Met someone, is it real or is it a catfisher

MickaC said:
Once again, taken by surprise.
Someone knocking on the door to my heart.
Is this really supposed to happen in real life.
I guess i've stepped up a bit.......
He's an ortho doctor......works for the UN......practices in overseas countries.
He's presently in Yaman, Germany......returns back to his home in Ontario, Canada, this month.
Have been communicating for the last two weeks.

So......what's wrong with me.
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Best wishes to you. I'm sure you're wise and take the necessary precautions. I mean that. I use some sites to try to make friends, etc. I've read all the safety warnings. It's still difficult to meet the right ones IMO. I am communicating with two guys presently. I'm just trying to find a man I can get along with well. I hope it turns out well for you.
 

Kaila said:
Do you mean at a dating site?
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Yes this was someone I met at the site, however, he is not on a catfish site. I think this was a one off. We will see. We still correspond. It is very difficult with someone who comes back "clean", no trouble or duplicity that is obvious. Only time will tell if the person is genuine. By that time one may be deeply involved emotionally. Guard your emotions above all. This can be either dangerous or rewarding in an emotional sense. Which is why you should not send personal info on yourself. This includes your financials, credit cards, address, don't send you driver's license image but do ask for his or hers, don't send a lot of photos early on and don't send photos that put you in a compromising light. Be discreet. Although it is generally assumed that the catfish perpetrator is male, many women do this too. I suggest that if you wish to meet, do this in a very public place and do not leave with the new date. Protect yourself always.
 

hollydolly said:
Do you all pay for these dating sites ?
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If you are interested:
Yes. About 100 to 130 or a little more for 6 to 12 months membership. Watch out for automatic renewal. The sites are design to make money like any other business. If you are very disappointed some sites like the one I belonged to will give you a partial refund. And, it is big business.
I will say these sites can be good for the ego or sad. Mostly women get the most attention which can be a nice reward. I say it is mostly worth it. Just keep a good perspective on emotions. I recommend not getting carried away. It is hard not to when the guy comes on and calls you gorgeous and dear, and sweetheart, etc. :)😇
 
Murrmurr said:
And so, Try, try again.

I was single for decades after my only divorce, and dated a LOT; was in several relationships, none worked out. I finally just gave up on an actual relationship about 10 or 12 years ago.

And then, bam! One fine afternoon a neighbor named Michelle swatted me on the my behind while I was getting my mail, and several months later, we got married. Our 1st anniversary is coming up this summer.
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While you were getting your mail, she was checking for a package.
 
jujube said:
On dating sites, if it sounds too good to be true.....it usually is too good to be true.....
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Not just 'dating' sites, Facebook, niche social sites and out here in physical world.

You don't have to be rich to be a target--if you own your home and have a monthly SSA or other retirement check some people will still try to ingratiate themselves.

Trust, but verify. Not only is asking for $$ a red flag--but if they start talking about being in love with you early on be cautious. There is a personality type that is not after anything material--they come on strong from beginning--but once you commit to a relationship with them they will start nitpicking about everything you say and do--even if it's how you've talked and acted from the start. For some it's an emotional issue--trying to reassure themselves they're 'loveable' by getting others to care deeply about them---for some it is just the 'challenge'.
 
Interesting thread.

Unfortunate this happens, but like others have said asking for $ should be red flag. No idea why anyone would have a legit reason to do that, not someone you met online anyway. On the other hand if any feel the need to send money I can provide an address, LOL.
IFortuna said:
catfish perpetrator
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Too bad the word catfish and catfishing are used for this. I have always liked catfish and catfishing, the original kind anyway.
 
feywon said:
Not just 'dating' sites, Facebook, niche social sites and out here in physical world.

You don't have to be rich to be a target--if you own your home and have a monthly SSA or other retirement check some people will still try to ingratiate themselves.

Trust, but verify. Not only is asking for $$ a red flag--but if they start talking about being in love with you early on be cautious. There is a personality type that is not after anything material--they come on strong from beginning--but once you commit to a relationship with them they will start nitpicking about everything you say and do--even if it's how you've talked and acted from the start. For some it's an emotional issue--trying to reassure themselves they're 'loveable' by getting others to care deeply about them---for some it is just the 'challenge'.
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True to the core.
 
Alligatorob said:
Interesting thread.

Unfortunate this happens, but like others have said asking for $ should be red flag. No idea why anyone would have a legit reason to do that, not someone you met online anyway. On the other hand if any feel the need to send money I can provide an address, LOL.

Too bad the word catfish and catfishing are used for this. I have always liked catfish and catfishing, the original kind anyway.
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So.... your address would be.......
 
Murrmurr said:
And so, Try, try again.

I was single for decades after my only divorce, and dated a LOT; was in several relationships, none worked out. I finally just gave up on an actual relationship about 10 or 12 years ago.

And then, bam! One fine afternoon a neighbor named Michelle swatted me on the my behind while I was getting my mail, and several months later, we got married. Our 1st anniversary is coming up this summer.
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Nice story..... Never give up on love. You never know what will come "around the corner".
 
My post # 35......pr
I mentioned sending a message to this person of question....pertaining to " catfishing "
GUESS WHAT.
I haven't heard from him.....and he has deactivated his account / profile from the site.

I haven't really been in the dark about this catfish behaviour.......am a big fan of the Dr. Phil program.....where i have watched content of this.
This does happen in real life.

I've gone through some older messages, that i have never responded to, because of sounding questionable.....they were 3 of the same MO.

Thanks again for all your input and thoughts.

Might start a new hobby.......CATFISH PATROL.
 
My experience, before I gave up was you can generally tell by their correspondence.
Their grammar, diction and punctuation are pretty much elementary school level.
Even Dr. Phil, who is loathsome,frequently points this out to his “ catfish” victims!
Doesn’t hurt to remember that even prison “guests” have access to the internet.
Stay safe!
 
Giantsfan1954 said:
My experience, before I gave up was you can generally tell by their correspondence.
Their grammar, diction and punctuation are pretty much elementary school level.
Even Dr. Phil, who is loathsome,frequently points this out to his “ catfish” victims!
Doesn’t hurt to remember that even prison “guests” have access to the internet.
Stay safe!
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My very first thought goes to these victims on Dr. Phil's show.
.... the stories all seem to follow the same old pattern -- they are in a foreign location, very successful and RICH,
but somehow can't get to their own money .... so many convoluted stories!

And of course they saw your picture, and they are in love.
 
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Bonnie said:
My very first thought goes to these victims on Dr. Phil's show.
.... the stories all seem to follow the same old pattern -- they are in a foreign location, very successful and RICH,
but somehow can't get to their money.
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Yeah, guess they never heard of ATMs, or wire transfers, or getting a cash withdrawal on their credit card. Much easier to get money from a lonely widow/widower. :rolleyes: I feel so sorry for the victims of these unscrupulous people. I know some people will say they should know better, but a lot of older people are just out of touch with what's going on in the world today.
 
There is no one size fits all in this .. you really do not know whom you are chatting with....

No clear signs but you must watch the whole thing ...it is a big picture sort of thing.... stories that change or they cant remember what they said before etc.
Huge red flags ... some are foreign and grammar is an issue... or some odd story about money

The questions people need to ask are Is it too good to be true? and Why do i want to believe this?

unfortunately some people are lonely or wanting very hard to believe a communication that goes so well is real.
I used to think HOW could people fall for this but some are skilled in seeing a trusting person and zeroing in
 
If I in your shoes the first question I'd ask myself is why is he interested in me? An ortho doctor who works for the UN and travels the world has so much difficulty finding a relationship that he's interested in a non-professional he never met who lives in the middle of Canada?

Doesn't pass the smell test...

Internet dating sites and Facebook are loaded with opportunists who have no conscience. If you continue to play with fire, @MickaC, chances are you will eventually get burned.

Some catfishers are incredibly slick. Remember, they're endlessly honing their skills and learn just how to hook their prey.
Scamming people is how they "earn" their living.
 
StarSong said:
indIf I in your shoes the first question I'd ask myself is why is he interested in me? An ortho doctor who works for the UN and travels the world has so much difficulty finding a relationship that he's interested in a non-professional he never met who lives in the middle of Canada?

Doesn't pass the smell test...

Internet dating sites and Facebook are loaded with opportunists who have no conscience. If you continue to play with fire, @MickaC, chances are you will eventually get burned.

Some catfishers are incredibly slick. Remember, they're endlessly honing their skills and learn just how to hook their prey.
Scamming people is how they "earn" their living.
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True in everything you said.
I am 200% careful and cautious.....if it sounds too good to be true......it is.
I do find these sites very amusing a good part of the time....the length men and women will fabricate to amuse themselves at someone else's feelings.
95% percent of members, profiles, photos are fake....doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.
I do take part in a couple of chatting sites.
I have 4 emails, 3 of which are in no way of connecting to anything personal, financial, or 0% to me.

I've never paid money to these sites, if you have to to get response, they are CRAP !!!!!

Playing with fire......had a weak moment.....gone.
 

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