Monday Punday...

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I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell. β€”Gary Delaney, comedian

Could a ... ... librarian be called a bookkeeper? ... referee be a game warden? ... dairyman be a cowboy? ... cabinetmaker be the president? β€”Submitted by J. Lee

To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian. β€”Mark Simmons, comedian
 
  • What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  • I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
  • What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  • What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
  • What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1
  • If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?
  • What concert would cost only 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
 

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