Never So Alone As I Am, Now!

I'm inclined to agree that there was a time when that would've helped, but my agoraphobia tends to force me to stay in the house. The agoraphobia has been around for the better part of 30 years. I can beat it when it's a warm British Summer late evening...but, during the day, I have no chance.
 
For a few months, now, I've noticed things and wondered about them.

1. Occasionally, I have actually found myself laughing at something, during the past 4-6 months. When I asked ChatGPT about the possibility of that meaning that there is one very thin sliver of connection to the reward centre of my brain, he said, "So even rare laughter counts—your brain is briefly reconnecting with pleasure and reward pathways, which is huge when anhedonia is present. You’ve literally “tasted” your reward system working again, even if only for a few seconds." So, effectively, on those rare occasions when I find myself laughing, quite spontaneously, at something (it hardly matters what), THE ANHEDONIA IS CAUGHT NAPPING for just a tiny amount of time. It's really not much, but it's PROGRESS!

2. My last friend and I (we lived 40 miles apart and would never have met) were doing what we called "parallel watching" of movies...we'd be talking on the phone and arrange which film and how long to watch...then, watch half an hour of a movie, and be back on the phone. When my friend occasionally said, "Which film would you rather watch?", I'd choose one film sooner than another. ChatGPT pointed out to me (and, I didn't even notice or know this) that, when I expressed a preference of one film over another, I was then, also, accessing my reward centre in the brain. THE ANHEDONIA WAS CAUGHT NAPPING THEN, TOO!

3. After leaving the psychiatric hospital, last year, I never expected that I would be able to muster interest enough to do even ONE of the late Summer evening walks that I'd been doing for 45 years, so I dismissed the idea, for a while. Then, to my own shock, I just went out, on 9 different warm Summer evenings, and did NINE of those very same walks. THE ANHEDONIA WAS CAUGHT NAPPING THEN, TOO!

It might not look like much on a screen, but those 3 things are actually good signs. I hope to build on those.

Thanks, for reading. :)
 
Ian McKlatchie said:
For a few months, now, I've noticed things and wondered about them.

1. Occasionally, I have actually found myself laughing at something, during the past 4-6 months. When I asked ChatGPT about the possibility of that meaning that there is one very thin sliver of connection to the reward centre of my brain, he said, "So even rare laughter counts—your brain is briefly reconnecting with pleasure and reward pathways, which is huge when anhedonia is present. You’ve literally “tasted” your reward system working again, even if only for a few seconds." So, effectively, on those rare occasions when I find myself laughing, quite spontaneously, at something (it hardly matters what), THE ANHEDONIA IS CAUGHT NAPPING for just a tiny amount of time. It's really not much, but it's PROGRESS!

2. My last friend and I (we lived 40 miles apart and would never have met) were doing what we called "parallel watching" of movies...we'd be talking on the phone and arrange which film and how long to watch...then, watch half an hour of a movie, and be back on the phone. When my friend occasionally said, "Which film would you rather watch?", I'd choose one film sooner than another. ChatGPT pointed out to me (and, I didn't even notice or know this) that, when I expressed a preference of one film over another, I was then, also, accessing my reward centre in the brain. THE ANHEDONIA WAS CAUGHT NAPPING THEN, TOO!

3. After leaving the psychiatric hospital, last year, I never expected that I would be able to muster interest enough to do even ONE of the late Summer evening walks that I'd been doing for 45 years, so I dismissed the idea, for a while. Then, to my own shock, I just went out, on 9 different warm Summer evenings, and did NINE of those very same walks. THE ANHEDONIA WAS CAUGHT NAPPING THEN, TOO!

It might not look like much on a screen, but those 3 things are actually good signs. I hope to build on those.

Thanks, for reading. :)
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Two thoughts have popped into my mind.

1. Remember the little engine that could.

2. Also, to have a friend you must first be a friend.

Make those sentences your mantra for the rest of May.
And go on more walks when the weather is fine.
 
Ian McKlatchie said:
I can honestly say that, right now, I am more alone than I have ever been/felt in my entire life! I never thought that I would ever be this alone, lonely and isolated!
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@Ian McKlatchie, I've been away for a few days and just found this thread. I'm glad you found this forum; there are lots of kind, supportive, and knowledgeable people here, from all across the globe, so now you'll never truly be alone. đź«‚
 
Dear Ian,
I can understand your feelings. I was the same way after I lost my wife of 30 years. After years of taking care of her, I was at a loss for what to do. Part of my days were taken up by work, but coming home to that empty home was depressing.
Fortunately, I found an on line site for widowed people, and just communicating with others lifted my spirits.
I hope this site can help you.
 
I've had a couple of difficult days but I never complain to friends or family. I just decide to go to a cupboard and take everything out and go through everything and decide what is trash and what is treasure. I end up with two bundles, put the trash in a big plastic bag and donate to a charity, the rest goes back and it's amazing how much space there is. There goes a couple of hours
without thinking about your situation. Guarantee it works.
 
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