Not that anyone is asking

My oldest daughter had to have everything perfect and would cry if she made a "B" in her classes. Five years later my second daughter was the complete opposite. I did not expect her to be like the first one but she was a hoot! She loved school but just to have fun! She talked too much in class and loved being with her friends. I dreaded report card time but she always pulled it out and managed to pass her classes.
 

I'm going to use "Collin"'s real name from now on. No reason not to since he isn't my foster son anymore.
His name is Paxton.

The black eye his grandmother told me about is a scrape as well as a bruise under his left eye. Tara said his little sister has one too. Little brother threw a large toy airplane at them. Tara said the little brother is becoming a bully. Paxton said it's true; that's what happened. I'm going to encourage him to tell his brother to knock it off. I won't teach him to defend himself by fighting (yet), I'm just going to teach him it's okay to be forceful and commanding with his voice.
 
With all you do for him Murr, it takes Tara off the hook for ignoring his needs. The only problem is, he has to spend most of his time with her. What a good guy you are and he is obviously one happy boy with you. Praying this all turns in both of your favor soon.
 
With all you do for him Murr, it takes Tara off the hook for ignoring his needs. The only problem is, he has to spend most of his time with her. What a good guy you are and he is obviously one happy boy with you. Praying this all turns in both of your favor soon.
It's possible (probably likely) Paxton will reject his mother's lifestyle*, or at least never feel comfortable with it and make better choices. And my door will always be open for him.

*she's a habitual liar, steals what she doesn't feel like buying, thinks welfare is a perfectly reasonable way to "make a living".
 
Got a call from Paxton's grandma, Jackie, last night. After Pax's parents picked him up from my place Tuesday afternoon, they stopped by her place. That's where her boyfriend is working on their broken van. Jackie suspects Paxton's mom is using again; probably crack, she said. She got Paxton's dad alone and asked him about it. He said "yes, a couple of times." He denied doing any himself, and Jackie gave him a pep-talk about staying clean for the kids, and told him that him and the kids could move in with her if the situation gets worse. The situation being Tara's drug use.

Jackie knows it'll get worse.

I'm extremely worried. And I'm really, really angry.
 
Paxton's not coming till tomorrow morning. His mom said it got up to 101 degrees where they live, and she didn't want to make the kids suffer through the drive. They live over an hour away.

Makes sense.

And I just realized that Sunday is Father's Day. The twins will be home with dad on Father's Day, but Paxton will be here. And he was here on his birthday. It's just so strange. I'm glad he's too young to feel weird about it.
 
Paxton's not coming till tomorrow morning. His mom said it got up to 101 degrees where they live, and she didn't want to make the kids suffer through the drive. They live over an hour away.

Makes sense.

And I just realized that Sunday is Father's Day. The twins will be home with dad on Father's Day, but Paxton will be here. And he was here on his birthday. It's just so strange. I'm glad he's too young to feel weird about it.
Have a wonderful "fathers day" with him!
 
Yep. My oldest son always takes me out for breakfast, and the younger one brings Chinese take-out for lunch, and we either watch a ball game or go fishing. So Paxton will be hangin' out with the boys on a leisurely Father's Day. Looking forward to it.
That's perfect! Sounds like Paxton will get to spend time w/some real men on his visit w/you.
He'll be so happy...
 
That's perfect! Sounds like Paxton will get to spend time w/some real men on his visit w/you.
He'll be so happy...
Paxton is especially loving toward my younger son, Liam. When the CPS worker told me I needed to start thinking about adoption, Liam and his wife said they would be happy to raise him. Paxton liked my daughter Maud immediately, but she lives in southern Cal, about 500 miles away, and Grant, my older son, lives nearby but he travels a lot for work and he and his wife normally travel at least twice a year for pleasure. So if adoption had happened, I'd have officially named Liam and his wife Paxton's Godparents.

My point is, Paxton is close to my sons, especially Liam, so spending the day with them will be good times for the Little Man, for sure.
 
I mean it's possible... but usually to inflict injury you have to hit hard..and a 2 year old is rarely able to do that!!...Poor little soul :(.
Both of his arms, the front of both thighs, and his back have multiple bruises and scratches, too. One of his arms looks particularly bad. Nothing on his bottom. I see this every time he's visited this month and it looks worse every visit. Tara said little brother does the same to his twin sister except not as bad. Mostly he pulls her hair. If it's the brother, he needs to see a behaviorist or child psychologist asap. There's something wrong with that kid. If it's Tara or the dad, they need to be in prison.

Tara never saw an obstetrician while she was pregnant with the twins and nobody knows exactly where she was for the last 5 months of her pregnancy. She moved around a lot, probably didn't eat well, and obviously used drugs. They were born a few weeks premature at some birthing center 100 miles away and tested positive for controlled substances. A nurse there called CPS, and CPS took immediate custody and had both babies transferred to a local hospital NICU. The boy was smaller and more fragile than the girl. He had to be intubated and almost died twice. After a month in the hospital, they went into a foster home. Their foster mom was a nurse at that hospital and the foster dad worked there, too.
 
Yesterday, Tuesday, after Paxton had a nap and ate his lunch, we sat in my recliner together and I told him his parents would be picking him up at about 4pm. He cried, but he didn't fall apart and beg me not to let them take him like he usually does, he just teared up and snuggled up and said he didn't want to go. I told him he'd be back, and we talked about all the fun stuff we'd do when he came back.

Close to 4 o'clock, I got a text from Jackie, Paxton's grandma. She said she just got a call from Paxton's dad and he told Jackie to tell me not to let Tara take Paxton. He and Tara were headed this way together when they got in a vicious verbal argument - with the twins in the car - and Tara pulled over and told their dad to get out. He did, and then he called Jackie, and she text me. "Don't let Tara take Paxton! Hide out at your cousin's house!! Go NOW!!!"

A minute later, Tara called. I didn't answer because I was thinking over grounds for refusing to let her take Pax, and the criminal aspects of that. I have no authority over Paxton, so I have no grounds for refusing to give him to his mother, and that would definitely be illegal. She wouldn't just let me say No Can Do and Goodbye. She'd pound on the door, screaming for her kid. She'd bust a window. She might call the police. I could be detained in handcuffs, if not arrested, and Tara would be going off about the whole situation while I was being questioned. And the cops might call child services, and they'd take forever getting here while all that other crap is happening. And Paxton and the twins would see all this. It would probably stick in Paxton's memory. Another trauma.

In the end, I'd never see Paxton again, that's for dang sure. So when Tara immediately called a second time, I answered. She said "I suppose you got a call to not give me Paxton. Well, let me tell you..."

I interrupted with what I had to tell her. I could hear the rage in her voice, so I sort of yelled at her to pull her car over, and we talked for about 10 or 15 minutes. Mostly I talked: I don't want to see anymore injuries on Paxton. If the little brother is doing it, get him some professional help. If you're doing it, I will do whatever I can to take all 3 kids. Let his father have time with him, it isn't favoritism, it's what your son needs. Don't ever fight in front of the kids, ever. Either separate or go back to marriage counseling. And if you're doing drugs, go to rehab maintenance. Faltering is understandable, being a drug-addicted mother is unforgivable.
And I pointed out that if Paxton was sent home all bruised and scratched up after his weekends with Uncle Frank, she'd want to kill me. She'd want me brutally tortured, and then dead and buried in a field. I told her I know what I'm talking about because I know the feeling.

What good our talk will do in the long-run, I don't know. She hugged me when she got here, and Paxton didn't completely fall apart when I buckled him in his car seat and said "See you next time, buddy." I hope there is a next time.
 
Marital spats - they’d get back together and you’d be left without Paxton. Poor little kid.

Is there a chance that Paxton has something that causes him to bruise easily. Not likely, as you’d have noticed when he was little.
 
Marital spats - they’d get back together and you’d be left without Paxton. Poor little kid.

Is there a chance that Paxton has something that causes him to bruise easily. Not likely, as you’d have noticed when he was little.
No, these are definitely injuries. I posted a couple of pictures, post #294. I have a lot of others, too.
 


Back
Top