Ready to marry

H

halalu

Member
Location
midwest
Now that I am older, experienced and living the last days of my time on this planet, I am ready to experience something I haven't done before. I think that I will try to get married. I think that I am deciding to get married because I know the chances of finding someone to marry are almost zero to null. I would like to try it.

Old on old what do you think about that?

Oh yeah, the job did not work out. I had to leave before they smothered and choked what life I still have out of me. So, I am on another adventure or two adventures husband shopping and looking for work. :rolleyes:
 

Good luck with both! You're never too old to find that special someone out there to share your golden years with. Just beware of the scammers, especially if you 'shop' online.
 
You speak truth I will not shop online. To be honest, I enjoy not wearing make-up and dressing in baggy clothes too much. No man is looking at me. I let my hair blow and I just enjoy being showered and loose. Who wants that?
 

I am a bit confused with what you actually want?If you enjoy being unconventional, wearing what you please, not bothering about how you look, why are you trying to get married?You will then have to think about what that person wants, and unless they love all the things you do, then compromise is the name of the game.Don't look to get married, just look to find somebody who is a bit like you are and see what happens.
 
halalu said:
You speak truth I will not shop online. To be honest, I enjoy not wearing make-up and dressing in baggy clothes too much. No man is looking at me. I let my hair blow and I just enjoy being showered and loose. Who wants that?
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So if you are not going to an online site... how are you planning on meeting your new husband? By the way... I met my husband online... We will be married 12 years in July. So don't think online is never a good thing... particularly as we get older and the pool of potential candidates is smaller.
 
QuickSilver said:
So if you are not going to an online site... how are you planning on meeting your new husband? By the way... I met my husband online... We will be married 12 years in July. So don't think online is never a good thing... particularly as we get older and the pool of potential candidates is smaller.
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15 years for me in April. And I found mine across the pond! ;)
 
Living in a senior community, I've found it interesting that many of the "couples" here are not married. Most have been married before, and apparently are in no hurry to plunge in again. Many of them maintain their separate homes, but spend a huge amount of time together, going on trips together, and to the theatre, shopping, medical appointments, etc., the same as a married couple would do. But even for those raised in the "old days," many of them see no need for that formal piece of paper. They have the best of both worlds, as I see it: they enjoy their independence, but have the companionship of the other person when they want it.
 
Not to mention, some women are getting their late husband's pensions.. which may stop if they remarried. Sometimes it makes financial sense to not marry but to live together.
 
errrm, I'm confused, is the Op saying she doesn't care of her appearance, doesn't want to find someone online, has no current man in her life, no job, but has decided to get married?...who to?..how? Is this for real?
 
I can't wait to read more replies to this lady. Out of curiosity, is there "something strange goin' on in the neighborhood?" (from the movie theme, Ghostbuster's).
 
hollydolly said:
Well arranged marriages still happens in some Indian and Pakistani communities even today...
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And Australia, One of the local doctors had an arranged marriage, and even tho his brother has lived in Australia for some time he recently went " home " to Pakistan to get married arranged by his parents ( he is in his early 30 s) we know him as he lived next door to us for 2 years
 
halalu said:
Now that I am older, experienced and living the last days of my time on this planet, I am ready to experience something I haven't done before. I think that I will try to get married. I think that I am deciding to get married because I know the chances of finding someone to marry are almost zero to null. I would like to try it.

Old on old what do you think about that?

Oh yeah, the job did not work out. I had to leave before they smothered and choked what life I still have out of me. So, I am on another adventure or two adventures husband shopping and looking for work. :rolleyes:
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I think that you should think about the commitment that you are flirting with. In particular the vows

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
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These are the traditional vows that underpin marriage, and although people write their own vows these days, couples still expect that marriage will entail most of the above.

Are you prepared to bind yourself to someone who will deteriorate in health and will you be there for them until they die? This can be a hard ask for people who have been together for decades. At my age, if I were contemplating marriage, there would have to be a lot of discussion about expectations relating to end of life before I would take the leap into matrimony.

If you choose someone who has children and grandchildren there will be other minefields to navigate as well.

My advice - look very well before you leap.
 
Dame Warrigal said:
Are you prepared to bind yourself to someone who will deteriorate in health and will you be there for them until they die? This can be a hard ask for people who have been together for decades. At my age, if I were contemplating marriage, there would have to be a lot of discussion about expectations relating to end of life before I would take the leap into matrimony.

If you choose someone who has children and grandchildren there will be other minefields to navigate as well.

My advice - look very well before you leap.
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True words, Dame Warrigal. If my husband had survived his heart attack and had been an invalid the rest of his life, I would have figuratively carried him on my back if necessary because that have been *my job*.....I stood in church and vowed "in sickness and in health" and I meant every word of it. However, when I started dating again at 60, I frankly had no interest in taking on nursing duties. I went out for a while with a sweet, loving man, but he was ill and hadn't taken care of himself. I was realistic that I would have an invalid on my hands within a few years and I just couldn't do it. He wasn't the man I had been married to for 37 years, he wasn't the father of my child, he wasn't the man I had literally grown up with. I know that I can't forsee the future and that anyone I would get involved with had a chance of getting sick/dying at any time, but this was a guaranteed outcome....he WAS going to be an invalid before long. We parted ways.

That said, the man I've been with for the last 5 1/2 years is the man I will spend the rest of my life with in un-wedded bliss. If he gets sick, I WILL stay with him and care for him. BUT, and it's a big BUT, I have made it very clear to him that I will not be responsible for the funeral that he wants. My family goes for cremation and we don't have funerals, we have memorial services that would pass on any other occasion as a "party" (we had a luau on the beach for my dad and a BBQ at his favorite fishcamp for my late husband). It doesn't cost much and I think they were looking down and grinning. Now, his family is big on big funerals, nice caskets, burial plots, gravestones. The last funeral in his family cost $25,000. He understands that if he wants that kind of funeral, he had better set up a fund for it or make sure his sons pay for it (like THAT'S going to happen....) My arrangements have been made and paid for.
 
halalu said:
Now that I am older, experienced and living the last days of my time on this planet, I am ready to experience something I haven't done before. I think that I will try to get married. I think that I am deciding to get married because I know the chances of finding someone to marry are almost zero to null. I would like to try it.

Old on old what do you think about that?

Oh yeah, the job did not work out. I had to leave before they smothered and choked what life I still have out of me. So, I am on another adventure or two adventures husband shopping and looking for work. :rolleyes:
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You're yanking our collective chain, right? Surely you are, right? Husband shopping? Nonononononono! Looking for work? Sure. Go ahead.
 
I suppose "husband shopping" sounds crass.. It's like putting a human in the possession category. However in reality, isn't that what most of us do? I know I did.. with all three of my husbands. All three times, I was "in the market" for a partner and actively looked for him. None of them simply appeared at my doorstep on one knee, with a bouquet of flowers and an engagement ring. I had to put myself out there and actively look.
 
QuickSilver said:
I suppose "husband shopping" sounds crass.. It's like putting a human in the possession category. However in reality, isn't that what most of us do? I know I did.. with all three of my husbands. All three times, I was "in the market" for a partner and actively looked for him. None of them simply appeared at my doorstep on one knee, with a bouquet of flowers and an engagement ring. I had to put myself out there and actively look.
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I hate to call it husband shopping, but I like to say I got my (current and final) husband for $99. The annual fee for Oneandonly.com. :sentimental:
 

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