Making New Friends When Single and Alone

You sound like a really cool lady Ruthanne. And street smart, too.

Keep us posted on your adventures and misadventures. We can turn this into The Bachelorette senior online edition. :) We will vote on who's the best bachelor for you. Just kidding. But I'm actually excited for you.

Anyway, here's the best dating advice I've heard: If you're looking for a serious relationship, don't emotionally invest in a guy based on how much you like him but on how much he emotionally invests in you. So, if he's not committing, keep on dating. Good luck!
 

Ruthanne said:
This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.

So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again. At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.

I now have a garage parking space so I can go out here at any hour I want and still get a space to park. I'm thinking of going out to a nice restaurant that has outdoor dining and see if there are any others there alone, too. I think I need to try some new strategies while I'm still alive and kickin'. I have been fully vaccinated so I'm not afraid much to be around others in public except for large groups or crowds and I think that's a healthy fear.

I have put another ad on a website to try and meet someone and I'm very smart about it and don't give out my personal information right away until I can trust that the person responding is who they say they are. I'm not naïve and would not fall for someone who is trying to scam and I know all the signs to look for.

And also if anyone likes they can start a conversation with me here if they'd like to chat about things instead of posting in this thread.

Everyone's feedback is valuable in my book!
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Ruthanne said:
This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.

So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again. At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.

I now have a garage parking space so I can go out here at any hour I want and still get a space to park. I'm thinking of going out to a nice restaurant that has outdoor dining and see if there are any others there alone, too. I think I need to try some new strategies while I'm still alive and kickin'. I have been fully vaccinated so I'm not afraid much to be around others in public except for large groups or crowds and I think that's a healthy fear.

I have put another ad on a website to try and meet someone and I'm very smart about it and don't give out my personal information right away until I can trust that the person responding is who they say they are. I'm not naïve and would not fall for someone who is trying to scam and I know all the signs to look for.

And also if anyone likes they can start a conversation with me here if they'd like to chat about things instead of posting in this thread.

Everyone's feedback is valuable in my book!
Click to expand...
I'm new here but i hear you. I'm 70 almost 71. Former Marine Corps. My wife passed away seven years ago. Lucky me, I've got kids and grand kids in the area i live in, but there is a void. I feel sometimes like a companion to do things with would be lovely, but it seems that many folks are afraid of one another to a degree. I don't blame them. But not eveyone is out to use or abuse me either. I'm not stupid, but i can understand their concerns. Especially if they are women.
Hopefully you'll find someone to eat out, go to a movie,with or just have coffee a walk and good night.
I just bought a nice home here in Western Colorado and its not like I don't have things to do. But, adults conversation would be nice sometimes.
I hope you find what you're looking for. Take care.
 

I spent 11 years on my own between 1975 - 1986 with young children I was not interested in in meeting anyone till my youngest was about 11 - 12 I was far to busy raising the children to bother with anyone I can tell you there was sleaze bags out there then and always will be.
Ive been remarried since 1987 so if I was left on my own I honestly couldn’t be bothered with anyone else ,Living under the same roof.

I ( we) know more than 1/2 dozen “couples“ through our hobby of ballroom dancing who go out dancing/ general social venues / holidays together but still live in their own homes which are mostly Independent living units in retirement villages.
IMO they have the best of both worlds have a companion and their own space.

I have a question for those who are alone is there social activities you could attend like a senior activity centre ? Our dancing is held at a senior centre where there is lots of actives or volunteering at such centres .
I honestly feel for anyone who’s been totally isolated for months due to COVID
 
There are good men out there but the trick is to find them. Use common sense, don't rush, don't appear desperate and use what is called a "gut" feeling. Watch out for red flags (asking about money, wanting to sleep with you on the 1st date and just talking about how wonderful he is the whole evening without asking about you) and you'll be OK! Best of luck.
 
Ruthanne said:
This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.

So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again. At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.

I now have a garage parking space so I can go out here at any hour I want and still get a space to park. I'm thinking of going out to a nice restaurant that has outdoor dining and see if there are any others there alone, too. I think I need to try some new strategies while I'm still alive and kickin'. I have been fully vaccinated so I'm not afraid much to be around others in public except for large groups or crowds and I think that's a healthy fear.

I have put another ad on a website to try and meet someone and I'm very smart about it and don't give out my personal information right away until I can trust that the person responding is who they say they are. I'm not naïve and would not fall for someone who is trying to scam and I know all the signs to look for.

And also if anyone likes they can start a conversation with me here if they'd like to chat about things instead of posting in this thread.

Everyone's feedback is valuable in my book!
Click to expand...
I, too, want to make some friends! I live in a small town that's fairly clubby and inbred. I travel for my living and so after moving here, I wasn't around enough to make friends. I'm backing my business down and have more time at home and would love to meet people. Thinking of joining a senior center...I just don't really know how to begin... I'm in southeast Wisconsin.
 
Old Dummy said:
I have a bit of a different problem, Ruthanne. I’m 70, live in a rural area, and am looking for new lunch buddies. One is 80, another is 86, they’re both still getting around but who knows for how long?

I know a lot of people in the area, but none that would fall into the daily lunch buddy category very well. I’ve known these guys for 20-30 years.

Life doesn’t get any easier.
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Where are you located? I would love a lunch buddy!
 
Retired to the country side near two small villages not knowing anybody. Having worked here and there many of my friends are scattered globally so keeping in touch is by email. I find walking the border collie puppy gets me out and chatting with people on our walks. once he is older (and covid behind us) may look at volunteering , a bridge group etc. Personally i find it easy for myself to read and do chores on the acerage and not interact too much so for the puppy has been a blessing
 
DeAnn said:
I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site. In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs. Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left. That consists of a few cousins. We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally. They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along. I am never included in their activities. They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.

Consequently I am utterly alone. I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.

So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc. This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.
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Hello DeAnn, How are you? sounds like a lot of us is in the same boat
 
DeAnn said:
I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site. In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs. Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left. That consists of a few cousins. We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally. They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along. I am never included in their activities. They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.

Consequently I am utterly alone. I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.

So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc. This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.
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Hello DeAnn, this is a good place to find new friends.
 
Morningglory said:
Hello DeAnn, this is a good place to find new friends.
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I read an article about a year or two ago that said loneliness hits men harder than women once they're in their senior years. Without breaking down the article's reasoning, suffice to say I agreed with them. Now, the Internet is fine for conversation of this nature, with people who (like me) remain anonymous and faceless. But it's no replacement for real human interaction. As such, I belong to a number of forums, but this is the only senior forum I belong to. It has a nice functionality, and is easy to use. So that's a plus.
 
Time Waits 4 No Man said:
I read an article about a year or two ago that said loneliness hits men harder than women once they're in their senior years. Without breaking down the article's reasoning, suffice to say I agreed with them. Now, the Internet is fine for conversation of this nature, with people who (like me) remain anonymous and faceless. But it's no replacement for real human interaction. As such, I belong to a number of forums, but this is the only senior forum I belong to. It has a nice functionality, and is easy to use. So that's a plus.
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Agree. I've lived alone since 2006, have been online since 1994, and would go insane without the internet. But it's not a replacement for real life.

I have lunch with a couple I know every Saturday. Been doing this for 2 or so years. But this weekend they were at a family function out of town, so no lunch today. It feels weird. I didn't even bother going anyway today.
 
Having the adult conversation as someone mentioned above is quite rewarding when alone. having lunch or dinner periodically with friends as Old Dummy above said is great. Sometimes I just don't need the constant interaction but I sure do need once in a while a chat with someone. For me its for not being lonely but dealing with the feeling once in a while of just chatting with someone and for a while at least, being part of something human beyond myself. A lot of social interaction while working but for me I was quite glad to leave that behind when i left the office. Retirement one seems not to have that human interaction sculpted into the day as it was when working. However as the Stones said, "
… You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need…"
 
Cameron said:
Having the adult conversation as someone mentioned above is quite rewarding when alone. having lunch or dinner periodically with friends as Old Dummy above said is great. Sometimes I just don't need the constant interaction but I sure do need once in a while a chat with someone. For me its for not being lonely but dealing with the feeling once in a while of just chatting with someone and for a while at least, being part of something human beyond myself. A lot of social interaction while working but for me I was quite glad to leave that behind when i left the office. Retirement one seems not to have that human interaction sculpted into the day as it was when working. However as the Stones said, "
… You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need…"
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I've worked at home since 1985 (recently retired). I've also lived alone for the majority of those years. One I could deal with, two was too much. It's how I got into the habit of going out to lunch every day, just to interact with other humans. One guy I met at lunch in 1990 I still see nearly every day, he is now 86.

I missed the joking around with other guys at the small tool shops I worked at before being self-employed. We introverts love human interaction, but just in the right circumstances and with the right people. :)
 
I am lucky enough to have a breakfast group that meets once a week. It is delightful to have real face-to-face conversations. There are only five of us now, and two of them are in their late eighties with declining health. I will pick them up on my way because they do not drive anymore. I am actively looking for new like minded fellows to join us, and it is proving a bit more difficult than I expected. We are all getting older.

I initially found this group one morning years ago when I walked into a restaurant by myself and spotted a group of older men eating together. I suppose that I am not the bashful sort because I just walked over and asked if I could join them. That was 13 years ago.

You just never know when or where you are going to find friends.

Once every six months, we have an evening event and the wives join us. That is a lot of fun.
 
Pecos said:
I am lucky enough to have a breakfast group that meets once a week. It is delightful to have real face-to-face conversations. There are only five of us now, and two of them are in their late eighties with declining health. I will pick them up on my way because they do not drive anymore. I am actively looking for new like minded fellows to join us, and it is proving a bit more difficult than I expected. We are all getting older.

I initially found this group one morning years ago when I walked into a restaurant by myself and spotted a group of older men eating together. I suppose that I am not the bashful sort because I just walked over and asked if I could join them. That was 13 years ago.

You just never know when or where you are going to find friends.

Once every six months, we have an evening event and the wives join us. That is a lot of fun.
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The nearest town to me (hamlet, actually) is Honeoye, NY, with a population under 600. I live on a dirt road five miles away. I've been here 40 years and know most of the people around here to varying degrees.

The place definitely needs some kind of senior center; just a place to sit, drink coffee, and get a sandwich or burger and gossip. My diner friends and I have been talking about it for years, but there's probably not a large enough population in the area to get it done even with government help.

The one existing diner was the most poorly-run place you can imagine, and has been an even bigger disaster since covid. None of us even go in there anymore, we are now making 30-40 mile daily round-trips to other towns for lunch.

One of my sisses lives in a less rural area and she's told me that they have a really great senior center.
 
I'm not looking, but I find I meet people when I volunteer to do work at a charity, take a class at the community college, do something at the community senior center, etc. As with alot of things, sometimes it is easier to find what you are looking for when you aren't actively looking for it.

Most importantly, have fun.
 
Now I'm in this boat Iiving alone because girlfriend is moving in with her sister in another state. I've lived alone for over ten years before finding girlfriend. All my family have died here in my state. I have only family in other states. I can't leave my state because I need medical eye shots in my eyes every month or I would go blind doctor has told me.
 
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Robert59 said:
Now I'm in this boat Iiving alone because girlfriend is moving in with her sister in another state. I've lived alone for over ten years before finding girlfriend. All my family have died here my state. I have only family in other states. I can't leave my state because I need medical eye shots in my eyes every month or I would go blind doctor has told me.
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I started to have the eye shots done and felt it was too much for me and stopped. ....
Finding others to share is hard. I join here because I lost a friend and the senior center was closed and still is.

My energy is not as robust, and today the heat 105F makes that worse...
Good luck with your eye treatment
 
DeAnn said:
I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site. In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs. Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left. That consists of a few cousins. We were never close growing up Ed and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally. They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along. I am never included in their activities. They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.

Consequently I am utterly alone. I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.

So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc. This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.
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Hello DeAnn , I wanted to cry reading your post, reminds me of me, feel like I'm completely alone in this world, I'm here if you want to chat anytime!
 
DeAnn said:
I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site. In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs. Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left. That consists of a few cousins. We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally. They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along. I am never included in their activities. They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.

Consequently I am utterly alone. I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.

So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc. This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.
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I find life a series of ups and downs. I am currently in a down due to circumstances beyond my control. Sounds like you are as well. Wishing you success.things will change.
 
From a man's perspective, that lost his wife 6 years ago to cancer. I go to Senior centers or church bazaars & play bing & do things there. I have met some very nice women that are like me that just need some company. We can sit & talk for hrs.

I got to be very careful as some are looking for a sugar daddy. I've gone to some restaurants & there were several women my age sitting alone. As I go by I ask them if they would like some company? Some say NO, others say yes. So we sit & talk about different things. They always say this has made their day talking with someone in the same boat. Sometimes we meet there again the following week.

I do NOT use dating services anymore online or local. Those are only looking for sugar daddies.

Good luck & I wish you well. I know what it's like to be alone.
 


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