My Dad Stalks me Online

treeguy64 said:
You know your dad, I take it. You should know, after all of these years, if you post "X," then he's going to respond with "Y." Ultimately, he's a huge negative in your life. If you're a glutton for punishment, when it comes to your parent, and one other SF member had a similar issue (which she bemoaned, in here), then just keep on keepin' on. If you honestly want to end this cycle on, cycle off, of abuse, let the old guy alone, for good!
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Deleted. Not worth responding to.
Bemowned. Oh but you so deserved it.
 

I wish you the best of luck ronknights.
You have some things to work out but life tests us.
You are still responsible for your actions and drinking a whole bottle of booze and posting it online is a real silly thing to do. Surely you expected some criticism from that? He IS 91 ! Surely some dementia and other cognitive problems could be coming into play. You have to be responsible for your actions.
Think before responding. Disengage if it gets nasty.
 
Thanks, everyone for your responses. This incident brought together several issues. When my brother moved away, I missed him. Then I remembered our relationship was never very good. That's why I only visited him once a week. I had tried for 4 years to either accept his negativity or improve the relationship. When he left, I really didn't have much to miss. He lives too far away for me to visit. He lives closer to my parents now. My brother is more like my Dad. My brother doesn't like to talk on the phone. I won't bother calling him. Awhile ago, my Dad and his twin brother came over to get a few of my brother's things. We went to lunch, then visited my brother. I didn't really appreciate they way they spoke to me most of the time.

My Dad had suggested that I might want to move closer to family. I thought about that, briefly. I'd never get the kind of closeness I want and deserve. I moved from Maine to Minnesota 4 years ago. I wanted to be closer to family. It never really worked out. I'll stay here for now. I might move later, in order to have easier access to medical care. I live in a small town now. We need to go to other cities or towns for different types of treatment.

As for the booze silliness, I accept the criticism. However, there is no need to keep beating a dead horse. :playful:
 
There are a lot of losers on Face book posting photos of their dogs & cats. Many post famous sayings. Some post jokes. I suppose that there are a lot of lonely people there on FB. Same for those starring all day into stupidphones.
 
Many people have never used Facebook to begin with, and many younger people have left Facebook behind in favor of other social media that they like better. Posting on Facebook is not a necessary requirement to be alive. Since it is an obvious cause of distress to both you and your father, you should stay off it. If you like posting on social media, find others, and do not tell him about them.
 
Falcon, I'm fine, thanks. Dad lives over 30 miles away. We don't see each other for weeks or months at a time. I live just fine alone.
 
Thanks, Keesha. I never bothered with online communities till around 2008. At that time I recovered from my divorce, got some dentures, and started making YouTube videos. I made many friends, and they talked me into getting more involved with Facebook, Twitter, etc. I got slammed a couple times by groups of trolls and got terribly depressed. Eventually I retired from doing YouTube videos and scaled back my other online activities greatly. Now I communicate with some of the friends I'd mentioned. We touch base once and awhile.
 
ronk said:
Thanks, Keesha. I never bothered with online communities till around 2008. At that time I recovered from my divorce, got some dentures, and started making YouTube videos. I made many friends, and they talked me into getting more involved with Facebook, Twitter, etc. I got slammed a couple times by groups of trolls and got terribly depressed. Eventually I retired from doing YouTube videos and scaled back my other online activities greatly. Now I communicate with some of the friends I'd mentioned. We touch base once and awhile.
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My father has always been verbally abusive. I recently left FB in part because of it. When a grown a** woman can't post what she wants on her own FB page because her dad doesn't like it & decides to attack each post that's BS.

(And yes I'm aware of the date on this thread...I'm just posting because I want to.)
 
Lewkat said:
One of the worst things about FB is the family feuds that occur on that site. It is undignified and embarrassing. This situation right here is a fine example. I could never imagine posting what Ron does on FB nor here for that matter.
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It's more than undignified, Lewkat. It's a betrayal of a close relative or friend. IMO.
 
Block them. I recently blocked 2 cousins. I love them dearly but instead of them calling, or using text messages if they have a personal question or problem or gossip they use FB.
 
Many know on this Forum that my father killed my mother leaving 5 children youngest 6 months. He did nothing for his 'kids'. He remained selfish , a 'user' , manipulative and violent. When he died nobody went to the cremation and the clerk scattered the ashes somewhere. He was my father and I felt in conflict because he was my father and I believe I have a kind heart and want to be kind to people. But, here's why I'm writing this Ronk. One can either accept the person for who they are but feel the hurt everytime you encounter that person, in whatever shape or form that might be, or you can say I can't keep revisiting that hurt, I have done my best, I have a right to a life without pain and trauma and my life is just as important as his. From what you have written I just feel that you are still hoping that your father will be the type of father you always wanted and/or perhaps show some contrition for past events. I could be wrong. But I spent years hoping I would have a father that I thought a father should be. It never happened. You can walk away. So here's the thing, do you want your father in your life and all that that entails or can you leave it behind so that you have some peace. Of course the other option could be to leave it alone for a period of time until you feel that you are on top of your emotions etc. Just some thoughts Ronk. I wish you all the best. 🤗
 
Lewkat said:
One of the worst things about FB is the family feuds that occur on that site. It is undignified and embarrassing. This situation right here is a fine example. I could never imagine posting what Ron does on FB nor here for that matter.
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Well, I am going to jump in on this old thread as well. I have posted here a lot about my early abusive years, and issues with my husband. Some of you may be surprised but doing so, posting about abusive situations, family issues, etc, is recommended and encouraged by therapists.

Forums, such as this one, are considered “safe spaces” for the most part. True, some people are ignorant towards you when you do this but so what? Even their opinions can be valuable and give you ideals. It’s better and easier than facing other abused people in a group setting. Although I’ve never been in a group session and only had a couple of sessions with a therapist.

I did think her suggestion of discussing issues on a forum was a good ideal though. You help not only yourself, but others as well, IMO.

I am not on any form of social media. I don’t understand it and need neither praise nor condemnation from complete strangers. This is the only forum I am on and I love it here, even when people disagree with me. 😂. Even when I get in trouble and I have been in trouble 😧.

Anyway, my 2 cents.
 
Bonnie said:
ronk ... last seen on the forum April 23, 2019
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Well pointed out, I hadn't noticed. .

Would it be appropriate to make any comments now, like maybe about the level of maturity or lack of maturity evident in some of the posts imho, (given father 91 years old, and lucky to be around and kicking, "maybe there should be a limit on the age of someone allowed on Facebook - only joking" :unsure:👨‍🦳🧓🧙‍♂️⛔❌🚫🛑?).
 
grahamg said:
Well pointed out, I hadn't noticed. .

Would it be appropriate to make any comments now, like maybe about the level of maturity or lack of maturity evident in some of the posts imho, (given father 91 years old, and lucky to be around and kicking, "maybe there should be a limit on the age of someone allowed on Facebook - only joking" :unsure:👨‍🦳🧓🧙‍♂️⛔❌🚫🛑?).
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My mother is 95, neither of us are on FB, if we were she wouldn’t be on my friends list. 😂
 
Becky1951 said:
Block them. I recently blocked 2 cousins. I love them dearly but instead of them calling, or using text messages if they have a personal question or problem or gossip they use FB.
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I could've blocked my father but...right now they are relying on electronic communication to make sure I'm ok. I refuse to block my father because to me that's just disrespectful. He still loves me he's just an ahole. LOL!

So I shut down my FB acct & I email once a day so they know I'm ok. I missed my usual 8:30 email this morning & he emailed asking where my email was. The email thing works better because I don't have to worry about him seeing something & commenting on it.
 

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