Mother's Funeral Cost?

Commendable of you to take over the payments especially when supporting the cost to raise a child by yourself. Understandable that with 8 siblings putting away money for what we all know is going to happen wasn't likely.

Curious though why wouldn't your mother want to be buried next to her husband?

As a last gift to our kids. Prepaid cremation, the $50.00 cardboard box to cremate a person in & side by side plots translate into our kids not wondering what needs to be taken care of. They all know where the paperwork is, they know our wishes so there is no chance for the cremation to turn into a last minute emotional appeal for something more costly. Loss of a loved one isn't easy but to compound the loss by burdening them with debt too never seemed right.
At the time of his death, they we're divorced. I told my kids to cremate me so they won't have to feel guilty for not visiting my grave. My youngest daughter told me what kind of funeral she would like, I told her to start saving. Lol
 

My late hubby and I had prepaid services and it was so easy when he passed away.
He was cremated(as I will be) and as he died in Feb. we waited until the spring to
bury his urn and had a very simple service at the cemetery with family and close friends.
Then we all came back to my place to reminisce and have a few drinks!
Expect my family will do the same for me.
 
My ex-mother in law died at home, No service. You should have things as you want as long as it doesn't create a financial burden on family.
I have that all in place. My niece will be my executor, and after my husband died, she and I had a long talk about what my wishes are. I have money set aside for expenses.
 
That's one reason cremation is so popular today, the cost of dying has gotten so expensive.

Except that cremation has nothing to do with a funeral/memorial service. That's totally separate. My mom was cremated but we still had a funeral. And being cremated doesn't mean that the ashes get spread somewhere. And urns can be expensive. My mom's urn is in the military Punchbowl cemetery in the columbarium where my dad's ashes would go there. too. . I prefer for my ashes to be sprinkled in the air. I don't care where. I'm claustrophobic. Don't want to be in some little stone niche. And I don't like the ocean either. God no.
 
My late hubby and I had prepaid services and it was so easy when he passed away.
He was cremated(as I will be) and as he died in Feb. we waited until the spring to
bury his urn and had a very simple service at the cemetery with family and close friends.
Then we all came back to my place to reminisce and have a few drinks!
Expect my family will do the same for me.

That's another thing, too. People don't always realize that urns can be buried in a grave just like a coffin. That's what my friend did with her husband's urn and she periodically places flowers on his grave. It was a simple service at the grave with each of us threwing a shovel of the grave's soil into it. And then we all went out to lunch. She expects that her urn will be buried there, too.
 
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If you do not feel that you should contribute or are able to contribute to the funeral then I think that you should stay out of it altogether and graciously accept what happens when the time comes.

Good luck to you and your family.

I strongly agree. Let one of them sign whatever contracts are necessary and stay out of it. If they ask, just tell them you cannot afford to contribute and therefore are leaving the matter in their hands.

IMHO a lot of people make far too big a deal about the size of the funeral, etc., while in the end it doesn't matter at all, and the dead certainly don't care.
 
Money set aside for cremation. Will have a small memorial service. Kids will scatter ashes at beach. Soul leaves the body at death so no reason to spend a lot of money on casket, etc. Very simple plans. I had the plans made through a local funeral home for around $2000.00. Kids would rather I have the full funeral service as they want to be able to visit the grave. I told them that I did not see much of them in life now so I am sure they would not visit a grave site. They would have good intentions but they are busy now and it will not get better when I die. It is well with my soul and that's all that matters.
 
I never understood the ceremonies attached to death. In the end there is a stone over a box filled with bones. Why is that sacred? I was raised to be very pragmatic and live that way. Isn't it bad enough to lose a loved one much less visit the grave and weep over and over again. When does the sorrow and grieving stop? Last, why do people talk to grave markers?
 
Yes, we all have to die. It seems very selfish not to make some preparation for our funeral instead of leaving it for others to sort out. It is possible to actually pay for a basic funeral before you die. I have set aside a sum of money which should cover the cost and my children know this, and what my wishes are.
100% agree. When my former wife's mother died of terminal cancer (they knew she only had a year left) they then arranged the funeral. I thought it was the most selfish act I'd ever experienced. Plan your own funeral and if you don't have the money then get a pre-paid cremation.

Don't burden your family with the last memory one of having to plan the final goodbye. The grief is enough.

Rick
 
I think high-cost funerals are ridiculous. Funeral directors know they can take advantage of people's grief & they also know many people think how much they spend indicates how much they cared about the deceased.
Both of my parents pre-paid for their funerals. When my sister & I went to the funeral home for the arrangements, she didn't like the casket my dad chose; it was a simple wooden box & she wanted to buy a more-expensive one.
I convinced her that changing it would be disrespecting our dad's wishes because that's what he wanted. She usually doesn't listen to anyone, but she finally realized that what SHE wanted was not what mattered; it was what HE wanted.
 
When my sister died two months ago, we had a plot but not a funeral plan. The funeral ended up costing over $16,000. I have two plots and two funerals paid for. Just need the headstone. Also have a plot in the family area at a different cemetery. Thinking of selling the two plots and plans I have and using the money to pre-pay my funeral expenses at the family cemetery. And I'll just have my ex-husband cremated and his ashes spread over our 100 acre place that's somewhere in the middle of nowhere close to a little community near a town in Egypt. (sorry, bad joke!) Sounds fair to me.
 
When my sister died two months ago, we had a plot but not a funeral plan. The funeral ended up costing over $16,000. I have two plots and two funerals paid for. Just need the headstone. Also have a plot in the family area at a different cemetery. Thinking of selling the two plots and plans I have and using the money to pre-pay my funeral expenses at the family cemetery. And I'll just have my ex-husband cremated and his ashes spread over our 100 acre place that's somewhere in the middle of nowhere close to a little community near a town in Egypt. (sorry, bad joke!) Sounds fair to me.

A couple of my siblings know how I feel. My mother had made her feelings Clear. She is a devout Catholic who wants to be buried. So will see?
 
Interesting how so many seem to believe that the dead still are attached to their old bodies/ashes. If our spirits actually exist, I can think of nothing worse than hanging out in a coffin or in a place my ashes might be stored/scattered, for eternity. If, after I breathe my last, I find my incorporeal self floating above my lifeless body, I will instantly take off and go cruise the universe, for eternity.
Great post treeguy.
I most certainly know ,without a doubt, that we all have spirits that soar. I , for one , won’t be hanging around in a box next to my dead body. No chance.
 
When my sister died two months ago, we had a plot but not a funeral plan. The funeral ended up costing over $16,000. I have two plots and two funerals paid for. Just need the headstone. Also have a plot in the family area at a different cemetery. Thinking of selling the two plots and plans I have and using the money to pre-pay my funeral expenses at the family cemetery. And I'll just have my ex-husband cremated and his ashes spread over our 100 acre place that's somewhere in the middle of nowhere close to a little community near a town in Egypt. (sorry, bad joke!) Sounds fair to me.

$16,000 for a funeral and the plot was already paid for? WOW! That's crazy expensive!
 

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