Misunderstanding at church

Most churches that I'm familiar with would encourage a 96 year old to take as many pens as they like in the hope that they would use them to write a big fat check to the church.

It is little incidents like this one that can cause people to sour on a group and clamp the checkbook shut or find another worthy cause to support.

People, like the pastor, forget that their actions can have consequences and ripple effects that they may never even be aware of.
 

Kaya said:
It states at the beginning of the post that it is Author Unknown. I found it on the web and liked it. That is, if you are referring to my post?
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Yes, I was and I did do a search and found it on a website but there they also did not know where it came from and were asking if anyone did. No offence intended. I always like to know the source of lengthy pieces of writing. If I like it too I might refer to it later and like to cite the source. "Found this on a forum" or on Twitter is a very weak way to reference a good piece of writing IMO. That's why I dig deeper if I can.

Author unknown is not the same as source unknown. There are lots of ancient writings for whom the author is not known but the earliest publication is often listed. This piece of writing appears to be recent so the source might have been searchable.
 
I loved the concept of it myself. Found it YEARS ago..at least 25 years and I have reposted it during all that time. I lost it some time ago and had to find it again just using key words.
The way it was written...suits me. It's how I think, myself. :)
No offense was taken, either.
 

The ...*cough*..."pastor" should be shown this thread. He needs a bit of humbling, in my opinion. How much money has that woman tithed to his church over the years?? It should cover the cost of two frigging pens. Plus, his finger waggling her about gossiping was way over the line.
Aunt Bea said:
Most churches that I'm familiar with would encourage a 96 year old to take as many pens as they like in the hope that they would use them to write a big fat check to the church.

It is little incidents like this one that can cause people to sour on a group and clamp the checkbook shut or find another worthy cause to support.

People, like the pastor, forget that their actions can have consequences and ripple effects that they may never even be aware of.
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Remember Joel Olsteen shutting his mega church doors during that last hurricane? Look at the fallout he got. Alas, his goosesteppers forgave him and he is raking in the dough again for his limos, private planes and armani suits.*eye roll*
 
Rule of thumb:
If your paster/preacher/reverend lives better than you do, and he supposedly works for God....he isn't. Find another humble church and "leader" if you (general you) "need" someone to cling to. Otherwise....open your ears and listen to Him yourself.

Warrigal said:
Yes, I remember. Disgusting, even before that incident.
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Agreed. My little church is financially strapped. Our congregation is aging and diminishing but still we find the resources to run playgroups and homework clubs for indigenous children and their families. We also have on our block a 60 place child care centre and 8 villas for independent seniors. Rent and fees are kept low.

I remember the words of an earlier minister, commenting on the church debt (loans we were struggling to pay off). He said that a church should be in debt and that it should be continuously in the process of giving itself away. I agree with that. Rich churches are an oxymoron. Especially ones highly decorated with ornate furnishings and gold.
 
When I became homeless last year and we were at our lowest low...I called all the local churches. Even the Catholic church. All said "so sorry, Nope, can't help ya". Not even to park in their lot at night so we could be safe in our cars while we slept. They didn't want to be "sued", or "upset" the neighbors. Nobody helped us. Except our veterinary. He let us plug an extension cord into the hospital at night so we could have a small heater, and during the day we stayed gone during his business hours. For payment, he refused money but let us sweep the lot, trim shrubs, etc. He also checked my dog every month to make sure she was handling it ok....no charge.
Heck, he sent his kids to college with the money I have spent on them with him for the past 30 years, so..I am glad he remembered that, :playful:.

But the Churches? A resounding NO. Hubby was 69, I was 64. Last year at this time, we were in our car.
 
Kaya said:
When I became homeless last year and we were at our lowest low...I called all the local churches. Even the Catholic church. All said "so sorry, Nope, can't help ya". Not even to park in their lot at night so we could be safe in our cars while we slept. They didn't want to be "sued", or "upset" the neighbors. Nobody helped us. Except our veterinary. He let us plug an extension cord into the hospital at night so we could have a small heater, and during the day we stayed gone during his business hours. For payment, he refused money but let us sweep the lot, trim shrubs, etc. He also checked my dog every month to make sure she was handling it ok....no charge.
Heck, he sent his kids to college with the money I have spent on them with him for the past 30 years, so..I am glad he remembered that, :playful:.

But the Churches? A resounding NO. Hubby was 69, I was 64. Last year at this time, we were in our car.
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Oh, how hideous! I have been homeless, but as a teen, not a senior. Sickened and livid at the treatment you received. Pleased your vet showed some humanity. Perhaps you should write of your experiences. Poignant and topical, to say the least. How is your situation at present?
 
Edited because its too much info and I don't want to derail the thread.

We are surviving, Shalimar. Doing the best we can. Thank you for asking.
 
I am sorry about your housing troubles.

Do you have your names down for any form of assisted housing?

I know the lists are long but yours is exactly the situation that our units exist for. They are small, just one bedroom, living room, kitchen and bathroom/laundry but they are reserved for seniors without a home of their own and without a fat bank balance.
Membership of our church or any church for that matter is not a requirement.

I would urge you to keep searching for better accommodation.
 
Warrigal said:
I am sorry about your housing troubles.

Do you have your names down for any form of assisted housing?

I know the lists are long but yours is exactly the situation that our units exist for. They are small, just one bedroom, living room, kitchen and bathroom/laundry but they are reserved for seniors without a home of their own and without a fat bank balance.
Membership of our church or any church for that matter is not a requirement.

I would urge you to keep searching for better accommodation.
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Yes, we are on lists. Started in April of 2016 because I had a feeling something was going to happen where we were. Gut instinct. So, "just in case", I got on a couple of lists. One, we dropped from because the manager seemed a bit wacky and kept saying one was available, but after packing what little we had to go back, she would call and say OOPS. She did that two times. I finally had enough. The other one is in the same town we lived in for 30 years. Still waiting on that one. Where we are now..there is only one low income place. It is a 2 year wait. We are on that one now too. I hope this is our last winter here in this house.
 
This is my take on the incident: I believe the older woman has some mental issues, being almost 96. A few weeks ago, I noticed her stuffing cookies in her pocket (not even getting a plate on which to put the cookies) from the coffee fellowship table. Although I don't think anyone would begrudge her the cookies, I said something to her about how she must really like those cookies. She whirled around and accused me of spying on her. All I can say is I was slightly stunned at her reaction.

She probably felt the same way when the pastor mentioned to her that he saw she took some pens. I also think it was somewhat childish of her to tell the Bible study leader about it as soon as he sat down (like what could he do about any of it). Since she shouts when she talks, everyone present could hear her tirade - it's an open sanctuary with no separate rooms for the kid's Sunday school or the adult Bible study in which corners of the building are set aside for these activities.

Maybe the pastor came back to try to smooth things out and that's when she lit into him. His reaction was a little gruff, I admit, since he probably wasn't expecting her continued vituperation, and this set some others off. I wouldn't be surprised if a few that witnessed this stopped attending church.
 
debodun, you left out all of that information in the first paragraph that would have clarified some parts of the situation for those of us who weren't there to see it.

I've worked several places where there were many food gifts, especially at the holidays, and I've watched people make pigs of themselves and fill plates and pockets. No one was anywhere close to being 96, were able-bodied and could have made their own food, but no one saw fit to call them out on their behavior.
 
Smiling Jane said:
debodun, you left out all of that information in the first paragraph that would have clarified some parts of the situation for those of us who weren't there to see it.

I've worked several places where there were many food gifts, especially at the holidays, and I've watched people make pigs of themselves and fill plates and pockets. No one was anywhere close to being 96, were able-bodied and could have made their own food, but no one saw fit to call them out on their behavior.
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Yeah, I don't see the point in berating this 96 year old lady for a pocket full of cookies of a couple of pens. Perhaps kindness and compassion towards her might be the better avenue. The lady can't help it if she is old and deaf. I wouldn't be going back to a church where the pastor made a big deal out of a 96 year old lady taking two pens.
 
We once had an old dear who liked to attend an evening service. She came alone and walked to the church. It was a quite small affair and she sometimes fell asleep. More often than not when the plate was passed around she would scratch in her handbag for something to contribute. Usually it was a couple of cigarette butts. She lived in a seniors hostel and clearly had some dementia and no-one minded her unusual offering. It was prayed over along with the notes and coins.

When people become very old all they have to offer is their frailty and their need for love and acceptance.
That is their gift to the rest of us; the opportunity to love and care for their needs.

As they are now, so soon will we be also.
 
Warrigal said:
We once had an old dear who liked to attend an evening service. She came alone and walked to the church. It was a quite small affair and she sometimes fell asleep. More often than not when the plate was passed around she would scratch in her handbag for something to contribute. Usually it was a couple of cigarette butts. She lived in a seniors hostel and clearly had some dementia and no-one minded her unusual offering. It was prayed over along with the notes and coins.

When people become very old all they have to offer is their frailty and their need for love and acceptance.
That is their gift to the rest of us; the opportunity to love and care for their needs.

As they are now, so soon will we be also.
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Qft.
 
Butterfly said:
Yeah, I don't see the point in berating this 96 year old lady for a pocket full of cookies of a couple of pens. Perhaps kindness and compassion towards her might be the better avenue. The lady can't help it if she is old and deaf. I wouldn't be going back to a church where the pastor made a big deal out of a 96 year old lady taking two pens.
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I agree.
 
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