Not a fan of life or living

Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed

Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
Location
Central NY
Strange there is no recourse for living when taking the obvious route is highly frowned upon by society. The US is pro-life no matter the outcome as long as there is life everything will be alright. That's just BS, there should be a living escape clause for people who want their life to on good and positive terms.
Life as it is known is determined by internal and external stimuli from which choices are made. Considered the origin of belief, why do you believe the way you do? Chances are, you adopted your beliefs from different sources and are not completely your own.

I don't like my life only because 34 years is missing due to mental illness. Perhaps this is where you may think ok he has a mental illness therefore he is talking this way because of illness? That's only partially true I'm talking this way because it is too late to do anything meaningful to me.

As long as I can remember I never wanted life, by the time I figured that out I was already born. So I wait that's all I can do.
 

Good grief, man, get help and get a grip. Life is happening and you're missing out. Too late to do anything meaningful? What? It's too late when you're dead, and obviously you aren't dead. Get off your dead (no pun intended) center and get moving. Can't never could.

Sunshine
Ice cream
Laughter of babies and little kids
Chocolate cake
Books
Music
Flowers
Friends
 

Mr. Ed said:
Strange there is no recourse for living when taking the obvious route is highly frowned upon by society. The US is pro-life no matter the outcome as long as there is life everything will be alright. That's just BS, there should be a living escape clause for people who want their life to on good and positive terms.
Life as it is known is determined by internal and external stimuli from which choices are made. Considered the origin of belief, why do you believe the way you do? Chances are, you adopted your beliefs from different sources and are not completely your own.

I don't like my life only because 34 years is missing due to mental illness. Perhaps this is where you may think ok he has a mental illness therefore he is talking this way because of illness? That's only partially true I'm talking this way because it is too late to do anything meaningful to me.

As long as I can remember I never wanted life, by the time I figured that out I was already born. So I wait that's all I can do.
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Oh man, that's a sucky place you're in just now. I have a small time-share there, myself.
If you're anything like me, you'll come out again, even though it may feel like you won't.
Hang on, Mr. Ed. Peace is coming. ♥
 
Mr. Ed said:
That's only partially true I'm talking this way because it is too late to do anything meaningful to me.
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Everything you do is meaningful. You post something here, lots of people read it and are moved in some way. You watch something on TV and laugh. It all has it's own meaning and someday when it's really time to go your life will have been just as meaningful as anyone else's. Who knows what counts the most in the great scheme of things?

BTW I love your new avatar. I smiled, that means something to me!;)
 
Hey Mr. Ed, I won't pretend to know what it's like in your skin, I will only express my empathy in that I too wonder daily about what's the point. I usually wake up and the first word out of my mouth is F***!
No one can ever understand what we are feeling, that's true for all unless they have traveled a similar path. The words of encouragement are not felt when a person is in the place you are at, I know. Some years back, I had reached an all time low both physically and emotionally. I did research on assisted suicide and because it was so expensive I decided to just wait and die. Here I am, better on both counts but not at all happy. I simply exist. I feel as though I am only taking up space and wasting oxygen most times. All of the things I once had done I am no longer able to do. I live in a live version of "Ground Hog Day". Each day I try to hold onto what I can that is good. It is difficult to find those things everyday, but. for some reason those little things are what keep me going and I don't know why. Another question I ask daily, why? Had I been able to go through with the assisted suicide plan I had decided to discuss this with my family. They were aware of my situation. Taking my own life is not on my "bucket list". I have seen the aftermath of that decision and the pain it leaves with those that are a part of our life. The one thing I know helps me is simply talking to people in my age group. Trying to have a discussion or a simple conversation with younger people is more pain than joy, for me. I don't mean talking about my problems, that's a sure way to end any conversation and I really don't enjoy it either. Just good adult communication. No politics or religion!
When I read your post I felt something and wasn't sure what I could say. I write this, I think, only for you to know there are others walking with you. I also know that words are just that, simply words. Mine are sincerely heartfelt and with complete understanding. And so we go on. The best to you.
 
Mr. Ed said:
As long as I can remember I never wanted life, by the time I figured that out I was already born. So I wait that's all I can do.
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I haven't walked in your shoes & am thankful that I haven't. I have experienced times when life was a challenge, but have always been thankful for being born where I could do something about my circumstances.

Try to imagine the life the homeless children in Africa & India are living. 34 years of food, shelter, an education, clothing would seem like a miracle. Sometimes looking at what you have & not what you didn't have helps. You have food, clothing, shelter, education, a way to communicate your thoughts & obviously good mental clarity now. Try to be happy with what you have.
 
I've already looked at all the ways to end my life. None of them are thought provoking, easy or comfortable. Don't do it. I remember one of Dr. G the coroner's cases where a guy's body was found standing up with his upper half hanging over a bridge abutment. He had a bullet wound near the back of his neck. After the autopsy, the only reasonable cause found was suicide. The poor guy shot himself but the bullet missed vital areas and he walked around in pain until his brain swelled enough to finally kill him. This crap could happen with any method you choose.
With respect for those who have died instantly by accident leaving grieving families behind please keep going until it is your time.
 
dko1951 said:
Me, I'm not suicidal, just not happy.
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IMO , the older we get .... the more difficult happiness is to find. Our social circle shrinks, mostly due to a loss in activity , sometimes due to the death of friends.

I hate to sound selfish but the simple truth is ..... we need to learn to like ourselves , and enjoy our own company. If we have had to deal with the death of family/friends ...... We need to learn to be greatful to be us ..... not them.

Don't get me wrong ..... I myself go through those "what's the use days" myself but ...... I just try to remember that , [even though , some days are very trying ... and sometimes very painful] I look forward to the days that are not.

Hang in there my friend.
 
Your life won't last for ever so, instead of moaning about the years you have 'lost', make the most of the years which are left. Sitting on your backside feeling sorry for yourself serves no purpose.
 
Mr. Ed said:
Strange there is no recourse for living when taking the obvious route is highly frowned upon by society. The US is pro-life no matter the outcome as long as there is life everything will be alright. That's just BS, there should be a living escape clause for people who want their life to on good and positive terms.
Life as it is known is determined by internal and external stimuli from which choices are made. Considered the origin of belief, why do you believe the way you do? Chances are, you adopted your beliefs from different sources and are not completely your own.

I don't like my life only because 34 years is missing due to mental illness. Perhaps this is where you may think ok he has a mental illness therefore he is talking this way because of illness? That's only partially true I'm talking this way because it is too late to do anything meaningful to me.

As long as I can remember I never wanted life, by the time I figured that out I was already born. So I wait that's all I can do.
Click to expand...
Mr. Ed:
The one thing I have learned in life is that there are things that I think I know that I later, find out, that I did not know!

Some of those things, when I find out the truth, have had a profound impact on my life. I think you have that same opportunity now. Seek some professional help from someone who is qualified, to help you sort this all out. Tell them what you think and ask them if they see something different. Do this now, or you may miss out on something wonderful for your life. Seek knowledge and find where it takes you...
 
Dude, just a little advice from someone you don’t know. Try being more positive even if you have to force yourself. Look for the good things in life. Go have some fun. Life is full of fun, but you have to go do something. You don’t need to travel, but go to a carnival or a fair or whatever suits you, but do something fun. I just returned from a weekend at a fiddler’s convention where all we did was take turns playing music on Saturday and Sunday. Now that’s a great time.
 
Have physical reasons for your depression been examined? Medications? Brain scans, etc., hormonal levels?

It's more than a change in attitude. People don't want to feel this way, it's torture. Ed is in severe distress and needs medical intervention ASAP. Does your wife know this Ed?
 
When I read the responses to Mr. Ed's post I am struck by a common tone, that Mr. Ed is choosing this for himself and is just sitting around by choice and feeling sorry for himself. I don't know what is keeping him in the place he is at, but I do know when I read suggestions like "Go have an ice cream or go to a fiddle fest" it makes me feel worse. If a persons limitations are preventing them from doing things, to be reminded that you can't do them only magnifies the pain.
Personally, I have difficulty walking, crowds stress me out, traveling even sort distances is very trying, my eyesight is failing and I'm lactose intolerant (so much for ice cream). Also, suggesting he get off his ass (in so many words) isn't a big help. When a person is in this place advice like look for the good or warm and fuzzy things in life don't hit home. I know everyone is doing their best to help Mr. Ed and the efforts are admirable, but when someone says "I don't know what it is to walk in your shoes", if we take a moment before we respond and try to envision what those shoes are like the responses could be more of true compassion and understanding. Please don't take this as anything more than a suggestion. It is not meant as an attack. Written words can be misinterpreted. Here goes.
 
I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. Your post was painful to read. I hope it passes soon and you can at least tolerate. Things go in waves. Life is much harder for some than others. But you matter.
 

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