Nobody likes fruitcake - funny Xmas memories

chic

chic

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In my family only my maternal grandmother like fruitcake. Every Christmas, when I was a kid, my family would receive gift foods from our relatives scattered all over the country. You remember how people used to send foods and baked goods through the mail back then?
We'd receive oranges from Florida, canned lobster and blueberry preserves from Maine, designer candies from NY. and a delectable selection of fruits and nuts from CA. Mom used to send them her special homemade chocolate fudge.

One of our relatives sent us a fruitcake every year. When the package arrived, eagerly would we open it (hoping against hope for something different this year) until we discovered inside was a fruitcake. The fruitcake would sit alone and unloved in the refrigerator until Christmas day when it would be placed on a beautiful China plate and served to Grandma who would partake of a modest slice.
After Christmas dinner the fruitcake was shoved back into the fridge. There it remained, untouched, until January when it had hardened to a rock-like density and dad would take a cleaver and a rollingpin and chop it into chunks which we would toss into the snow outside for the birds and squirrels to feast upon.

At least the wildlife enjoyed it.

(You can't regift a fruitcake with a single slice missing).

Do you have any funny Xmas memories???
 

I don't think I know anybody who likes fruitcake. YUCK! But like your family, we'd let it sit around till it got to the consistency of a hockey puck and then throw it out. One year, I remember my sis tried to give a piece to the dog, and even he wouldn't touch it.
 
I LOVE fruitcake, but never get any. But not the hacksaw-and-rolling-pin kind ... :cower:

Great story!
 

As a general rule I don't like fruit cake either but one of my vendors sent me a fruit cake a couple years ago that really was good, it very moist and it tasted like it had been made with rum as one of the ingredients........I'd order one on my own if I could recall the name brand.
 
Just the sight of it kicks my gag reflexes into gear. It was the one cake, my dad was able to leave unattended in my presence and never had to worry about even a crumb being missing. Well at least after that first time he left it and I tried a piece without permission, PHEWY! Lesson learned. Not that I never gave other's a chance to change my mind when they said they had one which taste delish. I'm just not a fan of any cake with lots of fruit, so it's not just this concoction, but, fruitcake is at the top of the list.
 
Nobody in my family made fruitcake. I was like 40 before I had fruitcake from Collin Street Bakery in Cosicana, TX. It was delicious. That said..I loved your story, Chic.

:goodone:
 
Someone in our family had a recipe that only had pineapple, cherries and pecans. That recipe was really good. It's those bitter green and yellow things that ruin it for me.:p
 
I made fruit cakes for years from an old recipe of my grandmother's. Gave it up two years ago as the ingredients were expensive and I find that it is the younger
generation that does not like them. Still make dozens of cookies for family; thinking of giving that up next year - too much work.
 
I've tasted some pretty gross fruit cakes in my life. I've had some that were moist and had a lot of pecans in them that I love. My daughter bought one a few days ago that is just about perfect and it has pecans inside and on the top, nothing like those nasty things of times past.

I can't think of any funny Christmas memories to tell but I enjoyed yours Chic. I wish others would chime in with some nice memories.
 
Love fruitcake, the darker the better. Moist, with lots of brandy. Mmmm. Tortie, would you by chance still have your old family recipe? I would love to try something new. I have a funny Xmas story. My aunt was a nurse who had many British friends who

had left the British Isles after WW2, and migrated to Canada looking for adventure. Missing their families as Xmas season approached, some eagerly awaited care packages from across the pond. This is a true story of one such gift box. Among the

gifts inside the container, were the ingredients for the family fruitcake recipe. All were recognisable with the exception of one envelope containing a gritty, powdery substance. No one knew what it was, but added it to the batter regardless. The cake was

a success--moist, dark, and enjoyed by all. Shortly after Xmas, a letter from England arrived. When my Aunt's friend read it, she shrieked:" my sister says the envelope contains Auntie Hephsie's ashes! Oh my God, we have just eaten Auntie!"
 
I remember we had fruitcake only because my grandfather loved it. I couldn't stand it...However my Mum made a brandy hard sauce to go over it. Guess I had a taste for the bottle even then. Every time I went past the stove I'd lap hard sauce right out of the pot...what a treat!

Something wonderful though was when one of my parent's friends would send cookies every year. You know they must have put much effort into them. Maybe seven different varieties all home made. Ribbons and bows wrapped around each tin. People don't bake like that anymore.
 
I love a nice moist dark fruitcake with marzipan icing. If you've ever had good fruitcake you'll never forget it and be forever out there looking for that perfect one. Hard to find these days and very expensive to bake, considering the cost of nuts these days. True, the maraschino cherries and candied fruit are full of chemicals, but once a year is OK if I can find it. Perhaps online.
 
fureverywhere said:
I remember we had fruitcake only because my grandfather loved it. I couldn't stand it...However my Mum made a brandy hard sauce to go over it. Guess I had a taste for the bottle even then. Every time I went past the stove I'd lap hard sauce right out of the pot...what a treat!

Something wonderful though was when one of my parent's friends would send cookies every year. You know they must have put much effort into them. Maybe seven different varieties all home made. Ribbons and bows wrapped around each tin. People don't bake like that anymore.
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Funny memory Fur, That's the spirit.:eek: People did bake wonderful goodies to share at Xmas. We used to bake and receive baked goods from our neighbors too. Some, who were into crafts, made us gorgeous Xmas wreaths to hang on the front door.

Even when I was a busy college student, I made time to bake goodies to share. It's something that doesn't exist much anymore. Just another example of a bygone age. But it was a fun time and baking stuff, making wreaths, or candy was somehow more meaningful than just buying someone a gift card, right?
 
Shalimar said:
Love fruitcake, the darker the better. Moist, with lots of brandy. Mmmm. Tortie, would you by chance still have your old family recipe? I would love to try something new. I have a funny Xmas story. My aunt was a nurse who had many British friends who

had left the British Isles after WW2, and migrated to Canada looking for adventure. Missing their families as Xmas season approached, some eagerly awaited care packages from across the pond. This is a true story of one such gift box. Among the

gifts inside the container, were the ingredients for the family fruitcake recipe. All were recognisable with the exception of one envelope containing a gritty, powdery substance. No one knew what it was, but added it to the batter regardless. The cake was

a success--moist, dark, and enjoyed by all. Shortly after Xmas, a letter from England arrived. When my Aunt's friend read it, she shrieked:" my sister says the envelope contains Auntie Hephsie's ashes! Oh my God, we have just eaten Auntie!"
Click to expand...
THAT is a Christmas memory! :) I guess it's not really funny but it made me laugh.
 
fureverywhere said:
I remember we had fruitcake only because my grandfather loved it. I couldn't stand it...However my Mum made a brandy hard sauce to go over it. Guess I had a taste for the bottle even then. Every time I went past the stove I'd lap hard sauce right out of the pot...what a treat!

Something wonderful though was when one of my parent's friends would send cookies every year. You know they must have put much effort into them. Maybe seven different varieties all home made. Ribbons and bows wrapped around each tin. People don't bake like that anymore.
Click to expand...
When I get back home I'm going to look for a brandy hard sauce recipe on the internet. I've never had any of it, but it sounds like maybe this will be my new cake frosting recipe. :)
 
IKE said:
As a general rule I don't like fruit cake either but one of my vendors sent me a fruit cake a couple years ago that really was good, it very moist and it tasted like it had been made with rum as one of the ingredients........I'd order one on my own if I could recall the name brand.
Click to expand...

Brandy, maybe?

Myself, I've always hated fruitcake... and all the jokes about them.. "traveling 'round the world", etc..

But a company called Eilenberger's in Palestine, TX. changed my mind. They make an Australian Apricot Cake that melts in your mouth. It's made with apricots, pineapple and apricot brandy.

https://www.eilenbergerbakery.com/site-search-detail/Australian_Apricot_Cake?previous_url_id=0,
 
Have never liked fruitcake, until I was given a gift of chocolate covered fruitcake candies and they were delicious. I got a catalogue from the company today, and they have a chocolate fruitcake loaf instead of the candies, so will try the loaf this year.
Your fruitcake story is hilarious, Chic and Shalimar :lol:
 
Seems like it's a point of pride for people to declare that they hate fruitcake.

When I was a kid, fruitcake was highly prized, probably because it was a sweet treat that didn't need refrigeration. It was usually made in September or October, soaked in brandy, wrapped in cheesecloth and stored in some kind of tin or in something that could be tightly sealed. Every now and then, it was taken out and given another dose of brandy. In our family, it wasn't ever served until Christmas Eve. By Christmas night, there was rarely any left...except for what my grandmother hid in her cold room to save for New Year's Eve.

Fruitcake and a cup of coffee or tea? I'm there! I also like German Stollen, also good with coffee or tea.
 
Nope, nothing prideful about it, the topic comes up often, because people seem to force this delicacy on everyone around the globe as a gift even though so many don't particularly care for it, guess it's just our way of saying STOP IT!,pretty, pretty please. :D I never would have said a word had the lead on the thread title not said, "Nobody likes fruit cake," it was like drug, the title was alluring. Stil I feel no resentment toward those who offer a counter view about how much they enjoy fruitcake and don't think of them as boasting to prove I just haven't tasted the right one, which of course is totally possible. We all have holiday foods we like and dislike tis the season to talk about fruitcake me thinks:) the good and the bad, it's just brings sweet memories even if some might not be able to see it that way.. My memory was of my dad and his fruitcake, the experience makes me smile anytime I think of sneaking that piece of fruitcake, because it reminds me of time spent with my dad. Well, that's the long of it.
 

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