Not that anyone is asking

I'm just so sorry the children especially Paxton had to go through this Trauma for no reason... , I know he's young and thank goodness that he was no older before he was removed, but as you've said yourself Frank, he's going to be traumatised and untrusting of everyone for a while.. poor little mite..
 

hollydolly said:
I'm just so sorry the children especially Paxton had to go through this Trauma for no reason... , I know he's young and thank goodness that he was no older before he was removed, but as you've said yourself Frank, he's going to be traumatised and untrusting of everyone for a while.. poor little mite..
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It's been the stuff of nightmares, literally. It's no freaking wonder he's changed; gotten sullen and angry. It's like night and day. He was such a ray of sunshine when they took him from here. But I know he'll be happy now. Tony's into sports and stuff, and Mel loves being a mom, and they're into educational toys and camping and swimming and all that wholesome stuff.

Their 6yr-old daughter has never forgotten the twins. She adored them when they were fostered there, so she's pretty thrilled about the whole thing too.
 
Doing My Happy Dance!
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​
 
I'm so happy to hear this but sad, too, just thinking about what a long hard road it's been for Paxton and the twins and of course all the heartbreak for Frank.

I hope Tara moves across country, gets a tubal ligation, a job as a stripper, and some big man to try to control and abuse. Deep down she has to be relieved, she never wanted the work of parenting, she just wanted control.

May she never darken the children's path again.
 
Della said:
I'm so happy to hear this but sad, too, just thinking about what a long hard road it's been for Paxton and the twins and of course all the heartbreak for Frank.

I hope Tara moves across country, gets a tubal ligation, a job as a stripper, and some big man to try to control and abuse. Deep down she has to be relieved, she never wanted the work of parenting, she just wanted control.

May she never darken the children's path again.
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But as there's evidence, why can't she be prosecuted for child abuse??
 
JaniceM said:
But as there's evidence, why can't she be prosecuted for child abuse??
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I don't have many details, but there was this text from Jackie (Pax's gramma) that goes like this: "She still can't see the kids."

I thought that wording was strange. I think the judge ordered no contact and then set a date for a hearing on the charges. I'm just guessing, though. And CPS/the state feel they have a pretty good case because they placed the kids in a foster-to-adopt situation.

If that's how it went down then the actual trial could be several months away, and Tara could just be on probation until then. And if she's found guilty, the state could ask the judge to give her so-many years of probation and psych counseling or anger management therapy instead of jail time. Judge will probably terminate her parental rights in any case. I don't give a crap about the sentence as long as she loses her parental rights forever.
 
Murrmurr said:
I don't have many details, but there was this text from Jackie (Pax's gramma) that goes like this: "She still can't see the kids."

I thought that wording was strange. I think the judge ordered no contact and then set a date for a hearing on the charges. I'm just guessing, though. And CPS/the state feel they have a pretty good case because they placed the kids in a foster-to-adopt situation.

If that's how it went down then the actual trial could be several months away, and Tara could just be on probation until then. And if she's found guilty, the state could ask the judge to give her so-many years of probation and psych counseling or anger management therapy instead of jail time. Judge will probably terminate her parental rights in any case. I don't give a crap about the sentence as long as she loses her parental rights forever.
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True, no longer having access to the children should be the #1 priority.
 
Della said:
I'm so happy to hear this but sad, too, just thinking about what a long hard road it's been for Paxton and the twins and of course all the heartbreak for Frank.

I hope Tara moves across country, gets a tubal ligation, a job as a stripper, and some big man to try to control and abuse. Deep down she has to be relieved, she never wanted the work of parenting, she just wanted control.

May she never darken the children's path again.
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Two years ago (almost to the day) Tara was about to get custody of her kids. This was after the 1st time CPS took them. Paxton was 2 1/2 and had been living here since he was a newborn. Tara knew he was extremely attached to me, and at that time, she just wanted the twins, who were about 18 months old.

I told Tara that I'd raise Paxton, that she could just not pick him up on the date the court said she could go get her kids and take 'em home. I told her, maybe he'll want to go live with her when he's 8, or 10, or 13, and when that time came, I'd let him (if it was safe).

She agreed to that! We had that agreement. But we also agreed not to tell anyone except close family. But she told her social worker. She was being altruistic....she was gonna be getting food stamps, and she said she only needed them for 2 kids, not 3. That messed everything up. The court ordered her to come and get Paxton.

So you see, she never really wanted him. She wanted me to keep him, she just didn't want him to call me Dad, is all.

Yeah, she treats them like pets.
 
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JaniceM said:
True, no longer having access to the children should be the #1 priority.
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Their new foster parents are friends of mine. They'll keep me updated on court-related stuff.

CPS usually keeps foster parents in the dark, but since this is a possible adoption, they'll probably keep Mel and Tony informed of all the legal matters. And Mel and Tony will keep me informed because they know I can keep my mouth shut.
 
Tish said:
*Sigh* It really breaks my heart to hear of Paxton's injuries, but it also has me enraged that his teacher reports to CPS were ignored. :cry::mad:

Congratulation on your new house.
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For MONTHS. Many months, in fact. And her most recent report was called in the day before Jackie called the police after she saw her home security video. Cops sent the vid to CPS and that's when they finally did something. ...because a cop had seen it?

:mad:
 
Murrmurr said:
For MONTHS. Many months, in fact. And her most recent report was called in the day before Jackie called the police after she saw her home security video. Cops sent the vid to CPS and that's when they finally did something. ...because a cop had seen it?

:mad:
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Oh God Frank, that is absolutely horrible, how can they justify being so negligent?
That poor little guy, it just breaks my heart.
 
Mel, Paxton's foster mom, asked his new caseworker if they can bring him to visit me and if it's ok for him to talk to me on the phone. The thing that pisses me off about that is the actual caseworker is on vacation and the back-up worker doesn't want to "go out on a limb." I don't blame Mel for asking, she wants to keep the kids, and so she's being a good team-player.

But it could be weeks before the worker gets back to her. This person is newly assigned and went on vacation a day or 2 after CPS took the kids, so when she gets back, she's gonna have to review the whole case, hearings and all.

Mel said in a text that Paxton asked about me as soon as they got to her house. I told her to let him know I'm a dear friend of hers and Tony's. She text again that she told Paxton that and he started singing a song called "I'm So Happy."

She told the worker that when she asked if he could call and/or visit me. And yet.....

Mel also text me on Sunday morning saying Paxton had nightmares Saturday night, and asked if there's anything she could do. Paxton has had nightmares or night-terrors, since infancy, so it might be a brain chemistry imbalance due to prenatal drug exposure, and maybe the actual terror from abuse and watching his parent's horrible fights exacerbate that, or keep the brain chemistry from becoming balanced naturally.

I told her I rocked him until he was 2, of course, and when I only had him on weekends (sometimes 4-days long) I started laying down next to him and used white-noise from a fan, this stuffed bear that projects stars onto the ceiling, and sometimes gentle music. That worked until the abuse got worse. Then all I could do was hold him and let him cry and tell him I was sorry, and he's so brave, and I love him, and I was trying to help him.

When I do finally get to see him, unsupervised, I'm going to explain how Family Court and CPS works. I'll explain it at his 4yr-old level. In fact, I found a few videos that do that, but they make both systems sound unquestionably ethical and even care free, so I'm gonna explain it from a much more realistic perspective. He has to know I tried to keep him safe, despite what we're up against, and that I'll keep trying because he's worth it; he's a good boy, and smart and talented and 100% lovable.

I'm also gonna tell him that I totally believe Mel and Tony feel the same way.
 
In other news:

My back is not much better and it's effecting my legs. I even fell down a couple days ago when my legs suddenly went weak, like they just turned off. I was outside, fell against a brick border and buggered up my knee pretty good.

I haven't rested my back enough. I keep finding stuff to do around the house and in the yards (or, for my UK friends; the gardens). So I'm going to work harder at not working too hard.

By next spring, I want to have assembled a small swing set and built a teeter-totter, and we're gonna buy a kiddie pool. I like the ones that convert to a sandbox. Or maybe we'll just get a sandbox, because, imo, running through a sprinkler is way more fun than sitting in a little pool. So, yeah, if anything, it'll be a sandbox. Ooh! Better yet, a tree house! Our orange tree is really big and chunky. I'm going to test it out to see if it's strong enough for a tree-house! It's about 10 years old, so I bet it is.
 
Tish said:
Oh God Frank, that is absolutely horrible, how can they justify being so negligent?
That poor little guy, it just breaks my heart.
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There is no justification as far as I'm concerned. I'm 100% convinced both systems, Family Court and CPS, are tax-dollar greedy and flat-out dishonest.

You can multiply Paxton by millions. Every single year, children's protective and social services messes up millions of kids, babies to teens. The suicide rate, the substance addiction rate, and the crime and incarceration rate for foster kids and former foster kids are all disproportionately high. The system literally produces people with mental illness, substance dependency, and criminal tendencies. But popular politicians don't talk about these numbers, and popular media very rarely publishes them.
 
@Murrmurr

How maddening that the system is as screwed up as it is, when young lives are at stake.

It's so heartening that Paxton wants to see you so badly. With your love, love from his new family and home, he will pull through.

As for you ... PLEASE don't over-tax yourself physically. I know you're excited being in your new house,
but things can wait to be done.

🤗
 
Murrmurr said:
Mel, Paxton's foster mom, asked his new caseworker if they can bring him to visit me and if it's ok for him to talk to me on the phone. The thing that pisses me off about that is the actual caseworker is on vacation and the back-up worker doesn't want to "go out on a limb." I don't blame Mel for asking, she wants to keep the kids, and so she's being a good team-player.

But it could be weeks before the worker gets back to her. This person is newly assigned and went on vacation a day or 2 after CPS took the kids, so when she gets back, she's gonna have to review the whole case, hearings and all.

Mel said in a text that Paxton asked about me as soon as they got to her house. I told her to let him know I'm a dear friend of hers and Tony's. She text again that she told Paxton that and he started singing a song called "I'm So Happy."

She told the worker that when she asked if he could call and/or visit me. And yet.....

Mel also text me on Sunday morning saying Paxton had nightmares Saturday night, and asked if there's anything she could do. Paxton has had nightmares or night-terrors, since infancy, so it might be a brain chemistry imbalance due to prenatal drug exposure, and maybe the actual terror from abuse and watching his parent's horrible fights exacerbate that, or keep the brain chemistry from becoming balanced naturally.

I told her I rocked him until he was 2, of course, and when I only had him on weekends (sometimes 4-days long) I started laying down next to him and used white-noise from a fan, this stuffed bear that projects stars onto the ceiling, and sometimes gentle music. That worked until the abuse got worse. Then all I could do was hold him and let him cry and tell him I was sorry, and he's so brave, and I love him, and I was trying to help him.

When I do finally get to see him, unsupervised, I'm going to explain how Family Court and CPS works. I'll explain it at his 4yr-old level. In fact, I found a few videos that do that, but they make both systems sound unquestionably ethical and even care free, so I'm gonna explain it from a much more realistic perspective. He has to know I tried to keep him safe, despite what we're up against, and that I'll keep trying because he's worth it; he's a good boy, and smart and talented and 100% lovable.

I'm also gonna tell him that I totally believe Mel and Tony feel the same way.
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This didn't occur to me til I received an email newsletter, it was about California but the problem is much more widespread.. I don't mean to butt in, but knowing you have Paxton's best interests in mind, PLEASE advise his foster parents to not allow that little boy and his twin siblings to become victims of psychatric drugging.. certainly they've all been through a lot, but this all-too-popular practice (especially among foster children) is NOT the way to address it...
 

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