Not that anyone is asking

I know you are older, I know you have health issues but that does not mean you can't be a great parent. You have a wonderful wife, you are moving into a beautiful home. You have so much to offer a child. If it is decided that he needs to go to someone younger I can see in some ways that might be good. They need to consider where he wants to be, where he feels safe, loved and happy. The other issues can be handled as they come up. He will have brothers and sisters that are older than can fulfill some of those things. He will have cousins to grow up with. Those are the things that make a good childhood, having the love and support of a big family!
 

Jules said:
How did your move go?
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Great! Tonight is our first night in the new-to-us house. Dinner will be delivered in about 30 minutes, and we're gonna enjoy it outside!

We got a LOT done and it looks really nice. One of the first things we noticed is how nice and comfortable the heat-and-air keeps this place. It's awesome.
 

My back is killing me this evening. But it could be worse, though - my sons and a few of their friends helped us move, and my oldest son gave my wife the keys to his panel van and told her to take me to get a new barbecue and lawnmower and yard tools and stuff....to get rid of me while they did the heavy work.

But I've been putting stuff away and then switching the same stuff around. I've dug up some plants from the yard that we don't want, and prepared it for stuff we'll plant in the spring. But I'm not moving heavy stuff except when I can use furniture sliders or this old skateboard I have.

Anyway, I'm gonna stop for a few days to rest my back.

Meanwhile, regarding Paxton (and the twins); the hearing is tomorrow. Judge will decide to either press charges against their mother, or order CPS to return her kids to her. I've offered to testify and/or to give CPS photos of Paxton's injuries that were obviously caused by adult hands, but their new CPS caseworker turned me down. The reason is, my testimony and the photos "are not relative to the case." She means the current case.

As unjust as that is, the caseworker did say she feels they have some strong evidence, and all of it is recent. Plus they have eyewitness testimony from very reliable sources, including professionals.

That's very encouraging.

I still haven't been given permission to visit Paxton and the twins....not yet. But I understand. They need as much time as they can get to become comfortable in the new foster home and with the new foster parents. Foster kids normally have very tight schedules imposed on them, including school, up to 4 hours a day at the visitors center, therapies, doctor and dental appointments....basically, foster kids work all week and have weekends and some holidays off.
 
Pepper said:
Even though I don't always respond, you know I hold you and your family close to my heart dear (((Frank))).
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I know. Thank you, Hon.

I bleed for the poor little man every day. I know every day hurts him. At this point I just hope all this makes him stronger, but, in reality, I know it's wearing down his self-image and confidence. And hope, probably.

And while he sticks up for Paxton sometimes (when Tara isn't on a total rampage), little 3yr-old Landon is learning how to abuse, and Zoey is learning how to manipulate people and how to keep her mouth shut and stay out of trouble but still get what she wants.

Zoey stopped talking, btw. She'll say a word or maybe two now and then, but that's it.

Landon is a tiny guy. The runt of the twins, you might say. He has underdeveloped lungs and heart, and Zoey was diagnosed with autism and PTSD, but Tara denies there's anything wrong with them and refuses to take them to therapy. Because they're perfect. Paxton's the one who has something wrong with him.
 
Murrmurr said:
I know. Thank you, Hon.

I bleed for the poor little man every day. I know every day hurts him. At this point I just hope all this makes him stronger, but, in reality, I know it's wearing down his self-image and confidence. And hope, probably.

And while he sticks up for Paxton sometimes (when Tara isn't on a total rampage), little 3yr-old Landon is learning how to abuse, and Zoey is learning how to manipulate people and how to keep her mouth shut and stay out of trouble but still get what she wants.

Zoey stopped talking, btw. She'll say a word or maybe two now and then, but that's it.

Landon is a tiny guy. The runt of the twins, you might say. He has underdeveloped lungs and heart, and Zoey was diagnosed with autism and PTSD, but Tara denies there's anything wrong with them and refuses to take them to therapy. Because they're perfect. Paxton's the one who has something wrong with him.
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Y'know , the more you read of this, the more it beggars belief that someone knows exactly the abuse children are going through, and yet nothing .. at least nothing up until now is being done to help these children.

We hear so much in the media when a child is abused and ultimately dies.. that ''no-one spotted the signs'', and sometimes even a care worker assigned to them overlooked something obvious.. .. and ''lessons will be learned.''.

.. but this case has you Frank, an educated man, a former foster father of one of the currently abused children .. .. explaining, in minute detail the abuse from the biological family , and even the results of that abuse.. and STILL there's been barely any intervention..

In the UK in the same circumstances, where no-one is really listening.. we could go to the Media... I feel if there was anything else you could do... you would have done it by now... it's just heartbreaking, and shocking to know this is going on.
 
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hollydolly said:
Y'know , the more you read of this, the more it beggars belief that someone knows exactly the abuse children are going through, and yet nothing .. at least nothing up until now is being done to help these children.

We hear so much in the media when a child is abused and ultimately dies.. that ''no-one spotted the signs'', and sometimes even a care worker assigned to them overlooked something obvious.. .. and ''lessons will be learned.''.

.. but this case has you Frank, an educated man, a former foster father of one of the currently abused children .. .. explaining, in minute detail the abuse from the biological family , and even the results of that abuse.. and STILL there's been barely any intervention..

In the UK in the same circumstances, where no-one is really listening.. we could go to the Media... I feel if there was anything else you could do... you would have done it by now... it's just heartbreaking, and shocking to know this is going on.
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Court was yesterday. I don't know what happened yet - it's just a little past 6am. I didn't sleep well, and finally got out of bed at about 4. I'll probably get a call from Jackie sometime today, but she's working holiday hours, which is basically all day until about 9pm. I'll call the caseworker, but doubt she'll tell me anything.

Calif family law purports to cherish and protect the family. The family unit; parents and kids equally. Calif doesn't want to be a state that splits families up. It has this reputation for mending families and putting them back together. Looks good on paper. So, court-ordered counseling for Tara and Paxton, so they can, you know, work through their problems, is just as likely as an order to terminate her parental rights.

One thing in Paxton's favor is that Tara's been going to parenting class and mother's counseling for a few months now (that's what she says anyway :unsure:). And that's good, because she's obviously failing - well, if you can believe a recording, an ER doctor, and Paxton's teacher. I imagine Tara's counselor gave testimony, too. Probably in the form of a written summary. But Tara puts on a really specific act for counselors and caseworkers and such, and I guess they buy it.

I've seen it and it's stupid. She makes her voice all child-like and weepy, and puts on this I got a boo-boo face, and then her eyes get red and misty like she's on the verge of tears, and sometimes she trembles and gets all breathless. "I...I'm not doing meth, Frank, I.. >sniff< ..I swear I'm not. I s-s-swear! uh-uh-wuaaaah!"

Oh Gyawd, it makes me sick!
 
Judge found in favor of CPS - Tara will NOT get Paxton and the twins back !!!

I don't know if he pressed all the charges, or even any of them, but he slapped her with a no-contact order; she is prohibited from any contact with the kids!

Their grandmother, Jackie, wants to be their foster-to-adopt parent but she sold her house to a guy who's evicting her right now.


Holy Cow! I just got a text from the twins' former foster parents...they'll be picking up the kids tomorrow! Paxton's new home! These are really good people, and they know everything about Pax, and they know the twins, even tho it's been a while, and they'll visit often! In fact, I told Mel, the foster mom, that we'll take a kid or two whenever her and her husband get overwhelmed (they have 3 little girls of their own) and she said "Oh, good, we were hoping you two could be our 'extra hands'."

Man, this is perfect!
 
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dobielvr said:
Omgosh that is such great news!!
They finally (CPS) saw the light.

I wonder what it was that led them to that decision......
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The court had an audio recording from Jackie's home security of Tara literally abusing Paxton, hitting him, screaming at him and calling him names, plus an ER doctor and Paxton's teacher testified about his bruises and scratches. The doctor said Pax also has older injuries on his spine, skull, and neck that clearly indicate abuse. He took xrays.

edit: and old injuries to his shoulders, too. Tears in the muscle, indicating she yanked him around by his upper arm, the doc said. Paxton told me that she yanked him up and threw him on his bed, and I reported it to his caseworker. That was last year.
 
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Murrmurr said:
Judge found in favor of CPS - Tara will NOT get Paxton and the twins back !!!

I don't know if he pressed all the charges, or even any of them, but he slapped her with a no-contact order; she is prohibited from any contact with the kids!

Their grandmother, Jackie, wants to be their foster-to-adopt parent but she sold her house to a guy who's evicting her right now.


Holy Cow! I just got a text from the twins' former foster parents...they'll be picking up the kids tomorrow! Paxton's new home! These are really good people, and they know everything about Pax, and they know the twins, even tho it's been a while, and they'll visit often! In fact, I told Mel, the foster mom, that we'll take a kid or two whenever her and her husband get overwhelmed (they have 3 little girls of their own) and she said "Oh, good, we were hoping you two could be our 'extra hands'."

Man, this is perfect!
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wwwwoooooooooohooooooooooo !! There is a God !!
wowo-applause-11.gif
 
Murrmurr said:
The court had an audio recording from Jackie's home security of Tara literally abusing Paxton, hitting him, screaming at him and calling him names, plus an ER doctor and Paxton's teacher testified about his bruises and scratches. The doctor said Pax also has older injuries on his spine, skull, and neck that clearly indicate abuse. He took xrays.
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🥺😢😢😢
 
So much going on for you @Murrmurr. I'm glad you got moved but sorry about your back.

This nightmare with the children. Poor Paxton. OMG. This egg doner should not raise children. That act she puts on is familiar though my own mother was not usually physically abusive. But they can turn it on and off in a split second. I'm glad she won't get them. I hope she never does. These children need resiliency to help counter the abuse they have endured. I hope you will be able to see Paxton often.
 
Murrmurr said:
I know, man. That stuff was really hard to hear. (his gramma read it to me from the court report).

Mel said, if they're not too busy, they'll bring the kids over this weekend. She wants us to be her and Tony's kids' Auntie and Uncle, too.

Tony's out buying beds real quick... :p
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Unko Pwank..Unko Pwank... I'm baaaaackkk... 🥰 they're going to be words that will bring tears to your eyes...
 
Murrmurr said:
Judge found in favor of CPS - Tara will NOT get Paxton and the twins back !!!

I don't know if he pressed all the charges, or even any of them, but he slapped her with a no-contact order; she is prohibited from any contact with the kids!

Their grandmother, Jackie, wants to be their foster-to-adopt parent but she sold her house to a guy who's evicting her right now.


Holy Cow! I just got a text from the twins' former foster parents...they'll be picking up the kids tomorrow! Paxton's new home! These are really good people, and they know everything about Pax, and they know the twins, even tho it's been a while, and they'll visit often! In fact, I told Mel, the foster mom, that we'll take a kid or two whenever her and her husband get overwhelmed (they have 3 little girls of their own) and she said "Oh, good, we were hoping you two could be our 'extra hands'."

Man, this is perfect!
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This is absolutely excellent news! I'm so happy for the children and for you too!
 
Pinky said:
@Murrmurr

Hallelujah! At long last, the truth and facts have been heard and understood by the right person!
You and Michelle must be overjoyed .. and, I am overjoyed for you.
Many Hugs for you both 🤗 ❤️
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I can't wait til Meesh gets home. I texted her already and gave her sort of the nutshell version. She's pretty stoked.

Overjoyed is right! I'm just so happy for Paxton.
 

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