Neighbors buying a car for daughter's graduation

debodun

debodun

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Location
way upstate in New York, USA
My neighbor's are buying a car for their daughter's HS graduation this year. They're going to surprise her with a vintage (used) Chevvy Caprice station wagon. It will be a surprise since I happen to know the daughter expects a brand new sports car. I'm afraid the wagon will not be an appreciated gift. The parents say even the wagon will take them 3 years to pay off and they can't afford the expensive car their daughter wants. What would you do if you were the parents?
 

Call me stingy, but if I had a teenager, there is not way in the world I would buy them a car. They need to learn responsibility and paying for their own is one of the best ways to learn that. If the daughter expects a new car, then you are right, it will not be appreciated. The practice of parents buying their children cars to my mind was something that never should have gotten started in the first place. And then we wonder why today's generation wants everything on a silver platter without working for it.
 
I bought my first car by working at a mans job all summer. Hard labor type work. I bought a '41 Chevy for $400. I never was given a new car, in fact I bought my first new car in '66 and it was a little rambler. I appreciated what I worked for.
 

No, I wouldn't do it. I would tell her when you get a job and can pay for it yourself, pay for the insurance and gas, that's when you can have a car. This way, they would be more careful with it and wouldn't be having wreck after wreck after wreck. I'm just glad I don't have teenagers today!!!!!!!
 
So much depends on the financial situation of the family and whether the teen can find a job in today's market. If the teen's family is well off then I don't think it would matter either way, because they would probably have the connections to help the kid find a lucrative job, in which case he could buy his own car, without resorting to struggling to save up doing menial work. I know there are parents, some of them rich, who want their children to start at the bottom, sweeping floors in a factory, to learn the value of money. I'm not one of those parents. I always believed in giving my child as much as I could afford. Of course, if I couldn't afford something he wanted he would then have to earn it. And I don't believe that being generous to your children spoils them. Being miserly however, will make them very bitter. Also, it depends on if they are in the burbs or in the country where a car is essential to get around. A high school graduate usually is over 16, the legal driving age.
 
Logic, not all of this generation have their hands out. My family have, and continue to work very hard for everything they have. If I had the means to do so, i would buy . them a new car. Regarding the teenager, no way. She does not have the right mindset at this point. Too young and inexperienced.
 
Our daughter drove my my new Golf after she got her license and frequently enough that the mileage limit of the warranty happened a year before the time limit. Then she took out her first loan for a little used Mazda pickup that she named 'Vinny the Toaster' (no air-conditioning).

But at the same time, I know if we'd had the money to do it, we'd have bought her a nice little car. Nothing terribly fancy but still new. When I used to pick her up from school, in the later years, we used to like playing the game that we called 'If I Won A Lottery - What Would I Do' and invariably we would both start our list with things we'd do for each other and other members and friends of the family. I still daydream about paying off mortgages.

And as Shalimar said, my kids expect nothing, appreciate whatever we can help them with and are hard workers so we never feel used or anything.
 
Like Jim I bought and paid for my own car at sixteen. It never would have occurred to me to expect my parents to buy me a car. My parents advised me not to have a car at college and I followed their advise and so for four years I'd hitchhike 170 miles to college in Providence and home again for the holidays.
 
Thanks Cookie.....you know I've always had it in my mind that when I die, I would hope that people smile and say, 'too bad because she was a nice person'. And besides, it's so nice to be able to help people you love (and other folks too if you can) isn't it?
 
Debby, helping others puts a smile on my face too. I prefer to be worth what I give, rather than what I have. Told my family growing up, only two things can't be taken from you, your education, and your character.
 
I had learned to drive on my dad's Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser station wagon and I was not ashamed to be seen driving it (unlike kids today). My parents bought me a used Fiat for my 16th birthday. It had a standard tranny, but we didn't have it long. There was something wrong with it, I remember, and they took it back and bought me a new Ford Maverick (this was the early 1970s) and it was automatic - and I've had automatic ever since. I drove it to college and back for 2 years. After that, I bought my own car - an AMC Gremlin.
 
debodun said:
I had learned to drive on my dad's Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser station wagon and I was not ashamed to be seen driving it (unlike kids today). My parents bought me a used Fiat for my 16th birthday. It had a standard tranny, but we didn't have it long. There was something wrong with it, I remember, and they took it back and bought me a new Ford Maverick (this was the early 1970s) and it was automatic - and I've had automatic ever since. I drove it to college and back for 2 years. After that, I bought my own car - an AMC Gremlin.
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I think that's the big thing isn't it? Giving to your kids (regardless of their age) needs to be tailored to the type of person they are. Like if you know that your child/friend, whatever is just going to 'absorb' it because they think they deserve it, than no, they need the many lessons that accompanying working for something. But I think if they're a natural grateful type of person and need the help and have the capacity to be appreciative and not expect the same forever after, then by all means, be generous.

It's like I said to my husband tonight, we give to our kids because we want someone to give us a lift to the doctor when we're old and can't drive and he countered with, 'and they are good to us because they're thinking of the inheritance' :D. (just kidding folks)
 
I'd say the same thing my dad said to me --"Wanna car? Getta job." So I got a part time job and got my car. Not new or fancy, but it was my pride and joy. I took good care of it and drove that car till the wheels fell off.
 
There is nothing wrong about receiving a car as a hs graduation present. Circumstances are fluid, some parents are financially able to comfortably absorb the cost of a car for their offspring, some teenagers are mature and deserving of the gift. In some cases, the car is inappropriate.
 
My parents provided me with a used car for college, but didn't give it to me. It went to them after college. When I graduated from college, I bought a car and they loaned me the money to buy it. I paid them back and was on my own from that point. They were good to me and I always appreciated the help getting started in life.
 
They're "buying" a used car for their daughter for HS graduation? No...they're "charging" a used car for their daughter, and it's going to take them three years to pay for it.
 
My daughter ran with a rather affluent crowd in high school, which caused some unhappiness on her part when she didn't get what a lot of her friends did. As she was the youngest of the crowd (started school early), everyone turned 16 earlier than her. She attended several Sweet 16 parties, where brand new Mustang convertibles and other snazzy cars were presented at sit-down dinners at the country club, and she wanted to know what kind of car SHE was going to get when she turned 16. There were some tears when it was explained that since her father and I were both in "helping" professions and not making the big bucks that her friends' doctor, lawyer and politician fathers were, she *wasn't* necessarily getting a car when she turned 16. Apparently we hadn't received the memo that all teens are entitled to a new car at 16. Luckily for her, her grandmother came through with a used car. She was happy with it.
 
Gender HAS to be taken into consideration when allowing a teenager to get a car. Boys can get by with a used car that might break down, but with all the lunatics running around, a girl Must be given a car that can be counted on for reliability. We had two daughters, and I bought them each a new economy car when they began to drive....with the stipulation that gas, insurance, etc., was on them. They did a lot of babysitting, and worked at local stores on weekends to pay their share of the expenses. This gave them a sense of shared responsibility, and it worked out well.
 

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