Reflections of My Life

In May of 2018 I moved from my off-the-grid (off the utility grid) homestead and left behind my beloved horses, one cat (she would have hated living in an apartment) and my marriage. It was not a spur of the moment thing. As I was getting older and was doing less and being dependent on my husband for many things, I had become quite depressed. I kept telling him. One big problem was that even though it should have been very cheap living there, he kept using credit cards (including mine) and had a motorcycle and truck (that I was not comfortable driving so did not) payments. Sometimes we did not have food. In the beginning there, I had 16 raised garden beds and dried and canned lots of food. But as I got where I could barely walk, less and less.

Once I started getting my Social Security, I was eager to leave and told him I would. Until then I had no money. When I sold stuff on eBay we had to use it for food, hay or gas. He did not think I really would. The day actually came that I was able to leave. Mainly due to applying for senior housing that is subsidized based on your income. It was a lifesaver for me. I had not been to a doctor in years (and I was almost 66) or a dentist. I was for most of my life a stay at home mother because my first husband had his own business and my son is disabled. So I took care of him. I know people put down others who use services that are available to people with low incomes, but sometimes it is not something you do on purpose. This was my only chance and I was getting older. I do not regret it one bit and my life has turned around.
Katlupe...so admire you for taking action before it might have been too late. I hope you are happy now. My mother always used to say she'd rather live in a little room with just a pot and a pan than to live with a
man that pushed you in the grave. You would have had one foot in and the other one sliding if you weren't brave and courageous enough to take action.

As for the low income services, so happy they were there for you.
 

Katlupe...so admire you for taking action before it might have been too late. I hope you are happy now. My mother always used to say she'd rather live in a little room with just a pot and a pan than to live with a
man that pushed you in the grave. You would have had one foot in and the other one sliding if you weren't brave and courageous enough to take action.

As for the low income services, so happy they were there for you.
Thank you for your kind words. Some people looked down on me for leaving my husband. And for receiving benefits but I did pay taxes for many years so I figure maybe it evens out.
 
Today is the day I was looking forward to......February first. A lot of things going on in my life right now.

It is supposed to be very cold the next few days. It would not affect me so much except that I have to go out on Friday. That is my errand day and the day I deal with my son's money and get his and my money orders for our rent. I so wish, both his landlord and mine would start letting us pay online. So much easier for them too.

So for the whole month of January, I walked laps around my hallway (about 200 ft. for each lap). I only missed 3 days. The first week I did not walk as many laps as I did starting about the 2nd week. So far 8 laps is all I am able to do because of my knees. But I am proud of myself for starting this and to continue on. So many times I start to do something and then miss a few days and then just stop all together.

I made Noodle-Less Chicken Soup using skinless, boneless chicken thighs. I never buy those but when the Instacart shopper got my groceries, Aldi's was out of the normal ones. So I said it was okay to substitute these. Easiest soup I ever made! Usually I cook the chicken first, then take the skin and bones off. This time that job was completely gone! No handling hot chicken taking the skin and bones off. When it was cooked the chicken just shredded itself when I pressed it with a big fork. Then put the soup ingredients in and back in the IP for about 3 minutes. From now on I will buy a package of both types of chicken.

Stay warm!
 
Kat I almost always use skinless thighs.. not boneless because I know the flavour comes from the bones.. and anyway it's cheaper to buy it bones in albeit skinless, than it is to but it boneless.. by a HUGE margin..

However since I've been buying chicken in Bulk at Costco.. I now find myself buying chicken drumsticks skin and bone in... simply because of the Massive difference in price..

I get 24 Chicken legs.. for less than £5..00...skin on... but buying them skinless.. costs 4 times that amount...
 
i detest going out...now been called to jury duty...sinks my spirit
I hadn't seen you for awhile. Glad you are on today!

I was called for jury duty a number of years back and I had an unreliable car and could barely walk. The judge called everyone who felt they could not serve to come to the front. People had all kinds of reasons. He let one guy go because he was friends with the defendant. And me. I was standing there in pain with tears in my eyes..........he told me I did not have to come back for I think 5 years, not sure about that. Have not been called again but I am just down the street now.
 
Kat I almost always use skinless thighs.. not boneless because I know the flavour comes from the bones.. and anyway it's cheaper to buy it bones in albeit skinless, than it is to but it boneless.. by a HUGE margin..

However since I've been buying chicken in Bulk at Costco.. I now find myself buying chicken drumsticks skin and bone in... simply because of the Massive difference in price..

I get 24 Chicken legs.. for less than £5..00...skin on... but buying them skinless.. costs 4 times that amount...
Well, eating keto, chicken with the skin is part of it. I love the thighs in the oven with crunchy skin. But for soup I remove the skin after having cooking the chicken and remove the bones. So I never tried the skinless or boneless before. And it is more expensive. I will buy it this way in the future for soups. It was really good. Our chicken has gone up considerably so not so many deals on right now.
 
Last night I was watching videos on the television so was sitting in my chair. Only one small lamp was on so it was cozy in here. Rabbit was on that thick bathroom rug I put out here for him since it is thicker and probably warmer on the floor. He had his back facing me and was stretched out. About two feet from the heater (electric along the bottom of the floor). Just seemed so content and comfy. I guess I will get a new bathroom rug. In fact, he is on it right now. It is only 5 degrees out so even with the heater going on and off feels cool in here.

Since my friend and I have been walking our hall every morning, we see others on our floor leaving their apartments. My neighbor next door has always been kind of grumpy. He takes his dog out and as soon as his dog sees us he drags him to us to say hi. We pet him and make a fuss over him. So when he comes back in, he rushes to us again. Now the grumpy guy is not so grumpy and even laughs and makes little jokes. Dogs are good for people.
 
Wonder why people do not care to be tactful on forums like this? They come across as a real grumpy old lady when they post things that are rude. If someone says they like something, they HAVE to put a rude comment down. You know what? I do not care what their opinion is. That is why I don't open conversations or take part in many. Sometimes I just do not respond to them Two in two days. I have had my fill of it for now.
 
Yesterday I went shopping as usual on the third. It was super cold and windy. I felt bad that Sonny had to come out in it but he said it is his job that he signed up for it (meaning me, he signed up for me). Never complains. Just does whatever I need even if it is difficult or he does not feel like it. I should have taken a picture of my walker when I came home. It was piled high with bags. Of course, I dripped ice, snow and water from the ramp door to my apartment but it couldn't be helped. The ramp was covered with snow.

So today I will be vacuum packing the chicken and pork chops. I like to cook but I have gotten a bit lazy since standing for very long is one of the hardest things I can do. Now I buy those frozen ground beef patties at Walmart. Yesterday I bought two bags. Like fast food for me. They taste way better than Burger King and I used to like them. Sonny was hungry yesterday so asked if I would eat a burger. I said yes, even though I did not want one. So I just ordered the plain cheese burger and took it off the bun. I knew he was hungry (because he does not make any food in the morning even if he is going somewhere) and would not eat unless I did. So that worked.

The Food Bank of Central NY brought the food delivery on Thursday. Two boxes for each apartment. I think the apartments that have two people living there should get four boxes but that is not the way it works. The only thing I kept from it was a head of cabbage which I plan to be cooking today. The rest I gave to my son and Sonny. One nice thing included in it was a huge bright red tomato. I could have eaten that but not in one day and fresh tomatoes lately have been making my mouth sore. So I gave it to my son. I am so glad I did. I showed it to him and he smiled (big smile!) and asked me where I got that. I told him and then asked him if he wanted it. He did. He kept looking at it and then said it reminded him of his grandpa's (my father) garden. Yes, so glad I gave it to him.

It is -15 now according to my phone. Going to keep my windows blocked. Staying busy. Two things that warm you up when it is so cold is eating food and activity. When I lived on my homestead cold mornings like this meant keep piling wood into the two wood stoves and making sure our horses had plenty of fresh water and hay. Hay warms them up more than feed does. When it was super cold they would choose the hay first. The water buckets would freeze solid. So we always kept one bucket of water in the house overnight for morning. Our pitcher pump worked in extreme cold, just had to prime it with a little warm water first. It was very important to always put the handle up though to empty the water out of the pipe. If that froze in the pipe we would have been in trouble!
 
When Sonny called he told me he has been without power for several hours already. Good thing he has a propane heater that does not use electric for back up. His gas stove too, he can cook on it. He said he heats water on it and then it pours it through the filter on his electric coffee maker. Lots of people on fakebook having trouble with either power, water pipes freezing, furnaces or stoves. My one friend said her fuel oil had gelled up. It is harder for people in the country I think. Unless a tree falls on the wires here.
 
Yesterday I went shopping as usual on the third. It was super cold and windy. I felt bad that Sonny had to come out in it but he said it is his job that he signed up for it (meaning me, he signed up for me). Never complains. Just does whatever I need even if it is difficult or he does not feel like it. I should have taken a picture of my walker when I came home. It was piled high with bags. Of course, I dripped ice, snow and water from the ramp door to my apartment but it couldn't be helped. The ramp was covered with snow.

So today I will be vacuum packing the chicken and pork chops. I like to cook but I have gotten a bit lazy since standing for very long is one of the hardest things I can do. Now I buy those frozen ground beef patties at Walmart. Yesterday I bought two bags. Like fast food for me. They taste way better than Burger King and I used to like them. Sonny was hungry yesterday so asked if I would eat a burger. I said yes, even though I did not want one. So I just ordered the plain cheese burger and took it off the bun. I knew he was hungry (because he does not make any food in the morning even if he is going somewhere) and would not eat unless I did. So that worked.

The Food Bank of Central NY brought the food delivery on Thursday. Two boxes for each apartment. I think the apartments that have two people living there should get four boxes but that is not the way it works. The only thing I kept from it was a head of cabbage which I plan to be cooking today. The rest I gave to my son and Sonny. One nice thing included in it was a huge bright red tomato. I could have eaten that but not in one day and fresh tomatoes lately have been making my mouth sore. So I gave it to my son. I am so glad I did. I showed it to him and he smiled (big smile!) and asked me where I got that. I told him and then asked him if he wanted it. He did. He kept looking at it and then said it reminded him of his grandpa's (my father) garden. Yes, so glad I gave it to him.

It is -15 now according to my phone. Going to keep my windows blocked. Staying busy. Two things that warm you up when it is so cold is eating food and activity. When I lived on my homestead cold mornings like this meant keep piling wood into the two wood stoves and making sure our horses had plenty of fresh water and hay. Hay warms them up more than feed does. When it was super cold they would choose the hay first. The water buckets would freeze solid. So we always kept one bucket of water in the house overnight for morning. Our pitcher pump worked in extreme cold, just had to prime it with a little warm water first. It was very important to always put the handle up though to empty the water out of the pipe. If that froze in the pipe we would have been in trouble!
Thanks, @katlupe for sharing your story with us. Nice image that you gave of the "huge bright red tomato" and your son's smile. I haven't eaten a tomato in five months, since I began the keto. I particularly liked your sharing about living on your homestead and what you had to do to survive the freezing cold! It was interesting what you said about the hay warming the horses.
 
Wonder why people do not care to be tactful on forums like this? They come across as a real grumpy old lady when they post things that are rude. If someone says they like something, they HAVE to put a rude comment down. You know what? I do not care what their opinion is. That is why I don't open conversations or take part in many. Sometimes I just do not respond to them Two in two days. I have had my fill of it for now.
I hear ya Kat.. there's a solid few of them who are just nasty for nasty's sake... they're old, embittered, jealous and ugly inside and out... Put them on ignore like I do.. what you don't read can't upset you...
 
I hadn't seen you for awhile. Glad you are on today!

I was called for jury duty a number of years back and I had an unreliable car and could barely walk. The judge called everyone who felt they could not serve to come to the front. People had all kinds of reasons. He let one guy go because he was friends with the defendant. And me. I was standing there in pain with tears in my eyes..........he told me I did not have to come back for I think 5 years, not sure about that. Have not been called again but I am just down the street now.
i pop in ...read here ..there..always check to see you're okay...
we've been really cold here...stoking fire..and high anxiety over this jury thing..i have to call today...after 5 to know..
don't have a dr..so no letter...we'll see...thanks hon ...stay safe and warm
 
We walked this morning. My knee was giving me pain but I walked through it. Don't know if that is good to do or not but I feel like my friend really needs this exercise. While we are walking one of the guys who lives on our floor comes out and I like him but sometimes he says things that annoy me. I ignore them and don't say anything back. He can walk really well and will make remarks about us walking the hall. Like it is the most boring thing in the world to be doing. And here we were both feeling proud that we have kept it up for a whole month and still doing it.

Nobody needs to tell me how in the summer we will be able to walk outside. I know that, I do that. The thing about walking the hall is we just go out our door and walk. No taking the elevator downstairs. Simple to do every morning like a routine. Which is very good for my friend to have a routine. I doubt I would have walked every single day if I was going outside to do it. Even going outside it is not like walking in the forest like I used to do every day. Just make best of what you have and try to keep it simple. That is what I try to do. It may look strange to others but I don't care what others think anymore.
 
We walked this morning. My knee was giving me pain but I walked through it. Don't know if that is good to do or not but I feel like my friend really needs this exercise. While we are walking one of the guys who lives on our floor comes out and I like him but sometimes he says things that annoy me. I ignore them and don't say anything back. He can walk really well and will make remarks about us walking the hall. Like it is the most boring thing in the world to be doing. And here we were both feeling proud that we have kept it up for a whole month and still doing it.

Nobody needs to tell me how in the summer we will be able to walk outside. I know that, I do that. The thing about walking the hall is we just go out our door and walk. No taking the elevator downstairs. Simple to do every morning like a routine. Which is very good for my friend to have a routine. I doubt I would have walked every single day if I was going outside to do it. Even going outside it is not like walking in the forest like I used to do every day. Just make best of what you have and try to keep it simple. That is what I try to do. It may look strange to others but I don't care what others think anymore.
You're right to not care about what others think Kat.. and if your neighbour had any common sense he would realise the reason why you exercise as you do in the Hallways... he should have some admiration for the fact that you're both determined to exercise despite your disabilities .. stupid Man!
 
I now watch two YouTube channels that are made by English people, one a couple and one a man. The man's channel is Lost In The Pond and I have been watching him for a couple of years now. The other channel is a young English couple who show their reaction to other's videos about America. I have really gotten into it. They will watch a video that shows something about our life here and stop the video to react. Like the ones about our food (especially our southern food!) or our state parks.

Then I watch a reaction channel by a New Zealand family. Two parents and two children. I get such a kick out of the kids' faces when they are amazed about something we do here in America. Like the one about most Americans do not have a passport........the kids eyes about bugged out of their head! It is so funny. A guy from Kentucky sent them a box full of US snacks and candy. It was funny watching them all sample something so simple as Lay's potato chips or Doritos. Now I am addicted to their channel as well.

I started watching these channels to get away from the health, dying and end of the world type of things. They keep showing up on my feed, must be because I turned 70.
 
Sometimes I am quite lazy. I put off doing things I should do. Ever since the beginning of January I have tried a new tactic to get me doing these things. I am talking about household chores mostly. This seems to work for me but might not for someone else. I will get things prepared to do what needs to be done. This is something I have always done to clean Rabbit's cage which is a daily job. I take out all the things I use to do it and put them in place where I use them. Like the broom, dustpan, newspapers (for the bottom of his cage), etc. Then go back to whatever I was doing. They are ready for me when I finally get started.

Sometimes I never get to it. Yesterday I sorted my laundry and got it ready to take downstairs. Never got to it. I will today for sure. Putting off the laundry I don't understand as it used to be a job I liked doing until I had to do it by hand for twenty years. The house I lived in before the last house, had a laundry room and I loved that. Lately though my right arm is hurting me and sometimes I cannot carry stuff. I think what is aggravating it is holding onto my walker too tightly. Now I am trying to remind myself to just set my hands on the handles and guide it. I don't need to hold onto it for dear life!

I managed to finally get my printer going. It wasn't the printer so much but it had become unconnected from the computer. So I finally got it going last week. I haven't used it very much since the time I put the new ink in but now it is telling me I am low on ink. I wonder if it evaporates if it is not being used? I cannot buy more until next month. I am living on my budget and did not put a cushion in this month since I was paying off two more debts. Doing a "no spend" month as well as not using any credit cards or accounts from now on.

I was planning on working on calendars for everyone in our building. I can design it and hopefully print one out as that is all I need. Then I take it to the store down the street and have copies made. They are cheaper than me printing them out with my ink and paper.

So that is my thoughts for today so far.......back to my delicious coffee! Have a good day!
 
Since Sonny's health is not good, he is having to use oxygen most of the day now, I am not seeing him as often. In some ways that is good. It forces me to find my own independence. He has been on so many prescriptions that he does not know if he coming or going. They are trying to wean him off some of those since his doctor thought he was over medicated. Probably was. Plus his family and friends kept smoking around him, in his car and house. I feel they were selfish and thoughtless. Bad enough they do that around their children and grandchildren. They are pretty much all chain smokers. Sonny would never ask them not to smoke around him. He said he couldn't do that.

After the winter I will be making my dental appointments to have my teeth extracted. So I am going to start stockpiling some Keto Chow. I will put the money in my budget maybe next month. Cash is king, so no more buying on credit cards. Whenever I need something, I need to plan for it in my budget. This is working out really good for me. My emails are full of offers now from my credit card companies as I have been paying stuff down or off......paid off three this year! I just laugh and delete!

Rabbit was running laps around me just a bit ago. I knew he was getting excited because it was time for me to get his banana. Nothing excites him more than that banana in the morning! He is a happy camper now, stretched out and snoozing.

Today is going to be a productive day for me as I have a lot of things I need to do. If you are reading this far, Have a great day!
 


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