Oh, God! Why are you reading this?

I want to get a new TV console. There's one I like, but it costs $899. Guess what, there's a huge sale at the furniture store for Labor Day.
On their website, they have a clock ticking away till the sale ends. They slashed price by at least 10%. The console was $899, but the new price is $999, but it's on sale for $899- WOW!! 10% Off!!!
Kind of puts used car dealerships to shame.
 

My lawyer said prepaying for cremation was the way to go, so I've been checking out local hot oven shops. And I came across something I hadn't figured on- my obituary. Now, you can write your own obit. What would I put down? I guess I should mention my Olympic Gold Medals, and the time I was knighted by the Pope and QE2. Probably should mention I started Microsoft, and Apple too. Of course, in my 20s, I played pro football as a quarterback, and broke Babe Ruth's batting average when I played pro-baseball. Come on, who fact checks obituaries?;)
 
I'm truly amazed at the kindness of people. Shopping, yesterday, I used one of those electric shopping carts, and people were so helpful. Women usually are, but lots of men wanted to help, too. That led to a conclusion. It's either people are generally warm hearted and filled with brotherly love, or I really must look like hell.
 
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Some grocery stores will give "points" for the amount you spend, and if you get enough points you get 20 cents off something you'd never buy. At the check out, a lady was 6 points away from getting 20 cents off some bananas. The clerk couldn't give her the discount, so we had to get the manger thing. No deal. Then the lady wondered if she got 3 oranges instead of two would that put her over the 6 points. No. So, we began going through her order trying to find 6 points, but not spending any money to get the points. I had all my stuff on the counter and there was a huge line now behind me. I think the Supreme Court would agree it would be perfectly legal to strangle her.
 

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