as I mainly stay in my city or very nearby-within 15 mi.

That's nice your son and you have lots in common and enjoy talking to each other. I wish I had someone to talk to on the phone every day. My family and I are not real close.

I hope you enjoy chatting on this site as much as I have come to!
 
Hi. I, too, have one offline friend and he is on oxygen and has many illnesses and now his memory is getting very bad--I'd be afraid to ask him over for fear he'd get in an accident coming this far--he lives about 25 mi. away. That's cool you talk to someone every day.

About making new friends--I think just be yourself, and you seem like a nice friendly person. I, too, am still leery with the pandemic--I think so many are. I was just thinking how this pandemic has caused us all to be so fearful--I know I am very, at least. This forum is a nice place to interact with others too. I come here to have some social interaction with the friendly members.

So you are a loner? I have been for so long I forgot I could be anything else.
IMO there is nothing sad about being a loner.
 


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