Not that anyone is asking

Oi vey. Got a call from my oldest son, Grant. He'd gotten a call from my granddaughter, Ali, about my other granddaughter, Mandy, both daughters of my youngest son, Liam. Apparently, Mandy called Ali because her co-habitant boyfriend of four years accused her of sleeping with his best friend and slugged her in the face. Well, Ali lives 600 miles away, but Grant lives within a few blocks of Mandy and her asshole boyfriend, so Ali called Grant and Grant called me to get Mandy and the SOB's address. I don't know the address, but I know the house, and it's only 5 or 6 minutes away from my place, so I told Grant I'd go over there. While I'm on my way, Ali gives Grant the address. So I got there a few minutes after Grant. He's already inside. He checked Mandy's face and told her to get whatever she needs for work tomorrow, and worry about her furniture and clothes and what-the-fork-ever later, and that's when I walk in.

The freaking second I walked in, the asshole starts yelling at me about Mandy and the best friend, and I yelled "Shut the frig up! That's not my problem and I'm not gonna hear it! Just sitcherass down and shut the frig up!" Meanwhile Mandy loses it and yells at the SOBBF "Don't you dare raise your voice to my grandfather!" and Grant redirects her..."Ok, let's go find your work shoes." 🤣

Then the a-hole is all, "Sir, I'm really sorry. I respect you highly, I just....." and I said "I know you hit freaking her. You Freaking Hit Her! And I am this close, fugger. So sit down and Don't...Talk!" And Grant said, "Dude, you really need to do that.
Seriously."

So, Mandy came home with me. She'll need a ride to work tomorrow, because she and the SOBBF only have one car, and he works too. He messaged her on Facebook that he was suicidal. Rookie move. Mandy and I had some yerba mate' and did some deep breathing exercises, and talked. She's asleep now. I told her to stay as long as she needs to, but she might go stay at her mom and dad's. I'm closer to where she works, but they have a spare room.

She'll figure it out. But what a night.

Oh, she brought her cat, Moo-Cow, and fortunately, our cat and hers are getting along just fine.
 

The first thing you should have done when you arrived, call 911 with the address for reporting an assault. The guy should be in jail. No man should raise his hand to a women at any time.

If she has bruising, you should take her to the emergency room in the morning to have her checked and the event recorded. If she wants, help her file charges. At the least she should have this on record in case anything happens in the future.

Oh, he's suicidal, poor baby, call him and see if he needs anything to accomplish the act you will be happy to bring it by.

This just boils my blood. My good Lord, I taught my son you never do that under any circumstance. When he was a teenager, I told him he must always ask for permission for even a kiss, much less anything else.
 
Blessed said:
The first thing you should have done when you arrived, call 911 with the address for reporting an assault. The guy should be in jail. No man should raise his hand to a women at any time.

If she has bruising, you should take her to the emergency room in the morning to have her checked and the event recorded. If she wants, help her file charges. At the least she should have this on record in case anything happens in the future.

Oh, he's suicidal, poor baby, call him and see if he needs anything to accomplish the act you will be happy to bring it by.

This just boils my blood. My good Lord, I taught my son you never do that under any circumstance. When he was a teenager, I told him he must always ask for permission for even a kiss, much less anything else.
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It should be reported and she should be checked out. Murr, I had a terrible fall several days ago and after being checked out at the Hospital I am still finding bruises and aches that are normal. So please have her checked out at the ER and report him for assault. If you don't he will know he can get away with it and do it again. This is all you need with your other troubles. So sorry you are having to deal with this.
 
Murrmurr said:
Oi vey. Got a call from my oldest son, Grant. He'd gotten a call from my granddaughter, Ali, about my other granddaughter, Mandy, both daughters of my youngest son, Liam. Apparently, Mandy called Ali because her co-habitant boyfriend of four years accused her of sleeping with his best friend and slugged her in the face. Well, Ali lives 600 miles away, but Grant lives within a few blocks of Mandy and her asshole boyfriend, so Ali called Grant and Grant called me to get Mandy and the SOB's address. I don't know the address, but I know the house, and it's only 5 or 6 minutes away from my place, so I told Grant I'd go over there. While I'm on my way, Ali gives Grant the address. So I got there a few minutes after Grant. He's already inside. He checked Mandy's face and told her to get whatever she needs for work tomorrow, and worry about her furniture and clothes and what-the-fork-ever later, and that's when I walk in.

The freaking second I walked in, the asshole starts yelling at me about Mandy and the best friend, and I yelled "Shut the frig up! That's not my problem and I'm not gonna hear it! Just sitcherass down and shut the frig up!" Meanwhile Mandy loses it and yells at the SOBBF "Don't you dare raise your voice to my grandfather!" and Grant redirects her..."Ok, let's go find your work shoes." 🤣

Then the a-hole is all, "Sir, I'm really sorry. I respect you highly, I just....." and I said "I know you hit freaking her. You Freaking Hit Her! And I am this close, fugger. So sit down and Don't...Talk!" And Grant said, "Dude, you really need to do that.
Seriously."

So, Mandy came home with me. She'll need a ride to work tomorrow, because she and the SOBBF only have one car, and he works too. He messaged her on Facebook that he was suicidal. Rookie move. Mandy and I had some yerba mate' and did some deep breathing exercises, and talked. She's asleep now. I told her to stay as long as she needs to, but she might go stay at her mom and dad's. I'm closer to where she works, but they have a spare room.

She'll figure it out. But what a night.

Oh, she brought her cat, Moo-Cow, and fortunately, our cat and hers are getting along just fine.
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Never a dull moment, huh?
 
Blessed said:
The first thing you should have done when you arrived, call 911 with the address for reporting an assault. The guy should be in jail. No man should raise his hand to a women at any time.

If she has bruising, you should take her to the emergency room in the morning to have her checked and the event recorded. If she wants, help her file charges. At the least she should have this on record in case anything happens in the future.

Oh, he's suicidal, poor baby, call him and see if he needs anything to accomplish the act you will be happy to bring it by.

This just boils my blood. My good Lord, I taught my son you never do that under any circumstance. When he was a teenager, I told him he must always ask for permission for even a kiss, much less anything else.
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The issue there is that she's 24. The sheriffs office said they'll file my call under "incident" but they won't do anything unless she files a complaint.
 
@Murrmurr, I know she is a grown woman but the police should have been there when you and your son went to get her. You never know what a violent person would do when confronted. There would have been concrete proof of the assualt that could be used to obtain a restraining order. It is up to her, if she chooses to press charges. I know if she is of legal age, that is only a decision she can make or depending on the severity, in some cases, in some states, the police can decide to arrest and press charges.

I hope she never has to see this person again. I just want her (and you) to be safe it this guy goes off the deep end. It has been proven that the most dangerous time for a women who leaves an abuser, is the first few weeks.
 
Blessed said:
@Murrmurr, I know she is a grown woman but the police should have been there when you and your son went to get her. You never know what a violent person would do when confronted. There would have been concrete proof of the assualt that could be used to obtain a restraining order. It is up to her, if she chooses to press charges. I know if she is of legal age, that is only a decision she can make or depending on the severity, in some cases, in some states, the police can decide to arrest and press charges.

I hope she never has to see this person again. I just want her (and you) to be safe it this guy goes off the deep end. It has been proven that the most dangerous time for a women who leaves an abuser, is the first few weeks.
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JaniceM said:
Butt in.. you might end up saving her life
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hollydolly said:
well hopefully if she does... then this clown will know not to mess with her again.. given he now knows he'll have her grandfather, and uncle to contend with... and hopefully he'll have learned his lesson and treat her with the respect she deserves . She's got to understand tho' if she returns and he does it again.. he will NEVER change
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An issue I didn't mention (bc, short on time) - Mandy is an alcoholic and so is the SOBBF. Her father, my son, Liam, gave her a choice; go to rehab and you can live here with mom and I until we get you another job and into a house or apartment ~or~ do what you've been doing and ruin your life and your health. Her sister, Ali, said the same.

Apparently, that's a really tough choice. And Mandy chose wrong. I gave her some parting advice, but she just lowered my expectations by quite a bit. I'm still hopeful but I sure wish she hadn't been born such a stubborn, hard-headed little gal. She always has been.

Mandy...
Amanda -Sept 2018.jpg
 
Well, that kind of presents a whole lot of other concerns for you and her Dad. Both of you have tried to help her get her life on the right track. You can't fix it, she is going to have to hit rock bottom and dig her way out of the mess she is making of her life. As hard as it is, you are just going to have to let her keep falling to her rock bottom.

The whole family needs to come together, and decide the best thing to do is step away if she gets in trouble. When she calls anyone of you for help (including her sister) just tell her you love her but she has decided how she wants to live her life, there is nothing you can do to help her, she will have to help herself. This includes abuse by the boyfriend, finances and every thing else.
 
Blessed said:
Well, that kind of presents a whole lot of other concerns for you and her Dad. Both of you have tried to help her get her life on the right track. You can't fix it, she is going to have to hit rock bottom and dig her way out of the mess she is making of her life. As hard as it is, you are just going to have to let her keep falling to her rock bottom.

The whole family needs to come together, and decide the best thing to do is step away if she gets in trouble. When she calls anyone of you for help (including her sister) just tell her you love her but she has decided how she wants to live her life, there is nothing you can do to help her, she will have to help herself. This includes abuse by the boyfriend, finances and every thing else.
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Yeah, we have some rough roads ahead, I'm sure.

Last month, she almost died in the hospital ER. Alcohol O/D. It was an extremely unpleasant emergency medical detox. I told her rehab isn't like that, it's a treatment program, and a tolerable one. But the detox scared her, I think.
 
Jules said:
She’s a beautiful, young woman. It’s sad that she doesn’t see this.
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She is. But she won't be for long if she doesn't start thinking and listening, and stops lying to herself and everyone who loves her so dearly. She's a tiny thing, too. Delicate-looking. I used to call her Tweety Bird and Little Bird. And she's so bright, an A student every year, and an avid reader. Such promise.

I'm telling you, man, I can't stand it.
 

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