-Oy-
Bloke with a camera
- Location
- Lancashire
New and Lonely
- Thread starter Lael
- Start date
Oldeagle66
Senior Member
Welcome and join the fun. Nice group of people here.
Paco Dennis
SF VIP
- Location
- Mid-Missouri
Welcome to the forum! 
Dave03
Senior Member
- Location
- Dunder Mifflin, Scranton Branch
Greetings from Delaware, the first state.
Home of tax free shopping, and landing place for the migration of the horseshoe crab.
Home of tax free shopping, and landing place for the migration of the horseshoe crab.
Tish
SF VIP
- Location
- Rural N.S.W. Australia
papa tiger
Well-known Member
...
papa tiger
Well-known Member
hearlady
Basic Member
- Location
- N Carolina
Lilac
Well-known Member
- Location
- Flyover Country
Welcome to the Forum! Hope you enjoy your time here.
Wow!
So many wonderful welcomes. Thx so so much guys
If we were all in the same room I'd give you all a hug hello (got a deficiency going on, haha)
Someone asked how to say my name. Just to be clear, it's my forum name not my real name. I heard this name years ago and loved it. It was the name of one of my coworker's girlfriend. He pronounced it, La (as in 'lay') and el (as in 'bell' without the 'b'). It means belonging to God.
Thx Ted01, the loneliness will ease, it usually does. I mostly hits when I just want to enjoy some engaging conversation with someone and there's nobody to talk to. Or if I want to talk something out with someone. I miss the friendships I had, they faded away when my husband died.
Thx again for all the generous welcomes
So many wonderful welcomes. Thx so so much guys
If we were all in the same room I'd give you all a hug hello (got a deficiency going on, haha)
Someone asked how to say my name. Just to be clear, it's my forum name not my real name. I heard this name years ago and loved it. It was the name of one of my coworker's girlfriend. He pronounced it, La (as in 'lay') and el (as in 'bell' without the 'b'). It means belonging to God.
Thx Ted01, the loneliness will ease, it usually does. I mostly hits when I just want to enjoy some engaging conversation with someone and there's nobody to talk to. Or if I want to talk something out with someone. I miss the friendships I had, they faded away when my husband died.
Thx again for all the generous welcomes
palides2021
Well-known Member
- Location
- MidAtlantic, USA
Kaila
SF VIP
Welcome to you, and thank you for the nice introduction post you wrote for us.
Take part in any of our conversations that interest you!
What might you be interested in?
Or just any chit chat?
katlupe
SF VIP
- Location
- Norwich, NY
Welcome Lael to our forum! Glad you have joined us!
JustBonee
SF VIP
- Location
- Texas Gulf Coast
Axel Slingerland
Blues Rocker
- Location
- 10 Miles North of Weedpatch
Hi Lael! I've been here almost a week and they haven't shown me the door. So I guess they're gonna let me stay awhile.
Now this is just my opinion, but I believe loneliness comes from two things. Memories and Boredom. My wife passed away two years ago, and my first thought was (since I was in the hospital with a bad case of Covid and Pneumonia) to tell the Nurses to just let me die. I was 67 and had spent a third of my life with her. I knew her better than I had ever known anyone. When she passed away I felt empty and lost. By the time I got out of the hospital after 96 days, I was mostly back to normal.
I miss her, but I made a decision to remember the good times, shove the bad times to the back burner, and started to things to keep me busy. And as a result of that, I'm not lonely that much anymore. I found this forum at the perfect time. A few days before my 69th birthday, and about two weeks before the day that marks the 2nd year since her death. I try not to call it an anniversary because to me, that is supposed to be a celebration, of life, years together or something.
Our Silver Anniversary would have been a few months after her death, and even though we did not make it to 25 years. I will always look back on that day and smile from ear to ear. We were soulmates.
My point is just this. Dwelling on bad memories and boredom leads to loneliness, remembering the good times and staying busy helps to alleviate loneliness, and eases the pain of bad times.
Now this is just my opinion, but I believe loneliness comes from two things. Memories and Boredom. My wife passed away two years ago, and my first thought was (since I was in the hospital with a bad case of Covid and Pneumonia) to tell the Nurses to just let me die. I was 67 and had spent a third of my life with her. I knew her better than I had ever known anyone. When she passed away I felt empty and lost. By the time I got out of the hospital after 96 days, I was mostly back to normal.
I miss her, but I made a decision to remember the good times, shove the bad times to the back burner, and started to things to keep me busy. And as a result of that, I'm not lonely that much anymore. I found this forum at the perfect time. A few days before my 69th birthday, and about two weeks before the day that marks the 2nd year since her death. I try not to call it an anniversary because to me, that is supposed to be a celebration, of life, years together or something.
Our Silver Anniversary would have been a few months after her death, and even though we did not make it to 25 years. I will always look back on that day and smile from ear to ear. We were soulmates.
My point is just this. Dwelling on bad memories and boredom leads to loneliness, remembering the good times and staying busy helps to alleviate loneliness, and eases the pain of bad times.
Thx for your well intentioned post Axel
I'm so sorry to hear your wife has died. How wonderful you can remember the good times, for that is a blessing.
Unfortunately not everyone has that kind of scenario. I will share my situation and my reason around my loneliness.
When I met my late husband we were like magnets, soulmates some might say. All appeared well when we married, but shortly I sensed something wasn't right. Long story short, after years of counselling he shared that if he knew what married was like he wouldn't have gotten married. But he told me he loved me and was willing to work things out. We basically lived like roommates, he withdrew, became disengaged and our connection faded. During this time I started to experience emotional loneliness. He became depressed, created a hoarding scenario in our home and became suicidal with one unsuccessful attempt.
It was 5 months before he passed when he told me he wanted to end things. I thought my marriage was over, but wanted to fight for it, so he agreed to go back to counselling. Then 5 weeks before he died he was in an accident and fractured his leg in 2 places requiring surgery. He was convalescing at home and was in severe distress one morning. I called 911 and watched him take his last breath waiting for them to arrive. I'm experiencing ongoing stress as a result of his traumatic death. As well, in the last 4 years I've experienced 6 deaths, 5 family members and one close friend of almost 30 years. All this chronic stress has affected me physically.
In the last 4 years my friendships have ended. I've been doing my best but without the much desired support of friends. Making friends as I start my 6th decade of life has not been easy, and believe me, I've tried. So my type of loneliness does not stem from memories or boredom. Believe me, I have much to do around the home. And if I could remember what our emotional connection felt like I may not feel so lonely. So I don't dwell on the past. You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
My kind of loneliness is two-fold. And staying busy has not eased this. Trust me, I've tried for 4 years and I'm still lonely.
I have Emotional loneliness from a lack of meaningful relationships, and no one to talk to about life's challenges.
And Social loneliness from not having a reliable social network and lack of close friendships.
I hope this posted wasn't to heavy, that wasn't my intent. Just wanted to clarify my situation as it wasn't the typically widow scenario where I sort through his belongings, donate his clothes and grieve while remembering the good times.
I'm so sorry to hear your wife has died. How wonderful you can remember the good times, for that is a blessing.
Unfortunately not everyone has that kind of scenario. I will share my situation and my reason around my loneliness.
When I met my late husband we were like magnets, soulmates some might say. All appeared well when we married, but shortly I sensed something wasn't right. Long story short, after years of counselling he shared that if he knew what married was like he wouldn't have gotten married. But he told me he loved me and was willing to work things out. We basically lived like roommates, he withdrew, became disengaged and our connection faded. During this time I started to experience emotional loneliness. He became depressed, created a hoarding scenario in our home and became suicidal with one unsuccessful attempt.
It was 5 months before he passed when he told me he wanted to end things. I thought my marriage was over, but wanted to fight for it, so he agreed to go back to counselling. Then 5 weeks before he died he was in an accident and fractured his leg in 2 places requiring surgery. He was convalescing at home and was in severe distress one morning. I called 911 and watched him take his last breath waiting for them to arrive. I'm experiencing ongoing stress as a result of his traumatic death. As well, in the last 4 years I've experienced 6 deaths, 5 family members and one close friend of almost 30 years. All this chronic stress has affected me physically.
In the last 4 years my friendships have ended. I've been doing my best but without the much desired support of friends. Making friends as I start my 6th decade of life has not been easy, and believe me, I've tried. So my type of loneliness does not stem from memories or boredom. Believe me, I have much to do around the home. And if I could remember what our emotional connection felt like I may not feel so lonely. So I don't dwell on the past. You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
My kind of loneliness is two-fold. And staying busy has not eased this. Trust me, I've tried for 4 years and I'm still lonely.
I have Emotional loneliness from a lack of meaningful relationships, and no one to talk to about life's challenges.
And Social loneliness from not having a reliable social network and lack of close friendships.
I hope this posted wasn't to heavy, that wasn't my intent. Just wanted to clarify my situation as it wasn't the typically widow scenario where I sort through his belongings, donate his clothes and grieve while remembering the good times.
OregonGuy
Senior Member
I share your feeling isolated, craving face-to-face (specially cuddling) contact, and relying on my computer to converse with people. You and I have found this forum for a reason ..
May you (as have I) find friends here who care about you ... I do !
OneEyedDiva
SF VIP
- Location
- New Jersey
Lael...I love that name ! You've come to the right place. There are many nice people here from all over the globe and enough interesting threads to keep you engaged. Feel free to jump right in. I hope the goings on here will help ease your loneliness.
Warrigal
SF VIP
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
Holly's right. This is a good place to find friends, even if we are from the other side of the ocean.
Welcome to Senior Forums from Australia.
Warrigal
SF VIP
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
Welcome Ted. I seem to have missed your introduction
Axel Slingerland
Blues Rocker
- Location
- 10 Miles North of Weedpatch
Hi Lael,
I would say I know how you feel because I've been in similar situations myself. But I don't believe anyone can know exactly how you feel, because they aren't you. But be that as it may, I can relate to how you feel.
So all I can say is stick around. In just the few days I've been here, it's helped me already. Because I know that if I need to talk to someone, I can do that here.
I would say I know how you feel because I've been in similar situations myself. But I don't believe anyone can know exactly how you feel, because they aren't you. But be that as it may, I can relate to how you feel.
So all I can say is stick around. In just the few days I've been here, it's helped me already. Because I know that if I need to talk to someone, I can do that here.